Archive for November, 2015

PostHeaderIcon When people show you who they are, believe them!

By Vernalee
imageAdmittedly, I am slow to condemn people. I have always felt that there is good in folks. Why I fail to recognize that good folks can do bad things and bad folks can do good things is beyond my comprehension. Giving folks the benefit of the doubt has always been my forte. Sorry! Silly me! Perhaps, I tend to see the good, not the bad; the successes, not the failures. No matter what cover up process is used, invariably people will show you who they are. It is in their DNA. Well put by Dr. Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them … the first time.” Our making excuses to acknowledge what we see or refuse to see is our cover-up, not theirs! Don’t wait until they do something despicable multiple times. Stop getting your feelings hurt! Injury knows no preference. We can’t say that they didn’t give us a preview. With wide opened eyes, we saw! People may not change their injurious ways, but you and I can stop aiding and abetting them … starting now!
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PostHeaderIcon Tired of people playing games … call Gunsmoke’s Marshall Dillon!

By Vernalee
Shenanigans! Game playing! Aren’t you tired of it! The reference is to those individuals who pose as “innocent” perpetrators, when they are really – liars, cheaters, thieves… They are the best of the worst with their respective low down ways. They will pick your emotional pockets, and ruin your lives if you let them. These so-called unethical chameleons can convincingly tell a lie without blinking an eye. If you want confusion, straight shooters they are! They would unnoticeably fit in at Alcatraz. If they attempted an escape, the sharks would swim in the opposite direction! Seriously! Aren’t you sick of them? It’s eradication time! Wait a minute! Sometimes, we need help. Let’s call in an enforcer. Gunsmoke’s Marshall Matt Dillon would be the first on my dial. Matt doesn’t take no mess! His imposing “6’6” gap leg walk” and no nonsense demeanor could successfully deal with this scheming conniving group. Dillon would rock ‘em up in their boots! Yea! Lock ‘me up Sheriff. Throw away the keys if they continue with their monkeyshine. Now that the job is done, we’ll have a drink with you and Kitty in the saloon! Beers, anyone?
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PostHeaderIcon The Workplace Witch

By Vernalee
The Wizard of Oz is being revived on Broadway with a new rendition being aired on NBC as well. This 1939 MGM movie is a timeless classic and entertaining as it can be watched over and over again without boredom. Though the Wicked Witch of the West is a fictional character from the Wizard of Oz, don’t be surprised if you occasionally see a similar character gallivanting around in your midst on her broomstick. A colleague recently reported a sighting of a Workplace Witch on her job site. She indicated that this wicked witch terrorizes employees with her tactics. Included in her daily antics and mannerism are emotional shouting matches. Belligerent speech spiked with profanity, throwing objects, and degrading insults are typical. The staff routinely gets a break because the Workplace Witch regularly travels to exotic lands while attending expensive seminars. Though broomstick travel would be cheaper and environmentally friendly, she uses Delta Airlines instead. Her broomstick is packed in her Louis Vuitton luggage that she parks at the Ritz Carlton. Her behavior is wildly bizarre and outrageous, but no one “checks” her; perhaps because she is in the executive suite. With such outrageous conduct, for certain she is not a role model for her peers or subordinates! I forgot to mention that there are a few warlocks that she socializes with as well. Wickedness is equally dispersed by both genders. So that the staff can be rescued, they should call Dorothy and her crew from Oz. Despite the fact that the worksite is engulfed with lions, scarecrows, and tin men, (with ” no courage, brains, or hearts“), I really hope that the Scarecrow tags along! Throwing water may do the trick for this Workplace Witch as it did for Dorothy! If she melts and fades away, perhaps the staff will joyously and triumphantly sing as did the Munchkins, “Ding Dong, The Witch is gone!” At least that will stop the Workplace Witch from casting a spell and reappearing somewhere “Over the Rainbow!”
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PostHeaderIcon On / off … People are not gloves!

By Vernalee
You can’t use people like gloves; taking them off and putting them on when it is advantageous. In other words, when you need them, they are the best thing that ever walked the earth. When you don’t need them, they are thrown out like trash. Gloves are accessories. They can cover up blemishes that you don’t want others to see. They protect the hands, keep them warm, shield the spread of germs; and are disposable. Inanimate, they can be taken off and put on at the wearer’s discretion. People are different. Though they can warm, protect, shield, and cover inadequacies, they shouldn’t be treated as disposable objects. You shouldn’t turn them on or off like a light switch. Remember, people can get sick and tired of being used. Once your yo-yo, their string has lost its gravity. Oh my … You now cannot rewind the wrath from the people that you have “used.” In fact, since you had the “upper hand,” you abused and “used” them so much that you “used them up.” Many tried to tell you to curtail your usury of convenience. Now, it’s too late; you learned the hard way! Look! They have taken their gloves off! You will undoubtedly received back what you have given! It has come to past – You will reap what you sowed!
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PostHeaderIcon Shopping … What type of shopper are you?

By Vernalee
Smart shopping requires research, skills, and time. My daughter and I tend to go to a particular shop, purchase the items we desire, and go home. My nieces, however are shopping divas with a skill set that can rival the best. They are the “shop till you drop” ladies. They can dig up a pricey Saks Fifth Avenue designer suit at a bargain warehouse for such a ridiculous price that it is laudable. Their finds leave you speechless! I don’t know if they have telescopic vision, but they know where all the sales are including the moment of their occurrence. Finding the “blue light” sales is their specialty as they emerge into one or several of the smart shoppers categories below:
1. The Bargain Hunter – Gets the best price.
2. The Impulse Buyer – Acts quickly to snag a deal.
3. The Loyalist – Uses rewards to save big.
4. The Researcher – Compares every offer.
5. The Negotiator – Always haggles.
6. The Shopper on a mission – Plans strategically.
To my nieces, I am recommending that you set up a personal shopping business. You will make a mint. Use your skills to shop for others and make big money doing the one thing that you love – shopping! Cha Ching!
Photo credit:; Illustration by Aimee Camilien; Source: Essence Magazine

PostHeaderIcon 14 Bible Verses for Small Business Owners

By Vernalee
Being in business is challenging. Being a Christian small business owner is more challenging. You are faced with daily situations that challenge your faith. Thus, the following 14 Bible Verses according to small business expert, Melinda Emerson are ones that we as Christian entrepreneurs should read and keep handy.
Philippians 3:13-14 NIV Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Deuteronomy 8:18 NIV But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.
1 Peter 4:10 NIV Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
2 Corinthians 13:5-6 NIV Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test.
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Isaiah 45:2 NIV I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.
Joshua 1:9 NIV Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Mark 5:36 NIV Overhearing what they said, Jesus told them, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
1 Peter 5:8 NIV Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
3 John 1:2 NIV Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.
Proverbs 2:6-8 NIV For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Proverbs 29:11 NIV Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Watch your temper!
Romans 8:5 NIV Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
Ephesians 6:12 NIV For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Keep in mind that God gives us the abilities and knowledge to make smart business decisions that can produce successful outcomes. We must keep examining our actions so that we employ wisdom, integrity, and honesty in our business decisions. Yes, God’s Word is the best guide! Happy Sunday! God bless!
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PostHeaderIcon He who has the gold rules!

By Vernalee
imageIt is an undisputed fact that “he who has the gold rules and makes the rules.” The street vernacular provides many equivalent versions. “Money talks; Either you give the orders or you take them.” Gold equates to money and money gives power. Power and resources should be used wisely. Humility and integrity go a long way. All can be taken away in a jack flash minute. Then you will be on the same plateau as the people who you once ruled. Imagine that! That is why it is important when you make the gold to follow the golden rule – “do unto others as you would like done to you.”
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PostHeaderIcon Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!

By Vernalee
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I would not in a million years have thought that the person in question could be that ruthless or sinister. He didn’t look like he would hurt a fly. How many times must we be reminded that looks are deceiving? So when I heard of the betrayal, I was flabbergasted; speechless to be exact! What hypocrisy! Why was I startled? Jesus was betrayed by one who was within his midst! Some folks asked, “How did she allow this to happen?” Not me; that question never entered my mind! I know how closeness facilitates the removal of one’s inner fence. We let our guards down with folks that we feel that we can trust; people that we feel are 100% loyal and are on our side! After all, they are our close friends, confidantes; in some cases lovers. Those are the ones who become razor thin close; too close for comfort. Down comes our barriers and protective shields. “Familiarity does breed contempt.” It is easy to throw caution to the wind when you think that your friend is committed to your well being. Friends, they are not! In fact, they need to be thrown out of your circle. As the saying goes, “Know your circle. Know who’s in your boat. If they are drilling holes and not rowing, your boat will sink!” Forget letting them in. Activate the alarm if they come too close to the circumference. Don’t become easy prey; “in range” target practice for the ill-intended. Don’t mourn the loss of so- called friends; celebrate the fact that you identified who they were. It’s annihilation time! It is imperative that we “reboot; that we keep our guards up.” We must daily wear our weighty protective gear, though heavy it becomes! We must keep our friends close and our enemies closer. Regretful, it is when there is difficulty in discerning who’s who. At least, we have vision of both!
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PostHeaderIcon The Cost of Secret Love!

By Vernalee
Many songs have been written about affairs. From Hank Williams singing “Your Cheating Heart” to Dolly Parton begging “Jolene” to leave her man alone, affairs present complicated scenarios. Ducking, dodging, and hiding are inherent to the game. As some calculated and scary risks are taken, the escalation continues “at the dark end of the street…where they (the couple) always meet…” as singer Percy Sledge’s so rhythmically harmonized. Moving away from the words put to music, here is the abbreviated cost. According to recent surveys, the average affair costs $444 a month for a typical rendezvous. The cost consists of hotel bills, dinner / drinks, gifts, and dating activities. This amount does not include the relationship’s “maintenance” cost inclusive of secret cell phones / credit cards, airline tickets, and other miscellaneous expenses. The referenced abbreviated cost also does not factor in income variances for the high rollers. The $120 hotel daily room charge could be $700 for a suite if the purse strings allow. The price for secrecy can certainly sky rocket. So when the melodic Billy Paul sings, “Me and Mrs. Jones got a thing going on as they meet every day at the same café,” their secret rendezvous costs more than “the pair of boots under her bed” that country singer Shania Twain referenced that weren’t hers!
lipstick shirtAll kidding and poetic lyrics aside, for certain, financially, cheating is expensive, but the emotional trauma is equally riveting. Lip stick on his collar and the smell of perfume may be your least worry. Monitoring, or shall I say scooping around, to see who’s who on their Instagram and FaceBook pages are common time consuming tasks. He / she who looks, shall find! Installing a GPS device to track their cheating dirt is for the birds, but everything depends on where you sit! Tracking a slick cheater is tantamount to a part time job. Whew! What happens when the suspicions become the truth? What happens when the lies catch up and the cheater is caught red handed? Violations of trust, lies, secrecies, guilt … all take their toll. Lives are damaged; friendships are compromised; family life is altered. Starting over is tough, but a person must do what is needed if he / she wants to save their relationship, be reconnected as a couple, and preserve what they have built. For certain, there are associated and measurable costs of infidelity that may last after the cheating / affair is over. Sometimes, it may be too late; the damage may be too steep. Walking away may be the only solution. Thus, it is important to think before you walk in to meet your secret lover. Walking out is more than footsteps. It’s complicated! When it is over, your rebuild to “stay with the one you want” occurs one step at a time; baby steps at that! Forgiving, forgetting, erasing the memories … well that’s another subject!
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PostHeaderIcon Cheating – will wipe you out … in more ways than one!

By Vernalee
Most likely, everyone has witnessed the devastation of cheating and the morning after sickness that lingers. Two is not better than one in relationships! Have you ever cheated or had someone cheat on you? Shhh! Don’t answer; it may be incriminating! How do you calculate the cost of cheating and affairs? The topic is a hard one to examine or discuss, but it is alive and kicking! Alright, pull out your calculator; it’s time to add! Cheating usually comes with an itemized list and a expensive price tag. It encompasses more than just money. There is also a steep emotional price. Hmm. I wonder will you ever trust again? Think about this! Cheating affects more than you and your mate; a lineup of family and friends are involved in the scandal.
After adding in the intangibles such as – humiliation, embarrassment, betrayals, guilt, pain, forgiveness or lack thereof, traces of fractured memories that never fade….and other residue of the moments when the wedding ring came off – the cost is insurmountable. It is infinite. If in the process, an embryo is created or a home is wrecked ending in divorce, the mounting cost leaves the scientific realms of calculations and is transplanted directly into the hearts of the afflicted. The sting of pain is amazing; it can be sometimes implanted forever and a day. There is simply no erasing of things that cannot be eliminated. So before the final calculation is presented (because with extramarital affairs there is always a price to pay whether you are caught or not), let’s examine the accompanying mountainous debt. Lest not forget those unmarried companions who have been in long termed committed relationships. Should there be any covenants of expectations? Surely, anyone’s heart would bleed if the person that they have been seeing and faithful to – is cheating behind their back. It’s only human; don’t you think? Remember this: Stop thinking of cheating in terms of sex – only! Cheating comes in other forms of inappropriate actions. The list (secretive dates, flirty social media exchanges) is too extensive, but I know that you get the picture; the landscape for sure isn’t foreign! Tune in tomorrow for a wrap! See ya!
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