Archive for November, 2014

PostHeaderIcon Is he exhibiting behavior that makes you not trust him?

By Vernalee
Let me share a story:
She thought that she was happily married, until her friend told her that her husband was on her Facebook page in a compromising photograph with another woman! Busted! You can’t hide on social media! Then the wife’s research started; aggressively, I might add! The worst thing that a man can have is an inquisitive woman that he has given every reason to be inquisitive. Go girl! Check him out! Women can find and pick up dirt better than a vacuum cleaner. We were trained to clean and inspect in our adolescence. Our friends will voluntarily help us simply because they may have walked in our moccasins. There is strength in numbers! Teaming agreements aren’t just for businesses! When you cheat; often times you slip. When you slip; you get “found out!” A man would probably prefer being investigated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation – than the Female Bureau of Investigation. We are more thorough and the consequences are worst. Don’t label this as jealousy; call it wisdom to separate facts from fiction!
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PostHeaderIcon Are you the jealous type?

By Vernalee
Thriving business; fantastic career; big house; new car; extravagant jewelry / clothes, lavish vacations …..all are ideal scenarios of materialism!
Sounds good! Oh yes! But what happens to your psyche when all of these things belong to someone else? Are you truly happy for them or are you jealous that they have more things than you? Do you like to see people do good or do you resent it particularly when they are doing better than you? Misery loves company; does it not? I’m sorry …do I sense a twinge of jealousy and abundant envy? Jealousy is not a good utilization of your time; you end up spending more time on others – than yourself! What a waste! Get out of the equalization mode and realize / achieve your greatness! Did it ever occur to you that the people who “have it all,” worked very hard to be in that position? Realign your priorities and thinking! Put your time to better use. The time that you spend looking at other folks’ stuff, you could utilize on acquiring your own! Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses! Don’t worry (about theirs); be happy (about yours)!
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PostHeaderIcon Dancing With The Stars provided a teachable lesson in life!

By Vernalee
Last night, Alphonso Riberio may not have done the “Carlton” for which he is famously known from his days on the ” The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.” My son informed me recently that he and my daughter had watched every single episode of “The Fresh Prince” and “The Cosby Show.” To him, that feat was a phenomenal accomplishment! I’ll say…Everything in life is relative; but that’s from my eyes, not his! Last night, though, through tremendous pain and tears, Alphonso kept dancing. Now that’s an admirable feat! Judge Len Goodman respectfully and admirably told Alphonso that “pain is temporary; glory is forever.” Life throws all of us curve balls. What’s important is our strength to persevere; to continue; to not give up! Carlton (I mean Alphonso) showed us that! Even though I am not a DWTS judge, I cast my vote for Alphonso. He’s got the moves and the courage to continue through his pain and not throw in the towel! He is a champion in my book! Excuse me, I have to call my son Scooter and tell him about Carlton…even though Will Smith was his favorite character! I am sure that he will tell me what specifically happened on that particular episode when Carlton unveiled his famous dance to the Fresh Prince fans! Aw Shucks! I have to listen!
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PostHeaderIcon The “S” Word…

By Vernalee
heather on her
Snow, snow, snow! The “S” word that after all these years, I dread hearing and worst yet, seeing! Welcome to winter wonderland!
Winter is in full bloom. Accompanied by swift blowing winds and cold temperatures, falling snow has arrived! Those tiny white crystal flakes have fallen from the sky and lined our pathways…as expected, once again! It’s a yearly ritual. A glimpse out of your window shows piles of mountainous white stacks of those flakes as far as your eyes can see. Snow is everywhere. Lest not forget the ice sickles! Soon, I will be watching kids play in the snow. They build snowmen, slid down the slippery slopes and roll in the snow’s glistening whiteness; all in the name of fun! Some folks cannot wait for the ski slopes to be covered with those white glory of flakes … and a gliding they will go! Here’s the flip side. When your morning is consumed by listening to NBC’s Weatherman Al Roker tell you how many inches will fall in “your neck of the woods, it’s too much! It takes me over the edge!
I need not be reminded of the white flakes. We have never been on friendly terms! Driving in it can be challenging; sliding, swerving, gliding everywhere. A normal 30 minute commute can easily become a 2 hour journey with the accumulation of that rapidly falling “white stuff.” Snow can bring traffic to a squealing halt. And it did a few nights ago in Cleveland, Ohio! Need I remind those who were stuck in it .. here, there and everywhere!
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PostHeaderIcon Footprints in the sand

By Vernalee
imagesCAH8N8TY glogster,comFootprints in the Sand: Mary Stevenson, 1936
“One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Thank you Lord for walking with me; for guiding me; for being by my side even when I knew not; for carrying me when I’m weak! Thank you Lord for your everlasting love! Happy Sunday!
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PostHeaderIcon Insanity … Albert Einstein defined it years ago! Are we listening?

By Vernalee
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
Need I say more? If we desire different results, our actions must change. If we continue to do the same things, we will receive the same results. Very simple, right? Easy said; hard to do! Many of us think that we can magically defy rational odds. Exceptions including luck can enter into the picture. Eventually, though, the realization of our thoughts / actions determine our outcomes. We can or cannot believe that we will obtain different outcomes when the ingredients are the same. That’s our choice. “Doing” and “expecting” are reciprocal. Einstein’s definition of insanity is quite clear. Our acceptance of it may not be! Thus, we end up with what we think and do…..insane or not!
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PostHeaderIcon A treasured family heirloom

This week, a photograph of my Great Grandmother was passed down to me for safekeeping. I was thrilled. Tears rolled down my cheeks. It is a privilege for me to be the responsible holder of this valuable piece. Tucked in an oval shaped wooded frame, I stared at the photograph for a considerable period of time. Having heard courageous stories about Great Granny, I visualized the aura of her personality; her spirit. This photo once hung in my Mother’s living room before it found its home at my Uncle’s residence in Warren, Ohio. It is the oldest photo of a family member to my knowledge. In talking to my Mother, this photo was most likely taken in the late 1800’s. Saddened, my Mother stated that she has no photographs of her Mother. The only photos of my Grandmother were tucked in a family Bible which was later lost. Interestingly, we indiscriminately take photos everyday with our camera phones, but photography was a rare luxury in those times for Black folks. Thus, this particular photo has great ancestral significance. Yes, I am the caretaker of the oldest treasured remnant of our family’s history; the holder and preserver of generational memories which connect my maternal ancestry to its descendants. What a honor!
Photo credit:; photographed individuals – unknown.

PostHeaderIcon KKK – Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim Kardashian – What an insulting instagram!

By Vernalee
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A picture is worth a thousand words and your insensitivities featured in this referenced Instagram validated that slogan. Khloe, I understand that you posted this incredulous, insulting, and humiliating photo. After public outrage, it was reported that you deleted it. Khloe, can you and your sisters (with Kris’ permission) indulge me for a brief internet conversation? Knowing this country’s history may help you to understand the violent injustices credited to the KKK. I know all about the KKK Ku Klux Klan. The white sheet wearing group who cowardly couldn’t show their faces handed down many disgraceful / disrespectful treatments and injustices to Black folks. Hanging Black men up on trees have been credited to the hands of the KKK. I remember the night that the KKK rode in my hometown of Glen Allan, Mississippi with the purpose of “scaring” us! (I am sorry. I forgot to mention that I am a Black woman). Shortly afterwards, the same notorious KKK burned down to the ground a Black church, St. John Baptist Church. No more church services or civil rights meetings there…for a while at least. Courtesy of the KKK, Glen Allan’s own Civil Rights activist Jake Ayers had a cross burned in his yard that ignited his gas tank while his 8 kids were asleep inside. (For your bedside reading, I invite you to read Ayers v. Fordice, a case about the racially segregated system of higher education filed by Jake Ayers. He didn’t let the KKK stop him). I question not the sexual overtone of your printed message. That’s your business that you put out in the streets. I will tell you that the KKK’s messages and actions did not follow suit. They have however beaten, killed, and relegated / debased Black men to be beneath them; to inferior statues mind you! So Khloe, Kim, and Kourtney, please know that I will not be watching “Kourtney and Khloe take the Hamptons.” Neither, will I be tuning into “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” How can I when you are the KKK?
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PostHeaderIcon “I’m tired. In fact, I am sick and tired!”

By Vernalee
Most of you in my reading audience know that I am from Mississippi. I am also embarrassed of former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour’s recent racist “tar babies” remarks aimed directly at President Obama’s policies. In fact, as Rulesville, Mississippi’s civil right activist, the incomparable Fannie Lou Hamer said, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired!” I am so tired that even a gargle of Listerine could not destroy the germicidal effects! Yes, I will continue to defend President Obama from the likes of “tar babies” comments; from the watermelon on the White House lawn cartoons, from the watermelon flavored toothpaste caricatures (See my October 3, 2014 blog post); from the “waving a tar baby in the air” fan; from the disingenuous, “I didn’t mean to offend anyone, I’m sorry” comments! Are you sorry that you said it or sorry that you got caught! Yes, we have a Harvard educated lawyer who is a Black man in the White House. Yes, we have a man who gracefully, charismatically, and intelligently stand up to his many adversaries who are zealously trying to defeat his policies and him! Yes, I am an “Obamanite” and I am woman enough to tell Governor Haley Barbour and the others, “Yes we can!” Yes, I am ready to give you a nonpresidential fight with the rhetoric of words that even you cannot defeat. My pen is mightier than your sword! Remember that our Nobel Peace Prize recipient, our 44th President of this United States was the first Black President of the Harvard Law Review. So, Yes, I am in good presidential and writing company!
Extra, extra; read all about it: credit:

PostHeaderIcon Looking back over the years….

By Vernalee
images pininterest
Yahoo parenting writer Jennifer O, Neill, in her article, “Words you should always say to your kids”, (beyond the no brainer, “I love you”), recommends the following:
1. Tell Toddlers: “Please do…”
2. Tell Preschoolers: “Yes!”
3. Tell Elementary schoolers: “That work really paid off.”
4. Tell tweens: “I hear you.”
5. Ask teens: “What’s your plan?”
More mature in age, I am graciously adding a sixth item. To adult children who “fit the bill,” tell them: “You turned out exactly like I thought! Thank you for being loving and caring children!”In fact, I have learned a great deal from you! A parent’s joy is to see their children be respectful, loving, caring, humble, integitious, successful, good people…! I am blessed! I, as so many of you should count our blessings everyday when we have had a hand in producing good children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and others.
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