Archive for June, 2017


By Vernalee

...for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh . --Matthew 12:34 KJV Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.   --Proverbs 21:23 KJV

…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh .
–Matthew 12:34 KJV
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
–Proverbs 21:23 KJV

“A still tongue makes a wise head” refers to a person who only speak when it has been determined that it is appropriate to do so.
They are not chatter boxes and are wise enough to not just say whatever comes to mind.
It validates the theory that if one is cautious with their speech, and listens instead, he/she exercises control which in turn reflects their display of solid experience, keen knowledge, and good judgement.
A still tongue serves to protect and guard against unnecessary queries. Besides … Who asked for your opinion?
Who asked you to stick your nose into their business?
If they wanted your viewpoints, they would have asked. Right?
You see here lies the problem. If people mind their own business, the world would be a better place; less confusion for sure.
Allow me to “Vernalize” this thought.
Walk with me.
Once again, I say – Stay in your own lane and out of other folks’ business! Guard your thoughts; guard your tongue.
Be selective about what words come out of your mouth.
Besides, who has the time or energies to host someone else’s mess!
Proverbs 17:28 provides wise advice:
“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
and discerning if they hold their tongues.”
It will behoove us to do just that!
Did I hear, “The cat got your tongue.”
For some, the perpetual chatter boxes and nosey roseys – that’s a good thing!
Silence can be golden!
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By Vernalee
Are you a priority or an option?
The late great Maya Angelou gave us lasting wise advice. “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
Priority is defined as being regarded as more important than another;
the fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important;
the right to take precedence or to proceed before others.
Option is defined as the opportunity or ability to choose something or to choose between two or more things; something that can be chosen: a choice or possibility.
By definition, it goes without asking. Would you rather be regarded as highly important or a mere possibility?
Do you want to be relegated to the back of the line in terms of what’s important to the person that you have made highly important?
Maybe the play on words here are tongue twisters, but they are accurate statements of facts.
It doesn’t add up – mathematically, logically, or realistically.
Simply stated, it is not wise to make someone first in your life when you are just a number in theirs!
Let’s take it a step further.
Granted you’re not first, but thinking that you are in second place may be just your optimism.
In fact, you don’t know where you stand!
Truthfully, when you rank behind everything else; when they get to you whenever, wherever, with whatever, don’t fool yourself. You are an option!
If someone isn’t obviously going out of their way to position you to be a priority, it may not mean that they don’t care. It does mean that they don’t care enough to make you as a priority.
Don’t be a loser!
You cannot reasonably elevate yourself (or vacate) if you refuse to acknowledge where you are.
Realism can be hard on the eyes, but it is a sight that you must see and acknowledge!
Take heed.
Read the signs.
Believe what your eyes behold; it is more than a scintilla of evidence.
Actions speak louder than words. Don’t lie in a state of disregarded oblivion.
Being anything but first is losing! If you are not first, you are in second place or beyond.
Play to win.
Position yourself to be in a state of comfort mentally, physically, spiritually … and in all ways.
Prioritize your priorities!
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By Vernalee
Without question, life and living are not without troubles or its accomplice, worry. Sooner or later, they walk through your door. Sometimes we worry about issues that do not directly concern us, but if they affect people that we love, they naturally becomes an extension of our lives.
Flowers, particularly roses can be calming / soothing. Although they don’t wash our troubles away, roses brighten up our space.
They are such beautiful flowers and come in an assortment of colors. Often, I think that roses, particularly red ones, have magical powers. A dozen delivered to my door can heal emotional wounds and bring instant joy and jubilation. A delivery of two dozen once made me jump through hoops.
To its recipient, roses show thoughtfulness from the giver. They can definitely liven up your day and spirits with their fragrant delight.
As beautiful and fragrant as roses are, rose bushes have thorns. The piercing of a thorn against our skin hurts. When that happens, we have God’s healing hands to give us relief.
Sure, life is not a bed of roses, but thank God for his mercy, love, grace, protection, and covering.
Thank God for continuing the breathe of life in us and our loved ones. Thank God for a tomorrow!
As we feel the smooth petals, smell the fragrant scent, and adore the beauty of red roses, we can digest God’s words and take in the beauty of his garden of life that is filled with many flowers along with life’s varied assets. As we stand, sit, and walk in God’s rose garden, we are provided with all of the necessities that we need in this life. Oh yes, we are truly blessed! James 1:12 tells us – Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
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By Vernalee
well -
Don’t let this be your story.
Mr. John Doe is sitting at the bar telling the bartender and everyone that would listen “his somebody done somebody wrong story.”
For certain, the bartender got an ear full! “Yea man, she was the best woman I ever had. She cooked; she cleaned; she treated me like a king! I did her wrong. I took her for granted.”
As he ordered another beer, the bartender said, “You’ll be alright. Just go home, take her some roses, and show her how much you love her.”
Mr. Doe looked him in the eyes and said, “Wish I could, but she left me. My life has been a hot mess since she walked out the door. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t seen or heard from her. I’m about to lose my mind!”
Gulping down the Colt 45, he said, “I never thought that I would admit this but it’s true.
You never miss your water until your well run dry! I am a living testimony. Without her, I am empty! I miss her terribly!”
A hint to the wise is sufficient.

If this is your story, change now before you go fetch a pail of water and the bucket comes up empty!
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By Vernalee
Let me tell you the story about the snake and his new found friend.
You probably have heard it in some form or fashion.
A man picked up an injured snake that was lying across the road. The man bandaged and nursed the snake back to good health. They lived harmoniously together for a spell. Then, one day out of the blue, the snake bit the man.
Devastated, the man emotionally said, “I picked you up, nursed you back to health, fed and clothed you, and you bit me.
Is this the thanks that I get?”
The snake answered and said, “You knew that I was a snake when you picked me up!”
Yes, that’s right; the snake talked; his actions spoke loud and clear for him! Wake up people!
Stop thinking that you can change people. They can only change themselves. Don’t assume that one good turn deserves another! Just because you treat people right, it doesn’t mean that they will reciprocate.
Some folks will turn on you, no matter what you do or have done for them!
Things are not always what they seem. Be wise; watch your back. Need I add, watch your front and sides too!
Beware of the snakes. They are everywhere…
Metaphorically, they walk; they talk; they even sit … often times next to you.
Occasionally, they are hard to detect. Disguises are one of their major forms of deception.
Remember, it was the serpent that deceived Eve and filled her head with a lot of garbage that lead to her and Adam’s demise.
In addition to their convincing deception, they can be poisonous.
Stay on the lookout!
You don’t want to he bitten by your so called snake of a friend! Wowser!
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By Vernalee
imageA dear and loving sister girl sent me a You Tube sermon by Rev. Dr. Howard John Wesley of the Alfred Street Baptist Church in Alexandria, Virginia that absolutely blew me away. It sent electric shock waves through my body. The generic commonality of the topic is one that we can easily relate to as we select various relationships. The subject dealt with “How we identify and remove Poisonous People/Relationships from our lives.” Using a quote from Howard Thurman, Dr. Wesley stated that “our lives are shaped by two things. Where am I going? Who’s going with me.” Inseparable, purpose and partnership go hand in hand. Accordingly to Dr. Wesley as he brought his sermon from Judges Chapter 1, we connect ourselves with several levels of relationships including:
The levels are intensified to include:
Intertwining scriptural references from Amos Chapter 3, Exodus Chapter 34, Ephesian Chapter 3, Psalms Chapter 1, I Peter Chapter 2, and 2 Corinthians 6:14, we are admonished to open our eyes to the character of people that we are dealing with or whom we form associations.
As we examine the Five Test of Toxicity, namely:
1. Fear
2. Admission of Wrong
3. Avoidance
4. Neediness & Self Sufficiency
5. Vision & Manipulation – it is hopeful that we can discern who God has sent into our lives accidentally and providentially. A powerful message, we know that bad associations spoil useful habits; we know that birds of the same feather flock together; and we know that if we lay down with dogs, we get up with fleas. It is not what we know. It is what we are willing to do with what we know! The choices are ours to make. Choose wisely!
Happy Sunday! God bless!
I invite you to listen to this powerful message and be blown away as I!

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By Vernalee
Join the club!
Stress is not a good thing for your emotional or physical wellbeing.
In addition to the uneasiness, it resonates and attacks our bodies like an atom bomb.
Before it gets out of hands, let’s see how we can relieve at least some of it.
Eliminating the cause (of stress) is the greatest solution.
Of course, that is more easier said than done.
Breaking up is hard to do, but no one wants to hold on to something that produces daily anxiety.
Take a deep breathe!
Help is on the way.
Take a look at the natural remedies to rid our systems of stress.
1. Meditate
2. Exercise
3. Aromatherapy
4. Baths
5. Massage
6. Herbal Teas
7. Sleep
8. Diet
9. Cut out/lower screen time (television, laptop, cellphone)
10. Organize
If none of this work, let me provide an element of Biblical counseling.
Here goes.
Matthew 6: 25-27
Phil 4:6
Hebrew 13:5-6
Matt 11:28-30
Luke 12: 22-31.
I close with my favorite and guiding scripture as it relates to stress. It is Matthew 6:34 and it reads, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
That scripture is loaded! I hope that it helps your mental mindset and relieve you as much as it has me.
If you are less stressed, it worked!
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By Vernalee

Dear SWTA followers,
I need your help.
I need more space at home.
What do you mean?
Your home is spacious.
Yes it is, but it is full of my adult children stuff which limits my storage capacity.
My definition of a family home is one with an open door policy that belongs to the family.
Praise God for that provision and understanding.
However that is not my issue.
My issue is having an abundant amount of my children stuff. Mind you, my adult children left the nest years ago; more than a decade to be precise.
So why are their items still here and why do their overflow finds its way back to my home!
That’s a good question!
Sure, I have asked them to remove some things. I have heard their laughter that I, as many other empty nesters, have so much room.
I’m sure that you’ve heard similar comments and accompanying laughter.
So that you understand, let me clarify junk. I am not referring to my and their treasure chest of items that I maintain that carries sentimental significance.
I am referring to what I call the dumping ground whereby the family home is used as a storage bin.
What is a reasonable time to have your adult children remove their possessions from your home? Or a more accurate question may be – How do you stop additional items from finding their way to your door?
Needless to say, I can barely fit my car in my spacious 2 car garage because there is simply not enough room. The teddy bear collection, amongst other items are stored there.
Wait a minute!
I tend to use my head sometimes for more than a hat rack.
I just came up with the perfect solution.
In fact, I have several.
1. I will give a final warning to my big little ones to come and retrieve their stuff. If that doesn’t work since it hasn’t in the past, I will initiate “Operation Removal.”
2. I will have a garage sale. Those extra dollars from the proceeds are enticing.
3. I could always donate their items to a charitable organization.
4. Strategically, I could ask them to purchase s storage bin and place their items there.
5. Using a recommendation from a colleague, I could pull up a dumpster and discard the items.
Ok children, as a last call, I know that you read my blog from time to time.
A hint to the wise is sufficient.
Act before I do!
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By Vernalee
Oh My poor aching feet! I just left the salon after receiving a soothing pedicure. Though polished with a silver lacquered shine, I am taking baby steps as I move.
I’m glad you asked!
I’m watching my steps not because of my sore feet, but because of the situation.
When you walk on eggshells, you have to “watch what you say or do around a certain person because anything might set him or her off.”
Therefore, you must walk very carefully and take steps gingerly.
Figuratively speaking, you seek to avoid confrontation since eggs are so easily broken.
It can become a sensitive hot spot. Your moves, speech, and actions are more cautionary than often sincere.
“Walking on eggshells embraces cautionary actions similar to walking on thin ice or broken glass.”
A step in the wrong direction can lead to a crash and a clash!
You know exactly what I mean!
Don’t you?
I’m sure you have felt the occasional accompanying pain during a misstep. While walking on eggshells presents enough difficulty for most people, walking on the whole egg without damage would be nearly impossible.
In effect, whether you admit it or not, you will become synthetic; very unreal because you are not being honest or true to yourself.
You let other folks’ reactions determine your actions.
You don’t want to do anything to make a bomb go off.
Been there; done that!
Can I get a witness!
Alright, let’s face it, no one like the sound of crunchy egg shells under your feet.
We certainly don’t won’t that gluey egg yolk and egg whites running through our toes!
How disgusting!
So until we effectively deal with the situation or the people that we are trying not to offend, despite the fact that they are offensive via their actions to us, we are in a no win situation.
When we have to be on guard with our words and actions, we are continuously stepping in a rotten egg mess!
Here’s my advice to you as I turn the mirror to speak to myself.
I’m there; walking uncomfortably with you at times! Regretfully, I confess!
You know that none of us are exempted from the hostilities, anger, bitterness, and fear that are attached.
The solution is simple.
First, relax!
Take a chill pill.
This is what we must do.
Let’s boldly speak up and defend ourselves!
Let’s remove ourselves from the self imposed delicate ‘touch and go’ situations that are routinely inflicted by others.
If we don’t, they have succeeded in defeating us; they have received what they wanted at our expense.
In the process, they have gotten on your last nerve, worn you down, and pissed you off.
Did I mention, how upset and fidgety you have become?
Watch your step … and your back!
Stay away from those eggshells and broken down people so that they don’t break you down!
Photo credit: gettyimages


By Vernalee
Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown” is a line from the William Shakespeare play King Henry the Fourth. I love Shakespearian plays. Julius Caesar remains my favorite. Their depth is reflective of everyday living including the anxieties of life. They make you think. Agreed?
“Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown” describes a person who has great responsibilities, power, and prestige who is constantly worried and therefore doesn’t sleep soundly. The uneasiness profilerates and produces those tiny gray strings of wisdom. Just ask President Obama; his hair changed from black to white almost overnight.
The expression fits many people who have great responsibilities – leaders, executives, entrepreneurs, CEO’s, parents, care givers, you, and me. Sleepless nights, stress, and worry are accompaniments to the “crown.”
We crown wearers worry about others often times more than they worry about themselves.
It begs to ask: Who is worried about us?
Though unamusingly hilarious, that’s a question whose answer may be shockingly surprising! Nevertheless those whose heads (in theory) are adorned with the beautiful jeweled crown laden with rubies and precious stones have to balance activities, duties, and responsibilities so that nothing tilts.
We are jugglers who must maintain equalization in our lives and those of others. Careful we must be to manage it all! Cautious we must be to minimize the stress.
Not only do we have extremely weighty decisions to analyze and make, all eyes are upon us at all times; even when we sleep! The expectations can be overwhelming and unrealistic.
Are they pleasurably watching, hoping that we succeed, or waiting for us to fall? Who knows?
While most sleep, we are awake. Usually, we are in deep thought determining the next steps for us and others as they nap and snore. (Zzzz). It comes with the “crown” territory.
The scrutiny of us in general and our decisions in particular can be microscopic; unbearable at times. Speaking of pressure, it can heavy enough to make you scream. Go ahead; release it, let it out! It is imperative that you stay “cool, calm, and collected.”
When your release valves are open, they help you manage more efficiently, remain less stressful, and make wiser decisions.
Sometimes, we cannot always change hats and roles. Because of our bothersome conscious, we cannot throw the crown in the trash; too many people depend upon us.
We can however wise up, make prudent decisions, and get an occasional good night’s sleep. We may even graduate to the level to sleep like a baby; worry free for a moment. Interesting, the people that we worry about have no trouble taking a nap.
With time, we may graduate and become indoctrinated with another important factor, namely – to take one day at a time.
Personally, I have learned to throw my burdens on the Lord. Man has been such a big disappointment. God’s guidance will never misdirected you.
To my followers who wear the crown, let the admonition of Matthew 6:34 soothe your soul.
“Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Smart thinking!
With age comes wisdom!
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