Archive for November, 2013

PostHeaderIcon Talking stuff

By Vernalee - women talking One of the beauties about my inner circle of girlfriends and family is that we can indiscriminately talk about whatever is on our minds. The subjects change because our conversations change to reflect our attitudes, discussions, dispositions, and lives. There is no agenda; it is just us! We let it all “hang out” and we judge not! I like our freeness.

I hope that you will see a little bit of us in you! Our discussions are probably no different than yours – or as far as that is concerned – our Mothers, if we could have eaves-dropped years ago. As women, we reflect those timeless commonalities.

My girls and I do talk considerable “smack!” Follow us! Join us! Comment and share your thoughts with us!

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon It paid off!

By Vernalee - grandmother teaching cookingI don’t know how I let it happen, but I didn’t teach my daughter how to cook. I taught my son the basics; he knew his way around the kitchen. But by the time my daughter came around, we dined out a lot and picked up meals often. I was also engrossed in my career with limited time.

With an adult daughter who couldn’t cook, my Mother chastised me fiercely. Admittedly, I failed to teach her what my Mother taught me. So about six years ago, a new day was on the horizon. With a willingness to learn and a Grandmother’s desire to teach, my daughter decided that she would prepare Thanksgiving dinner. With the patience of Job, my Mother taught her the ropes. My daughter watched; she stirred; she baked; and she wrote down all the instructions and recipes in her laptop. It was captivating to watch this darling pair! The feast was prepared. The time had come! The true test would be how the meal tasted. The food was absolutely delicious!

Though I cannot take the credit, proud, I am. She is almost a master chef today! My Mother’s lessons paid off! The girl can now “throw down!” I am reaping the benefits! She cooked Thanksgiving dinner last year for me!


PostHeaderIcon It’s Thanksgiving!

By Vernalee

black-woman-cooking www.bossip.comGreetings! It’s Thanksgiving: A day of family; a day of food and cooking; a day of giving thanks and being thankful!

Now, how long have you been up cooking? How many times have you called your Mother or a wise cook to obtain preparation instructions for dishes? My Momma’s mouthwatering turkeys were always finger licking good!

Veteran cooks like my Mother can taste the sweetest cake and discern that a half teaspoon of salt is missing! Incredible, isn’t it! I just love my almost 90 year old Mother’s instructions for cooking turkeys. “The key is seasoning. You have to wash and dress her thoroughly. Put a good bit of salt and pepper on her and rub in the seasonings with your hand real good!” Momma referred to the turkey using a feminine descriptor.

See, no matter what, we are always the stars and the center of attention! We are queens not only on Thanksgiving Day, but every day of the year! Now, “that’s what I am talking about!” Bon Appetit!

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Work is overrated!

By Vernalee
big bird -
A job is more than working occupationally on the worksite. You are engulfed in a consortium of non- work things. For starters, there are compatibility assessments (i.e. Do you fit in?); alienation; clicks; favoritism; harassment; discrimination; bullying; gross inequities and unfairness, among others.

Lest not forget the broken verbal promises. “If it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist!” The old fashioned quote, “Your word is your bond” or the handshake of agreement have faded in oblivion. The less talented worker may often times get the promotions and the accompanying big bucks. Up the ladder he (or she) goes! Being friends and partying with the boss don’t hurt! My girlfriend was passed over three times before she received a justifiable promotion.

To those militant smarty pants, remember this salient fact: If you challenge the system, you are often blackballed, if not fired! Keep in mind, an invulnerable reason for termination will suffice in “at will” states. Contrived rationales for your removal can be magically fabricated overnight.

Race plays as big of a factor as ever. If actions become discriminatory, they are camouflaged if challenged. Nothing much has changed, other than the system and staff becoming more sophisticated on what is legally appropriate to say or do.

How black is your Black boss? It depends! That is a subject for another day.

Meanwhile, you go to work to earn a living. Some days, you have to fight to keep your head above water. Degrees don’t insulate you. The glass ceiling may limit you.

Confucius said, “Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
Unfortunately, he didn’t work at ________ (company) located in ______ (city) with such an interesting crew.

Woe to the abusers; thank goodness for doors to exit! No one is exempted; not even Big Bird. Had he won the election, Mitt Romney wanted to fire him to balance the budget!

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon What would you do?

By Vernalee
Cheaters - photobucket

If you saw your girlfriend’s husband or boyfriend in an unquestionable cheating predicament, what would you do?

Would you tell her; keep your mouth closed; spread the news of the sighting by telling others; confront her hubby / boyfriend to verify the circumstances before spilling the beans; put the cheater on notice with a warning; post on Facebook; take verifying photographs with your cell phone; call your girlfriend immediately so that she can see the damaging scene for herself? Nothing beats being caught with your hands in the cookie jar! It’s even better than a surveillance camera! Simply put, will you meddle and tell or refrain and be silent? Will your informational release be now, later, or never? If you elect to be silent, are you participating in the process as a contributory negligent bystander?

It is a slippery slope because the revelation of the information can be just as hurting and damaging as the maintenance thereof. You can become a home wrecker or a unifier providing a wakeup call which may stimulate the couple to get it together before it falls apart!

Question: If your mate was cheating, what would you expect your friend to do if she witnessed same? I know what I would do. Do you?

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Titles

By Vernalee - wine and glass

I have been called Miss, Mrs. and Ms.
I have been single, married, divorced, and in committed relationships. Though unmarried, I instinctively live a married lifestyle because that is the régime that molded me. By appearance and behavior, one would never know who I am. I have fooled the best! I am perfectly imperfect!

As a young girl, my Mother taught me a lifelong lesson. “It doesn’t matter what someone calls you; what matters is what you answer to.” So, today in 2013, I enjoy incredible happiness. Once I elevated my life to the point where my happiness was not consummately centered on a man, I evolved! Don’t take this the wrong way! A man brings bountiful happiness. I prefer having a man in my life than not. Most women do. Through living, however, I achieved balance. I love my children, my grandchild, my family, and the man of the given hour. More importantly, I love me! The future may bring a change; but for now, call me happy. That’s the word that I happily answer to! Cheers! I’ll drink to that!

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Whatever happened to the slip?

By Vernalee - slip

I never see them anymore. My Mother has dozens of slips in all colors, styles, and lengths in her lingerie drawers. I think her generation still wears them. The feminine petticoats of old are fading away into extinction.

I don’t believe my daughter owns one.
I vaguely remember her wearing one years ago as a skirt!
Personally, I haven’t worn a slip in years; neither have many of my girlfriends.

Styles, fabric and clothing have changed over the years lessening the necessity for the slip undergarment. Although the dress is here to stay, women are of course wearing more stylish pants suits for business and pleasure. Finally, it eliminated the saying of these four words to a woman, “your slip is hanging!”

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Man vs. woman regarding dating

By Vernalee - black girl and guy -article about myths about dating

Recently, I had a discussion regarding date selections with a close male companion. From his point of view, we women use selective and rigid criteria that men don’t specifically consider particularly as it relates to selecting a date. Hmmm!

For example, if a man saw a woman that appealed to him and she worked at a fast food establishment, he would ask her out. On the contrary, a woman would be diffident if a fast food chain male employee asked her out. All things considered and equal, he indicated that men have a greater tendency to look at the person, while women to a greater degree will look at the occupation with infinite scrutiny. Expressed differently, men look internally; women, externally. What a contrast! In fact, he and a group of his male colleagues had a consensus of opinion on this very fact. Their conclusions beg to ask the following questions.

Is it that women seek security? Is it that a woman wants to date a man who can financially support her, with that same characteristic not being as significant to the male population since they are the dominant supporters; the breadwinners? Do women follow the dollars while men follow their desires? That’s a change of thought for those women who cannot see beyond their noses and their hearts when in love! Have not women been characteristically accused of loving men blindly; loving them “just because” of love?

Is it not fathers who counsel their daughters, “Girl, you better marry someone who can take care of you? You cannot always follow your heart! ” Thus, the coaching and foundation for a woman’s criteria for dating may actually start with male guidance. Fathers know best! Interesting, isn’t it!

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Thanksgiving Dinner

By Vernalee - turkey dinner

Grocery stores are full of shoppers buying turkeys and items for the prized Thanksgiving dinner. Many of my friends and family members have started preparing side dishes and desserts. Items that can be frozen and advanced prepared are underway.

As we approach Thanksgiving Day, we have to keep in mind that it is more than the turkey and dressing, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, candied yams, greens and countless desserts. Yum! Yes, the significance of the day is greater than the meal and the family sitting around the dinner table. It is a time to be thankful; a time to count your blessings; a time of reflections. I have so much for which to be thankful; too numerous to count!

Therefore, I ask, “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday?”

Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Discovering our roots

By Vernalee - Roots

When Alex Haley’s Roots: The Saga of an American Family” debuted on television in 1977, I remembered being glued to the tube. I was so captivated that I only moved when there were commercial breaks.  In my early twenties at the time, I recalled being extremely angry at the treatment that we as a race had received.  This miniseries inescapably placed the horrors of slavery before the eyes of America.

Decades later, when Skip Gates followed with his “Finding your Roots” specials, a passionate interest brewed into tracing our family’s roots.  Dr. Gates’ latter historical consulting capacity with the film, “Twelve years as a slave” further intensified my investigative curiosity.

Unearthing our family’s history is one of my new interests.  I am fascinated and curious to see what I find as I venture back to trace our roots; particularly finding ancestors several generations back.  I know that my family will be enlightened with my finds!  If you take the dive, your family will be too!

Photo reprint:

Receive our Blog in your Inbox

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Stuff We Talk About on Twitter