Archive for January, 2016


By Vernalee
Without question, there are certain qualities that good men possess. The above chart outlines many admirable and needed traits. Every woman likely has a list that make up her specifications. Generic traits – love, caring, compassion, etc. – will appear on most women’s list. Does he financially provide for you; look out for you; catch you if you fall? Is he there for you through thick and thin? Are you included or just informed of significant decisions? Does he romantically please you? Is his reference of the relationship, a “he” or a “we?” The list can go on for days and vary based upon individuality, age, and other factors. Bottom line: If he isn’t a good man or what you want or need, some man is! The less time you waste on an investment that will never pay off, the more time you will have to hit the jackpot elsewhere. Recognize the signs and convince if you must, your heart to follow your mind!
Photo credit:


By Vernalee
Thriving business; fantastic career; big house; new car; extravagant jewelry / clothes, lavish vacations …..all are sought after forms of materialism!
Sounds good! Oh yes! But what happens to your psyche when someone has more of them than you? Are you truly happy for them or are you jealous? Do you really like to see people do good or do you resent it particularly when they are doing better than you? That thin line is very telling. It puts more visible definition to you than you think! Either you will show delight, joy, regret, envy, or resentment …. when you observe others succeed. If you are resentful, you wallow in your own misery. Misery loves company; does it not? This comparative analysis is too time consuming when your time could be better spent elsewhere. Watch it! Stop becoming so wrapped up in others. Don’t become trapped in someone else’s glory; enjoy the splendor of your own. Stay focused on mapping your path! I’m sorry! It seems like there is still a noticeable twinge of jealousy and abundant envy circulating in your space? Move on! Jealousy is not a good utilization of your time; you end up spending more time on others – than yourself! What a waste! Get out of the equalization mode and realize / achieve your greatness! Work hard! You too can have your deserved portion. Remember what you see externally may not reflect the internal self. Realign your priorities and thinking! Put your time to good use! The time that you spend looking at other folks’ stuff … could be better utilized toward acquiring your own! Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses! Don’t worry (about theirs); be happy (about yours)!
Photo credit:

PostHeaderIcon THE “S” WORD

By Vernalee
heather on her
The “S” word – after all these years – I dread hearing and worst yet, seeing it! Snow, snow, and more snow! Welcome to winter wonderland! Despite the mild temperatures that we recently had, Winter is now in full bloom. Hello! Accompanied by swift blowing winds and frigid cold temperatures, falling snow has arrived! Those tiny white crystal flakes (marvelously made where no two flakes are the same) have fallen from the sky and lined our pathways…as expected, once again! It’s a yearly ritual. A glimpse out of your window shows piles of mountainous white stacks of those flakes as far as your eyes can see. Snow is everywhere. Lest not forget the ice sickles! Soon, I will be watching kids play in the snow. They build snowmen, slid down the slippery slopes and roll in the snow’s glistening whiteness; all in the name of fun! Some folks cannot wait for the ski slopes to be covered with those white glory of flakes … and a gliding they will go! Here’s the verbal side. When your morning is consumed by listening to NBC’s Weatherman Al Roker tell you how many inches will fall in “your neck of the woods,” it’s too much! It takes me over the edge!
I need not be reminded of the white flakes. We have never been on friendly terms! Driving in it can be challenging; sliding, swerving, gliding everywhere. A normal 30 minute commute can easily become a 2 hour journey with the accumulation of that rapidly falling “white stuff.” Snow can bring traffic to a squealing halt; as it recently did in Cleveland, Ohio! Need I remind those who were stuck in it … here, there and everywhere! Going out of your door requires planned preparation. Included in this exit amongst other things are – shoveling your pathway / driveway; layering your body with tons of clothing to keep warm (aw shucks, I forgot my gloves again); keeping a survival kit in your vehicle; need I say more!
For those lovers of cold weather and snow flakes, don’t take this the wrong way. You can stay in the chill! Enjoy! As for me, I am looking for a warm retreat. Perhaps, the glaring sun of my native Mississippi spoiled me! That’s my reason … and I’m sticking to it!
Photo credit:


By Vernalee
On this day as we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, I reflect. Although as a people, we have made progress, there is so much more work to do as we live in a world where noted prejudices, particularly on color and race remain vibrant. We must continue our strides to respect people as God created all mankind to be equal. Today, on the only national holiday that honors a Black man, let’s stroll back in history to 1963. Let’s hear his dream!
Before an audience of over 250, 000 people from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King delivered his famous “I have a dream” speech which was unequivocally one of the most defining moments of the Civil Rights Movement. Thank you Dr. King for opening the doors for me and others! We have to “keep on a walking, keep on a talking, marching up to freedom land!”
“So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire; let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York; let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania; let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado; let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California. But not only that. Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia; let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee; let freedom ring from every hill and mole hill of Mississippi. “From every mountainside, let freedom ring.”
And when this happens, and when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: “Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.”
Photo reprint: (Excerpts from Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech, August 28, 1963, March on Washington). “WE SHALL OVERCOME ONE DAY!”

Though lengthy, the below information provides some interesting and historical facts about Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

Official program
Marian Anderson was scheduled to lead the National Anthem but was unable to arrive on time; Camilla Williams performed in her place. Following an invocation by Archbishop Patrick O’Boyle, the opening remarks were given by march director A. Philip Randolph, followed by Eugene Carson Blake. A tribute to “Negro Women Fighters for Freedom” was then led by Bayard Rustin, at which Daisy Bates spoke briefly in place of Myrlie Evers, who had missed her flight. The tribute introduced Daisy Bates, Diane Nash, Prince E. Lee, Rosa Parks, and Gloria Richardson. The following speakers were SNCC chairman John Lewis, labor leader Walter Reuther and CORE chairman Floyd McKissick(substituting for arrested CORE director James Farmer). The Eva Jessye Choir then sang, and Rabbi Uri Miller (president of the Synagogue Council of America) offered a prayer, followed by National Urban League director Whitney Young, NCCIJ director Mathew Ahmann, and NAACP leader Roy Wilkins. After a performance by singer Mahalia Jackson, American Jewish Congress president Joachim Prinz spoke, followed by SCLC president Martin Luther King, Jr. Rustin then read the march’s official demands for the crowd’s approval, and Randolph led the crowd in a pledge to continue working for the march’s goals. The program was closed with a benediction by Morehouse College president Benjamin Mays.

The focus on “I have a dream” comes through the speech’s delivery. Toward the end of its delivery, noted African American gospel singer Mahalia Jackson shouted to King from the crowd, “Tell them about the dream, Martin.”[ King stopped delivering his prepared speech, and started “preaching”, punctuating his points with “I have a dream.”

Gospel legend Mahalia Jackson sang “How I Got Over”, and Marian Anderson sang “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”. Joan Baez led the crowds in several verses of “We Shall Overcome” and “Oh Freedom”. Musician Bob Dylan performed “When the Ship Comes In”, for which he was joined by Baez. Dylan also performed “Only a Pawn in Their Game.”Peter, Paul and Mary sang “If I Had a Hammer” and Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind”. Odetta sang “I’m On My Way.”

The event was officially titled the “March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous “I Have a Dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial.

The march was organized by the “Big Six” leaders of the civil rights movement: A. Philip Randolph, Whitney M. Young, Jr., Martin Luther King, Jr., James Farmer, Roy Wilkins, and John Lewis. Bayard Rustin was chief organizer of the march.

Between 200,000 and 250,000 Americans, mostly African-Americans, but including thousands of whites, held the march in order to focus attention on blacks’ demands for immediate equality in jobs and civil rights.

The marchers were entertained by celebrities, including Ossie Davis, Joan Baez, Bobby Darin, Odetta, Bob Dylan, Peter, Paul and Mary, and Jackie Robinson. Other celebrities who were present included actors Marlon Brando, Charlton Heston, Harry Belafonte,Burt Lancaster, Paul Newman, Diahann Carroll, Lena Horne, Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis, Jr., and writer James Baldwin.

Law enforcement included 5,000 police, National Guardsmen and Army reservists. No marchers were arrested and no incidents concerning marchers were reported.

Ten leaders of the civil rights march met with President John F. Kennedy, Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Labor Secretary W. Willard Wirtz, and Burke Marshall, head of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division, in the cabinet room of the White House during the demonstration.

The leaders were:
-A. Philip Randolph, director of the march
-Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference
-Roy Wilkins, executive secretary of the NAACP
-Whitney M. Young Jr., executive director of the National Urban League
-Walter P. Reuther, president of the AFL-CIO United Automobile Workers
-Reverend Eugene Carson Blake, Stated Clerk of the United Presbyterian Church in U.S.A. and a representative of the National Council of Churches
-Rabbi Joachim Prinz, chairman of the American Jewish Congress
-John Lewis, chairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee
-Matthew Ahmann, executive director of the National Catholic Conference for Interracial Justice
-Floyd B. McKissick, national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE).

Original copy of the speech
As King waved goodbye to the audience, he handed George Raveling the original typewritten “I Have a Dream” speech. Raveling, an all-American basketball player from Villanova, had volunteered as a security guard for the event and was on the podium with King at that moment. Raveling still has custody of the original copy and has been offered as high as $3,000,000 for it, but claims to have no intention of selling it, with plans on leaving it to his children instead.


By Vernalee
Without question, life and living are not without troubles or its accomplice, worry. Sooner or later, they walk through your door. Sometimes we worry about issues that do not directly concern us, but if they affect people that we love, they naturally becomes an extension of our lives. Flowers, particularly roses can be calming / soothing. Although they don’t wash our troubles away, roses brighten up our space. They are such beautiful flowers and come in an assortment of colors. Often, I think that roses, particularly red ones, have magical powers. A dozen delivered to my door can heal emotional wounds and bring instant joy and jubilation. A delivery of two dozen once made me jump through hoops. To its recipient, roses show thoughtfulness from the giver. They can definitely liven up your day and spirits with their fragrant delight. As beautiful and fragrant as roses are, rose bushes have thorns. The piercing of a thorn against our skin hurts. When that happens, we have God’s healing hands to give us relief. Sure, life is not a bed of roses, but thank God for his mercy, love, grace, protection, and covering. Thank God for continuing the breathe of life in us and our loved ones. Thank God for a tomorrow! As we feel the smooth petals, smell the fragrant scent, and adore the beauty of red roses, we can digest God’s words and take in the beauty of his garden of life that is filled with many flowers along with life’s varied assets. As we stand, sit, and walk in God’s rose garden, we are provided with all of the necessities that we need in this life. Oh yes, we are truly blessed! James 1:12 tells us – Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. Happy Sunday!
Photo credit:


By Vernalee
When someone has you eating out of their hand, it means that you would do exactly what they ask you to do; no questions asked. It is a mind controlled thing whereby manipulation is often involved. Some of us may deny it; but many of us have been there at some point in our lives. Perhaps, no one is immune. Charismatic people, those that we love, or those that we want to be loved by – are the best candidates to feed us this nonexistent food. It’s a feeling; a strong feeling at that. It usually is a mind controlled thing. It has happened to the best of us despite our strong will. Love and being in love will do it! My words not yours. So when the aura in the atmospheric love zone compel you to ask “What’s for dinner?” … do know that you have metaphorically arrived and landed in the palm of someone’s hands!
Photo credit:

PostHeaderIcon MESSY FOLKS

By Vernalee
fight -
Messy people; you know them! They are in our families, in our churches, in our offices, and amongst our colleagues, associates, and friends! They angrily walk around like roaring lions, often times inconspicuously, stirring up “Tower of Babel” types of confusion. When they enter the picture, they become royal troublemakers. They incite people to disagree, argue, and fight because messy people are balls of “mess!” They strike a match, set a fire, and walk away with their targets figuratively on fire. They sometimes display an innocent face after they have caused a truckload of damage. Stop! No worries to the victims. Messy folks either eventually get burned, get caught, or get knocked out with a Muhammad Ali Thriller in Manila punch from one of their countless adversaries. Bam! Stop thinking that they go unpunished. The naked eyes does not see all. Funny thing, it never fails! The people that they hurt along the way may get a chance to see Mr. or Mrs. Messy being used for target practice. Bulls’ eye! Reverse victimization is brutal, isn’t it? In fact, it is a mess! It may be a form of gratification when the victors, who were formerly victims, walk by and utter, Mr. / Mrs. Messy, “That’s what you get; what’s goes around, comes around!” When that happens, however, you must keep on stepping because you don’t want to get the germination of any of their mess on your hands!
Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon Is the glass half empty or half full?

By Vernalee
201208-omag-quiz-half-empty-glass-600x411 www.oprah.comIs the glass half empty or half full? Actually, it is both! Visually, it is how you look at it. Being that I am an optimistic person, I have always seen the glass half full. Positive thinking embraces me sometimes to a fault, but who wants to be negative? Fullness and emptiness represent opposite connotations. A positive frame of mind can jumpstart your thoughts. Just as you are what you eat; you are what you think. “For as one thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7
Photo reprint:

PostHeaderIcon In terms of people – there are three types

By Vernalee
imageYesterday, we explored the notion that there are basically Three Types of Friends. Today, let’s look at the general classifications of people. Once again, there is a relegation of Three Basic Types of People. As people, we are driven toward classifying any and all things. We often use the number three as a variable; a benchmark. Three things are easy to remember. We can memorize and recite those off the top of our heads. The number three symbolizes a harmony that includes and synthesizes two opposites. Therefore, let me share the widely accepted categories given to the types of people and of course, there are three!
1. First, there are people who make things happen. Then there are people who watch things happen. Lastly, there are people who ask, what happened?
2. There are Givers, Takers, And Matchers with the most successful and least successful being Givers.
3. There are those who helped you, left you, and put you in difficult times.
Three basic types in three primary categories essentially boil down to one thing – Who will be by our side and unconditionally love us through our ups and downs; through thick and thin?
Like magnets, we naturally attract to us the type of individuals similar to us. So, it begs to ask, “who are we?” What category best describes us? It takes one to know one! Turn the mirror to you. Look beyond others; look at ourselves. When and will we fix what is broken on us? Do we acknowledge our deficiencies? It is easier to change us than others!
Thank goodness, we have more than 3 times to get it right … as we realize that all missteps in the wrong direction may cost us…probably more than thrice.
Photo credit:

PostHeaderIcon Three Types of Friends …

By Vernalee
There have been a number of theories and quotes on the types of friends who walk through our life. For me, the version that hit the nail on the head is outlined in Bishop T. D. Jakes’ sermon on “3 Types of Friends.” I had the opportunity to watch this 8 minute video. Bishop Jakes called them, “Confidants, constituents, and comrades.” The confidants are people who are for you. Your confidants love you unconditionally. Confidants weep with you, rejoice with you, and are happy for you….Confidants will make sure that you reach your destiny. Your constituents are for what you are for; while your comrades are against what you are against. Jakes cautions us to not confuse the groups, because constituents and comrades will leave you! The latter two are joined to an external interest / issue of yours, but not you per se. If you have two or three confidants in your lifetime, you are blessed! I thank God for giving me the wisdom to discern that a diamond is coal first! There have been times that I have been wrong and erroneously classified who was who in my life! It happens to the best of us! We can be fooled because people can theatrically show synthetic traits and make them appear genuine and real. I am not technologically savvy enough to embed in this blog post the video (Bishop T.D. Jakes – Three Types of Friends) for your viewing, but a google of same is well worth the watch! It’s important to know who’s who in your life! Recognizing and discerning them are critical steps in this identification process.
Photo credit:

Receive our Blog in your Inbox

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Stuff We Talk About on Twitter