Archive for October, 2014
Thanks to the tutelage of my Daddy, “I have never been in a physical fight!” Sorry, I misspoke. My sister smacked me around once. Why? I never knew! I guess, it was an unalienable big sister’s prerogative. Anyway , my Daddy said, “Smart girls can talk their way out of trouble. Good Lord, as much as you talk, that will be easy! But if someone aggressively attack you, knock them out; knock them to kingdom come!” My Daddy sage advice kept me in the driver’s seat respective to the avoidance of physical entanglements. By my own admission, I have been left in the dark often when it came to emotional battles. When a friend violates you, it can be a surprising and devastating punch. It hurts! You don’t expect betrayal from them! Getting up from a friend’s rope a dope attack can be so difficult that you may need help to be peeled from the ground. Your emotional battles can be incapacitating if you allow the mental scar tissues to bruise your ego. If emotional fights happened so long ago that you cannot remember how they started, that’s scary! It’s a lingering spar that knows no origin! At some juncture in our lives, we have to “peel back the onion.” When you get to the core, either you will see the problem or realize that you have nothing left! Of course, you will shed some tears from the onion juices or from your misfortunes. As we lived through our ups and downs, we should realize that we make mistakes. Forgiving and forgetting – are vital steps toward reconciling our differences and ending Hatfield / McCoy battles that are fought within! If we don’t, the unpleasant stench from our emotional battles will never subside! Friends or those who have become former friends – should never want that….
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There is a phrase commonly referred to as “Crabs in a Barrel.” Essentially, it means that if I can’t have something, neither can you. This phrase takes its metaphor meaning from the crabs. Through their very nature, crabs have the tendency to pull at the other. As soon as one ascends a few inches, the other pulls it down. Subsequently, none or few of the crabs can escape and get out because of this pulley effect. Human nature can be no different. Some folks pull down the other because of jealousies, spite, egos, and envies. Rather than see their colleague achieve success, he / she will contribute to their demise. They harbor resentment to the other’s success. It is a short minded way of thinking, but a reality that unfortunately exist for too many folks! Their animal like resemblances to the crabs’ shells, claws, and tails keep getting in the way of progressive thinking, activity, and progress. Sounds familiar?
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Sometimes we have to bend; give a little / take a little; be the bigger person. Can you be kind to folks who are not kind to you? I am not asking you to compromise your values, violate your tenets, or be a fool for anyone. By no stretch of the imagination do you have to “go along just to get along.” However, learning to bend helps you to see low and high! It helps you to step outside of your comfort zone to step into someone else’s. It helps you to conscientiously grow to another level without losing your values or balance. Bending helps you pick up your pieces and the pieces of others, if necessary. Changing your posture can be sign of maturely responding to life’s circumstances. It’s a sign of stretching beyond your normalcy as you deal with life and living; as you deal with achieving / maintaining harmonious relationships with family / friends. Bending into uncharted territories is a courageous step of being a pioneer to positively change the course of your life and the people that you touch!
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How big is your purse and how much does it weigh?
After watching a recent Today Show episode, the question regarding the weight of a woman’s purse stirred curiosity. So the hosts brought out a scale. Hoda Kotb’s purse weighed 11 pounds; while Kathie Lee’s weighed 2 lbs. and some change. Carrying around 11 pounds is tantamount to walking with a 10 lb. plus bag of sugar on your shoulder. Ouch! There have been correlations to the weight of purses to shoulder, neck, and back pain. Thus, we should try to carry only basic essentials. That determination was not easy! It was difficult for me to decide what I needed. So I came up with a workable solution. I can be a genius occasionally! I scaled back on the size of my purse. The smaller the purse; the less it contains; the less it weighs! Clever; right?
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Yes, I snore! Fairly loud, but manageable, I am told! Medically, snoring occurs when air cannot flow between the nose and mouth during sleep. Because of this airway obstruction, snoring, and the sounds thereof, occur! Sleep apnea and other medical conditions can also be involved. You see, snoring is not a choice. No one snores for the fun of it! Sure, the sounds are embarrassing to the snorer; while, at the same time disturbing to those that the sounds keep from sleeping. There are aids for the snoring population including nasal strips, masks, mouth pieces, better pillows, etc. We conscientious snorer seek those aids. Now let’s see… There are a number of interesting “snoring stories” that I can share such as my friend’s roommate who during a retreat vacated the bedroom and slept in the bathtub to get away from the sound. Laughter or not, keep in mind that both parties (the snorer and the person who hears the snoring) are affected! With experimentation and devices, a “quieter” solution can be experienced where no one is disturbed, embarrassed, or kept from a good night’s sleep!
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One of the first gospel songs that I learned to sing as a child was ” Jesus Loves Me. This I know. For the Bible tells me so.”
In the scriptures, Jesus showed an incredible love for all people, but especially children. In Matthew 19:14, Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, do not hinder them, for the kingdom belongs to such as these.”
What an incredible blessing it is to grow up in the faith knowing that you are, have been, and will be loved unconditionally all the days of your life…by Jesus! For sure, Jesus and I have been “bonded” for years! “Yes Jesus loves me and you!” Oh yes, “Bless assurance, Jesus is mine!” Happy Sunday!
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Our mouths frequently get us in trouble. I remember the old folks in Mississippi telling me as a youth that I talked to much! I still do, but age does bring about a change. I have learned that it is not so much the frequency of our speech, but the indiscriminate nature of knowing what to say and what not to say in front of whom and where. Some things don’t even dignify an answer! The maturity of our minds and hearts will hopefully assist in the taming of our tongue. As basketball great, Bill Walton once said, “Once the ball is up in the air, we cannot redirect its course.” Likewise, once our words are out and heard, we cannot reissue them. So, let your conscience be your guide on what to say. If a mistake in judgment is made, apologize! Whatever you want for yourself is what you should give to others! Talk less; listen more!
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A young female protégé revealed an interesting revelation this week. She said that since she was not shown a spirit of caring from her previous boyfriend that she had almost forgotten what that cuddly feeling felt like; how special love makes you feel! Now, that the current man in her life shows her true love and affection, the air is filled with an aroma of sweet fragrances with the scents of caring, love, and respect. Right now, she is floating on a cloud! I am ecstatically happy for her! I now hear about the wonderful things that are occurring in her current relationship; as opposed to the gloom and doom that she once experienced and echoed! Currently, she is walking in the atmosphere of the expected normalcy of love; she is breathing the titillating fragrances that his conduct exudes. As women, we cannot let a man treat us beneath the royalty befitting a queen. Anything less would be uncivilized!
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Stop the madness! A colleague called me and said that a man with Bruce Lee’s talents was performing at her job! “Is your company having a picnic or talent show? What is the occasion?” In her lovely southern accent, she replied, “It’s just status quo around here. One of our top executives is letting a manager have it…again!” He was so loud that the entire staff walked out into the hallway to see what the commotion was. No one wants to miss a good fight! He yelled at the manager and said, “If you don’t do it; I will put my foot up your derriere!” (Excuse my French derivative; he used the “A” word!). He was cussing up a storm! When I said, “Rest assured, this executive will be terminated or severely disciplined,” she started laughing uncontrollably! I asked, “What’s funny?” She replied, “Nothing is going to happen to him! He does this at least two or three times a month. Besides, he and the boss are drinking buddies!” Astonished, I am still shaking my head! Unfortunately, the poor manager who got the threatened “boot” can’t sit down; his behind is bruised with scars of repetitive emotional insults!
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I know that you have seen this look before with the woman’s behind exposed. Some of them show the crack of their derriere. Hush yo mouth! I kid you not! In an earlier blog post in May of this year, I provided a poem that was written by Dr. Beady for men who wore baggy pants. A similar application of showing your behind applies for the women as well. So for my men and women violators … in my reading audience, read this:
“Hey you —with yo pants down to yo knees. Some of us still respect our women. Will you pull them up please! You old enough and I know that you should know enough not to be runnin’ round with yo pants down to yo knees. Naw, I take that back what I just said to you. You aint runnin’. Yo pants won’t allow you to. If you move too fast they fall down…to the ground. I declare. I swear. I do not want to see your underwear. How do you do that anyway? How do they stay in that position? You must be a magician. If you spent as much time with yo mind as you do with your behind ..showing..I be knowin’, in time, you would have a bank! I do not want to see yo draws! Pull up yo pants please!”
Excerpts from “Don’t Be a Fool for Hip Hop: Pull Up Yo Pants” By Dr. Charles H. Beady, Jr. who served as President for Piney Woods Schools for 20 years. Piney Woods, located in Mississippi, is one of four historically Black boarding high schools in the United States.
A while back, Dr. Beady read this poem and received a standing ovation at my church, Mt. Olive Missionary Baptist Church, Cleveland, Ohio. For those who have seen those despicable sagging pants and want them annihilated, say amen!
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