Archive for March, 2016


By Vernalee
things people are
Discretion should be the guide that determines what we expose. Guarding what we choose to reveal and what we keep confidential is pivotal to determining outcomes. Without question, it is a known fact that our small tongue can cause monumental problems when the wrong thing is said to the wrong person at the wrong time. Said differently, it can be dangerous to air our dirty laundry in public. Why hang your “dirt” out for everybody to see? To air your dirty laundry means to openly talk about things (usually a problem or dispute) that should be kept private. Discussing and revealing private issues amongst others that are not involved is unwise. “Your dirty laundry” (dirty secrets) should be kept out of sight when people are visiting; otherwise, it could be embarrassing for you, others, or them. There are many concerns and tons of information that need not become public. Once it is released from your lips, it cannot be retracted. As the old folks in Mississippi sitting on their screened in porches gossiping and drinking lemonade would say, “You best know who you’re talking to. Don’t let folks know what’s going on in your house coz they will barge in. As for who you tell what to – all we can say is that “thang” over there … can’t hold water. Don’t tell her your business if you don’t want it out in the streets.” Listen to me my old folks! As a child, I thought that you didn’t know what you were talking about. Now, I see how wise you were and why you hung your laundry up in the dark!
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By Vernalee
Hold on! Wait a minute! Give me some time to catch up. There is only so much that I can do in a day. I only have two hands. You may think differently, but it is a biological fact. For most of us, multitasking becomes a necessity at home and at work. Being a Jack or Jill of All Trades who can do – a little bit of this and a little bit of that – helps. Versatility is the name of the game. If you cannot walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, you are in trouble. It is wise to analyze tasks and determine an approach before you get started. By doing so, you will be provided with options, techniques, and time savers. Becoming more tech savvy is a critical necessity. Technology and its gadgets have simplified many functions. They have made us “Working Wonders.” It adds more horsepower which fuels our levels of expertise, efficiency, and organization. Tasks that once took days now only take minutes. Proficiently is the name of the game. The more time that I can save on tasks; the more time I have for myself. It’s just that – plain and simple. So watch me intelligently and efficiently work; then, watch me comfortably and enjoyably relax!
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By Vernalee
I’m sure that many of you know what’s it is like to be placed on the back burner. It’s not a good position or feeling. By sheer definition, being placed on the back burner means that there has been a temporary deferment of some sort. For certain, you have not been given high priority. In fact, you are in a low priority status. Being relegated to the back burner assures that you will not receive immediate attention. Essentially, you are being put out of the way; out of sight, out of mind. Furthering the definition, the back burner signifies other tidbits including that you are of relatively little importance; and that there has been a postponement of consideration for you and your issues. Simply stated, it’s a state of inertia. Let’s look at the front burner. Unequivocally, the pots on the front burners receive the most attention, are readily visible & accessible, and are stirred more often. I am here today to give anyone a shout out who cares to listen. This message may serve you well and take you further. If you don’t like or agree with where you have been placed, speak up! Refuse to be the back burner person. Demand respect. It’s up front or nothing at all. Stop letting people deal with you when they feel like it. What about you and your feelings? History has taught us too many valuable lessons to ignore. Rosa refused to sit at the back of the bus. She ignited the civil rights movement and changed the world. Your refusal to be the low man or woman on the totem pole may influence your placement the next go around once the people who placed you in the rear find out that you can start a blazing inferno from the back row. It may be to their advantage to give you priority seating because your fire will be easier to extinguish up front. To those decision makers who determine position, listen up; take heed! Don’t learn these essential basic facts – the hard way! You might get burned!
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By Vernalee
Words, words, words! As a writer, I love words. I love the sounds and the “sexiness” of them. Beautiful sounding words excite me! Integrating, exploring and using words of all types is my cup of tea. I can still remember my Elementary English teacher drills on antonyms, synonyms and homonyms. You were not graduating from her class dumb! Word particularly homonyms can be tricky because they sound the same, but have different spellings and meanings. You have to catch yourself to make sure that your usage is right. Test your skills as I provide you with 17 Words that are commonly used incorrectly. Here they are:
1. Its and It’s
2. Aide and Aid
3. Effect and Affect
4. Altar and Alter
5. Principal and Principle
6. Bawling and Balling
7. Bare and Bear
8. Pique and Peak
9. Capitol and Capital
10. Canvass and Canvas
11. Compliment and Complement
12. Stationary and Stationery
13. Vain and Vein
14. Incite and Insight
15. Hangar and Hanger
16. Lightning and Lightening
17. Overdue and Overdo
How many do you misuse? The answer may be surprising. Let us not forget other ones that I can add to the list that are regularly and improperly used including:
18. There and Their;
19. Your and You’re; and
20. To, Too, and Two.
Twenty is such a good number. Anyway, how did you fare with this inventory of commonly misused words? Did you pass or fail? How many times did you have to look up their definitions in the dictionary? How many words have you used incorrectly and out of context? I confess! I opened the dictionary to check some of these words a few times myself. No worries, being right always beats being wrong!
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By Vernalee
Easter Sunday is here! The parade of pastel color suits, Easter baskets, the Easter Bunny, Easter eggs, and jellybeans are everywhere! Dressed to the hilts, everyone is decked out for Easter church service and programs. But today is much more than that. It is Resurrection Sunday. It is the day that we celebrate Jesus Christ rising from the dead; the day that he offered his life for the forgiveness of our sins; the day that gives us the gift of eternal life. The resurrection of Jesus is noted in many bible verses including Luke 24:2-3; 1 Corinthians 15:12-19; John 11:25-26; Peter 1:3-4; Acts 24: 16,21; Acts 4:33; and Matthew 27: 52-54. Jesus paid the price for our sins. As John 3:16 tells us, “God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” What a mighty God we serve! His grace, love, mercy, compassion – are far reaching. Today and everyday, we should praise him in worship; in song; in all things! Our Blessed Savior; He’s worthy to be praised!
Happy Easter!
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By Vernalee

Sticky notes on a cork board

Sticky notes on a cork board

Are there ever enough hours in a day? Yes, it’s how you manage your time! Time is one of those intangibles that we cannot control. All of my days, except Sunday (a day of worship) are beginning to look alike. Hmm! Either, I am overworked or work too much. Flip a coin! It doesn’t matter whether it lands on heads or tails. The net results or my daily tasks don’t change. In an interesting dialogue yesterday, I said to my son, “I’m so behind.” Normally, I complain about my load to others. My son in sheer amazement answered, “What? You’re so organized and efficient. You’re always on top of things!” He was innocently surprised! Thank you my son for your kind words and compliments, but looks are so deceiving. Admittedly, to the average eye, I may look like the duck that effortlessly glides on the water, but if you screen shot my feet underneath, I am peddling and kicking up a storm to stay afloat. My days are consumed with mountain high “Things to do Lists” and post it notes. Wow, I wish that I had invented those colorful adhesive pads that I use to organize my days and remind me of tasks / activities. So today, let’s see what my list and post it notes have outlined. I may decide to let the sticky-notes stay put, rest in, and do nothing. That’s the beauty of choice. God willing; What I don’t finish today, I’ll do tomorrow. It’s a balancing act – Work hard, play hard, enjoy life! I’ll post my decision on a pink sticky note as to whether I decide to work, play, or rest … Stay tuned!
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By Vernalee
Do you want to make some extra money? The answer is probably yes. Let’s go hunting around your house for items that we can translate into dollars. Here’s the list:
20 Hidden Sources of Income:
1. Clothing
2. Designer Shoes & Handbags
3. Jewelry
4. Computers
5. Cell phones
6. Gift Cards
7. Books
8. Children’s Toys
9. Collectible Dolls
10. Furniture
11. Musical Instruments
12. Sporting Goods
13. Sports Memorabilia
14. Antiques
15. Artwork
16. China set
17. Silver
18. Savings Bonds
19. Appliance Parts
20. Video Games.
Now comes the hard part; the challenge. What do you part with; what do you keep for old times sake; what do you sell? The sentimental value of it all… This is not an easy task! My family’s collection of cell phones alone would make me a small fortune. My thought – they will probably be more valuable in a year or two. Oh my! I can’t decide, so I’ll hold on to them for now. This is logical thinking, right? This cognitive deduction is why my children and my antiquated cell phones of old (and pagers, remember those) are still lying around the house occupying precious space and collecting dust! Moving on, I will consult with my adult children (who left the nest many moons ago) on moving the other items. The two of them are great thinkers! Maybe, they can help me declutter. I’ll even give them the cash proceeds. So I asked and they responded. “C’mon Mommy, you can’t possibly sell our Nintendo games, Barbie dolls, xylophone, cell phones, bobble heads, baseball gloves, leather jackets, rocking chair, sewing machine, air brush machine, prom dresses, baseball caps, roller skates, skate boards, footballs, art kits, books, or our first computer. We know that it is a lot, but these items have historical significance; these items have collectible memories for us. Just keep them neatly stored in our closets! Certainly, you can find somewhere in your big house to put your stuff and hang your clothes. When you run out of space, you can always use the garage for extra storage space.” There you have it! See what bringing other folks into your decision making does!
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By Vernalee
Confucius said, “Choose what you like to do and you’ll never work a day in your life.” With that quote in mind, do you like what you do? Or is it a job that just pays the bill? Do you dread going to your office? Or do you wake excited to finish incomplete assignments? Liking / enjoying what you do is important. Your success, financial renumeration, work / personal life balance and other intricate determinants to your satisfaction may depend upon it.
In your quest, consider these simple steps.
1. Determine what you really want. What qualities and values are most important right now?
2. Choose that. Ask for it. Move toward it. Assume you deserve to get it.
3. Commit wholeheartedly. Determine what stands in your way.
Stop doing what you hate. Recognize that you have choices. Don’t wait until somebody makes it for you.
You deserve more for yourself than to do something that you dislike or be stuck where you care not to be – job, environment, staff, otherwise. Take inventory; make wise choices; chase your dreams; be determined – you can do it! “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face,” but find what you like to do and go for it! You’ll be happy that you did!
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PostHeaderIcon THE ANSWER IS NO!

By Vernalee
Nothing shows maturity than the ability to say No particularly to the amazed audacity of those who feel that you should never utter that two letter word, at least not to them. No – is a very powerful word. I am using it more and more these day. Maybe, it means that I have arrived! Maybe, it means that I have the confidence to no longer be a “Yes woman.” Or perhaps it means that I now have the courage to say to some and profess to others … my ability to let no one make my decisions, control my destiny, tell me what to do, or put words in my mouth. I no longer have to “go along to get along.” Admittedly, the words – yes and no – are options. They provide cognitive and legitimate choices. Yes, I no longer have to say yes when in my heart, I really mean no. Unlike the person of old, I now say what I really mean and feel, sometimes diplomatically but nevertheless, the No word escapes my lips more often than not! Jeepers creepers! It’s a great feeling to go against the currents of someone else’s waves when you can rightfully and legitimately make up your mind and wade through the waters yourself. Be wise, smart, strategic, and honest. Say what you mean; mean what you say. Let your yes’s mean yes; your no’s, no. Saying no – should mean that you studied the consequences and weighed the ramifications of your response. If the answer no is the right cognitive choice, you should be able to rest your laurels on your decision; you should be able to defend your choice. No, no, no … should mean that you can rationalize your stand. The word should not be taken for granted. There are consequences when it is used incorrectly and correctly for that fact. Beware. That small two letter word is extraordinarily powerful. Correctly used, it can in fact be downright empowering, refreshing, and stimulating. It’s a beautiful thing! Try it! I guarantee that you will agree and like the fluidity of your words and the throne from which you sit. If you don’t like my advice, guess what. You can tell me No and to mind my own my business! It’s your prerogative! You get the point right!
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By Vernalee
imageHow much extra weight are you carrying around? Most people may refuse to answer! Alright, I’m not referring to those pounds around your waistline. I’m referring to those other intangible weighty issues. Not only are they extra pounds; some contain toxicity; others, need to be removed. Here’s a clicker! How many pounds are on your back that belong to someone else? While you are carrying their weight, they are running around carefree! Admit it! Those pounds – yours and theirs – become a heavy 25 pound ball and chain around your feet or an albatross around your neck. Did I mention their burdensomeness? Why is it hard to disconnect and let go? Do we let our past infractions become present issues? It’s too much! There’s extra weight at home, on the job, in relationships … The load can become tremendously heavy. In order to ease the weight and drop those pounds, it is imperative that you physically, mentally, and emotionally – let go! You have to relieve yourself of the pressures that accompanies the weight or you’ll sink. You must take the weight off of your back! Occasionally, it is mind over matter. The mental exhaustion has the capacity to weigh on you as much as the physical pounds. Need I mention the stress and its companions. Not only is stress weighty, it is difficult to remove. However, you must remove it before it conquers you. Try! Put forth a Herculean effort. It’s challenging and continuous. It’s our responsibility. Shed the weight; work on removing emotional pressurized points; exercise your way back to a balanced point of view. Your mental and physical movements will become less restrained. Once you make these moves, you will feel lighter and better. Your back will certainly thank you. Your mind will jump for joy! You will be refreshed! Guaranteed!
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