Archive for December, 2013

PostHeaderIcon Where is he?

By Vernalee - Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen Are you looking for your Prince Charming or just a good man in general? The fictional Disney character, Princess Tiana found her beau! Who cares if she turned into a frog beforehand? She ended up with her man! Much speculation has been circulated regarding Prince Naveen’s race. Is he of color, Black, White, Indian, or a Frenchman? He does have an appealing accent. Hmmm, the racial ambiguity leaves the mind wondering. Who cares as long as he makes your highness happy? She didn’t limit her choices, why should we? From the look of things, they appear to be extremely happy in each other’s arms – even if it is a cartoon.

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PostHeaderIcon The single married woman

By Vernalee
wedding ring - stevenericson.netThe single married woman – what an oxymoron of words! True, but it is an accurate description of many women that you know. Of course, there is not a definition describing her or outlining her characteristics in Bing, Webster, or any dictionary. I am not referring to the woman who is married but feel as if she is in her marriage alone – all by her lonesome. My reference of the single married woman is the woman who is single, but acts married. Her mannerism, conduct, behaviors, lifestyles, discussions…everything about her signifies married life. It is not infrequent that someone would inconspicuously say, “I thought that she was married. You could’ve fooled me!”

She is a startling contrast to the married woman who acts single! Oh my!
I am positive that you have seen her in your universe. You may interact with a single married woman regularly without a second thought. I know many; one in particular. Me!

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PostHeaderIcon One in a million

By Vernalee
larry graham

“Love had played it’s games on me so long
I started to believe I’d never find anyone,
Doubt had tried to convince me to give in,
Said you can’t win…

But one day the sun it came a’shinin’ through,
The rain had stopped, and the skies were blue,
And oh, what a revelation, to see,
Someone was saying “I love you” to me,

I was a lonely man with empty arms to fill,
Then I found a piece of happiness to call my own.
And life is worth living, again,
For to love you, to me, is to live.

A one in a million, chance of a lifetime.
And life, showed compassion,
And sent to me, a stroke of love, called you.
A one in a million you.”

If a man can utter those heartfelt lyrics and mean them, he is worth his weight in gold. Why would you settle for anything less? Every woman needs a Larry Graham type with a deep voice plucking a bass guitar personally serenading her with follow up actions true to form! She as I deserve the accolades and that type of love, honor, and devotion.

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PostHeaderIcon Enter the cheaters

By Vernalee
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow.”

Many women have witnessed and some regretfully experienced the acts of cheaters. These cheaters duck, hide, and take side streets among other gimmicky ploys to shield their acts. They cheat in the dark and in the light. They go through many traps to avoid getting caught or being seen. As much time may be spent on camouflages as on the act itself. If caught, be prepared to hear their lies, excuses and apologies. Mostly anything will be done to remain in good graces at least until the next cheating act.

It begs to ask. Are they remorseful? Or as Rihanna said, “they are only sorry that they got caught.” For some women, the cheaters must leave. It is curtain time. So, Mr. Cheater – get lost, never return, and let the door hit you where the good Lord gave you to sit!

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PostHeaderIcon A special dedication to Mr. Noncommittal: You know who you are!

By Vernalee - Beyonce single lady
“Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
‘Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.”

The single ladies thank you Beyonce for a memorable message. If he cannot read between the lines, oh well!

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PostHeaderIcon A two way street

By Vernalee -  2 way streets
I learn just as much from my children as they do from me! Routinely, we bounce ideas off each other. We help each other think, come up with ideas, and solve problems. Sounding boards and motivators, we have become! We work as an innovative team; an unbeatable one at that. Our concepts and thoughts – be they spiritual, personal, professional, entrepreneurial and the like – wisely flow in both directions.

Often, I am not sure – who is teaching whom. It doesn’t really matter because we all benefit in the process and in the end. We thoughtfully respect each other’s opinions. I am so thankful for them, their knowledge, their interventions, and their wisdom. Perhaps, my foundation was better than I thought. What sagacious children I have! Our modus operandi is one of “give and take” as we lovingly and sincerely want the other to succeed. Our relationship is uniquely special and its radiance brightly shines for us and the world to see. There is strength in numbers. “Together we stand; divided we fall.”

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PostHeaderIcon Just chilling

By Vernalee black woman sitting on couch

We all need a day to just relax. Simply, put on a pair of comfortable pajamas or a lounge dress and just unwind with no agenda. Watch television, talk on the telephone, listen to music, read, scroll the internet, have a glass of wine / juice or do whatever (even if it’s nothing) suits your fancy. If you want to cuddle with that special someone, how wonderful! Just enjoy and relax! Just chill!

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PostHeaderIcon The Post it note

By Vernalee
iphone-text-245x400 One of the memorable episodes on Sex and the City is when Jack Berger, a fellow writer broke up with Carrie on a post it note. He did not have the courage or nerves to tell her face to face.

None of her girlfriends believed that a person would be so cowardly until they saw the note themselves. How tragically devastating this form of breakup was!

Now, a new version of pusillanimous conduct is on the horizon. A person can say via text messaging or emailing what he / she is not man (or woman) enough to say in person. Everybody does it; even bosses! Sure, I know that there are legitimate reasons to say things technologically. It’s convenient, fast, efficient, financially feasible, timely, and expedient.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in its uses. I use my iPhone and iPad religiously. I am codependent upon these devices. I just have problems with people who cannot stand behind their words or actions; people who use technology as a cowardly shield. Thus, it is not the technology; it’s the lily-livered person that I defy. They are dangerously sneaky and spineless punks. No worries. That is their problem; not mine. Maybe, I will reveal what I think about them with a text message or on a sticky note!

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PostHeaderIcon Men and water

By Vernalee -faucet running water Truly men are like running water. They can be – cold, hot or lukewarm. And just like running water, they can run away from you and their responsibilities too. Further, similar to the temperature of water, you can feel his temperament. A man can burn you like scalding water; he can be chilly like ice cold water; he can be warm and cozy like lukewarm water. His fluidity can be planned or spontaneous; mistaken or intentioned. Complicated! Right?

Because of its liquidity, you cannot really hold on to water, for it run right through your hands. It flows downstream, dissipates and washes away its traces. The water from a soothing bath and a hot shower can cleanse, relax, and comfort you. Sounds familiar! Sounds like a man! He can be slippery even if he is not wet. For containment, thank goodness for sink stoppers. I guess the analogies continue because, there comes a time when a man stops, voluntarily or involuntarily; when he settles and stop running from the actualities of life.
The interchangeableness of his temperatures (hot, cold, warm) is enough to keep you puzzled. Lukewarm men are middle of the road personalities. They are the most difficult, because they foster doubt and confusion; their warmth in temperature or spirit can be quite mystifying.

You may have a man for all seasons (and temperatures)! Optimistically, as you grow together, eventually you should be able to figure him out; wet or dry! Hopefully, you can in time read him like a book; and he, you!

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PostHeaderIcon A new date for a different day

By Vernalee black, white coupleInterracial dating is the name that has been typically used when different races date. Later, it was spiced up with colloquial expressions including references as ebony and ivory harmony and zebra coating. Last week, I heard a new name that was quite sexy; vanilla swirling.

As Black women explore their options, don’t be surprised to see an upsurge of their venturing out with other races and cultures; as do their racial counterparts.

Food for thought: Should race matter when someone makes you happy? Is love colored? Will Black men shadily look at Black women dating White men with roving eyes? Will Black men say that the White guys are taking the better educated, most beautiful, and top money making Black women (the cream of the crop) leaving them with the bottom of the barrel leftovers? Will they be resentful if Black women proportionately marry White men because the privileged White guys can expose them to greener pastures; sooner, at least? Who knows what they might think, do, or say?

Fair play – may be what the Black dating woman strolling with her new White beau might say! She may reciprocally ask, “Is there anything wrong with vanilla swirl dessert?”

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