Archive for June, 2017


By Vernalee
Though your nose may not grow like the fictitious Pinocchio if you tell a lie, it is a statistical fact that we all lie – from time to time. Shut your mouth!
Stop lying by saying that you don’t. Some of us are better liars than others; some can even lie convincingly without blinking an eye.
It may be a little lie, a big lie, or a “shading” of the truth lie by withholding critical information. Yet, for certain, regardless of the size or content of the story – a lie is a lie!
Yes, that’s right, we are all big, fat liars.
According to current research, “by age four, 90% of children have grasped the concept of lying, and it just gets worse from there. Just how bad is it? Let’s see.
1. According to a recent study conducted by the University of Massachusetts, 60% of adults can’t have a ten minute conversation without lying at least once. But even that number makes it sound better than it really is; those people in the study who did lie actually told an average of 3 lies during their brief chat. And I know you’re sitting there right now insisting you would be part of the 40% that didn’t lie. That’s what the liars in the study thought, too. When they watched the taped conversations back, they were shocked at how many fibs they had told. The average number of lies told per day was 1.65. That number is surprisingly low. Many participants were lying about the extent of their lying!
2. We lie to everyone. Our parents get the worst of it, according to “The Day America Told the Truth,” with 86% of us lying to them regularly, followed by friends (75%), siblings (73%), and spouses (69%). But in general we lie about things that aren’t important, little things that we think will make us look better or more like-able.
3. Sometimes we do lie about things that matter. According to one estimate, 40% of people lie on their resumes. According to a study by Scientific American, a whopping 90% of people looking for a date online lie in their profile. The biggest fib told by women is an obvious one; on average ladies claim to weigh eight and a half pounds less than they actually do. Men, on the other hand, try to use their profile to convince potential partners that they are taller, richer, and/or better educated than they actually are. But before you vow never to trust anyone again, here’s some food for thought: A study by the University of Toronto found that it is actually the most trusting people who are best able to tell when they are being lied to.”
“This leads me to one final thought. Men, if ever asked the following question by your significant other (female): “Do these jeans make me look fat?” If the veridical answer is “yes,” you may wish to exercise your daily quota of lying in offering a response.”
Lie detector tests are definitely out of the question. No telling how we would fare there! I remain in awe of those who lie and think that you think that they told the truth. Let’s not forget that the so called “private” conservative people who are reluctant to tell you stuff are not reserved when it comes to lying. They are often times the bigger offenders since their lives are built around not telling their business. Keeping secrets and keeping you out of their business remain their number one goal. Lies aid in that process.
Did I hear someone reciting the childhood poem, “Liar, liar, pants on fire?” The fireman’s truth is to hose you down with water to extinguish the flames! Unbelievable – once you dry out, you start lying again!
All of this tells us one thing: The truth is a luxury; it is worth its weight in gold since we hear so little of it!
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By Vernalee
Keith Cameron Smith in his book, “The Top 10 Distinctions between the Millionaires and the Middle Class” provides clear cut distinctions on how millionaires and the middle class populace think. Without question, we are and / or become what we think! Our thoughts eventually parlay into our actions.
As you examine Smith’s 10 Distinctions, you may be amazed at the specified thought processes; thus, demonstrating the importance of your mindset toward goal accomplishments. Let’s take a look.
Distinction # 10 Millionaires think long term.
The middle class thinks short term.
Distinction # 9 Millionaires talk about ideas.
The middle class talks about things and other people.
Distinction # 8 Millionaires embrace change.
The middle class is threatened by change.
Distinction # 7 Millionaires take calculated risks.
The middle class is afraid to take risks.
Distinction # 6 Millionaires continually learn and grow.
The middle class thinks learning ended with school.
Distinction # 5 Millionaires work for profits.
The middle class works for wages.
Distinction # 4 Millionaires believe they must be generous.
The middle class believes they can’t afford to give.
Distinction # 3 Millionaires have multiple sources of income.
The middle class only has one or two.
Distinction # 2 Millionaires focus on increasing their net worth.
The middle class focuses on increasing their paychecks.
Distinction #1 Millionaires ask themselves empowering questions.
The middle class asks disempowering questions.
Now then … What are you thinking?
What is your mindset? How rich (or poor) are you in your thinking? You have time to refocus. It’s never too late to change, if need be. Don’t be a wannabe! Don’t operate with Champaign taste on a beer budget! Realize your fullest potential – which may change your thoughts, habits, actions, and of course, your spending!
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By Vernalee
Today is Father’s Day; a day that we honor and remember our Fathers. As I reflect, I am so blessed because there are so many Daddy stories that I can share.
When God created the family, he created it with a balanced perspective with the Father being the head of the household. Many Fathers are mentioned in the Bible ranging from:
God the Father, the creator of us all;
Adam, the first man;
Noah, a righteous man;
Abraham, the father of the Jewish nation;
Isaac, son of Abraham;
Jacob, father of the 12 tribes of Israel;
Moses, giver of the law;
King David, a man after God’s own heart; and
Joseph, earthly Father of Jesus, among others.
There are 71 Bible verses that speak about the responsibilities of Fathers. From Psalms 103:13 to 1 Timothy 3: 2-5, the Father’s role is well defined.
In fact, God provides vivid instructions that outline the roles of all family members.
We read about the virtuous woman in Psalms 31; wise sons in Proverbs 13:1; training our children in Proverbs 22:6; and of course, let’s not forget the admonition in Proverbs 6:20, where children are taught to honor and respect the commandments of their Fathers and words of their Mothers.
The granddaddy of all the scriptures regarding the family lies in Deuteronomy 5:16 and Ephesian 6: 2-3, where we are instructed to Honor our Fathers and Mothers, the only commandment with a promise.
So today, I salute my Father, my children’s Father, my son who is a young Father, and all Fathers.
To those whose Fathers have gone home to be with the Lord, let today be a memory of their goodness.
To those whose Fathers are alive, show them how much you love, adore, respect, and honor them.
Happy Father’s Day!
Happy Sunday!
God bless!
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By Vernalee
Is he getting off cheap? Are you getting the short end of the stick? Are you guilty of being too reticent to ask or push the buttons? Does he take advantage of your reticence? If you could put his love in a container, how much would you have? Is a container big enough? Questions on questions abound. The truth always rises to the top.
Check this out.
Listen to the stories.
Here’s one.
Rumor has it that she (the girlfriend, that is) has two cars and a plush house that the boyfriend purchased. Exquisite attire, furs, jewelry, and designer bags line the walls of her closet. Exotic trips to lands afar are vacations of pleasure; all courtesy of the boyfriend. Mind you, I said boyfriend, not husband!
They’re in a committed relationship, but not married yet.
The old folks would say that she is a “well kept” woman.
How and why
Obviously, he loves her and wants to adorn her with pleasantries.
Some might ask, “Is this a pay to play system? Or is it a man doing what a man does when he loves and adores the woman in his life? He treasures her with goodies of all types; with love and kindness.
Recently, speaking on harmonious marriages, I heard a pastor say that most men just need two things – sexual gratification and the remote control. Women, he said on the other hand need ten to twenty things. This recognition is a mature acknowledgement and understanding of a woman’s chemistry/emotionality and what it takes to show her that you care. Beyond being shown, she needs to hear the sweet words of love being whispered into her ears and to feel the gentleness of her man’s touch.
Keeping it simple, there are four things that a man can do to show love:
1. Say “I love you” – regularly.
2. Give tokens of affection.
3. PDA – Show Physical Displays of Affection.
4. Connecting – Being together on a consistent basis; alone, and with family and friends.
Let’s get to the meat of the matter and move away from litanies of excuses. Excuses that are given too often to justify lack; excuses that are tired of being heard. Admittance is the first step needed to move forward.
Thus, it begs to ask if you are an independent woman or a woman who asks for little, should your man adorn you with much? Of course! Be careful!
Men – Don’t be caught in a bad position. One day, the person that you gave little when you could have given much will get tired of being low on the food chain; or one day you may meet your match.
If you need to make a change, it’s never too late. Stand up and be counted!
Stop being in denial!
Stop trying to convince yourself that you are generous of your time and resources, when you know that you are not!
Be true to thine self!
You know better than most! You can say whatever you want, but you can’t justify what you don’t do! There is always residual evidence. The proof is in the pudding!
Stop the madness!
If there is true love, you never have to be asked. You just do! You give freely to each other. You become gifts to each other. Untie the bow! Now that’s what I’m talking about!
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PostHeaderIcon 9 SIGNS OF A MAN’S LOVE

By Vernalee

He loves me. He loves me not.
We are familiar with that nursery rhyme and its scenic demonstration of picking petals off of flowers. If the last petal ends with “he loves me,” then love is in the air.
Childish; right?
For certain, love is not a game.
Quite the contrary!
Love is a powerful emotion.
We women desire the love and affection from our man; and vice versa.
Many times, we want to hear him whisper the words, “I love you.”
Are the words more important than the actions?
Would you rather that he shows you than tell you?
Or are you one of those who wants a combination of both?
Don’t answer!
That is why this caption, 9 Signs of a Man’s love, stopped many of the female homo sapiens in our tracks.
Let’s take a look at the “man” signs of this emotion called – LOVE.
Here we go!
1. He caters to you.
2. He wants to hang out with you … a lot.
3. Sex isn’t the main factor for him.
4. He keeps you in mind when making major decisions.
5. He tells you things he’s never told anyone.
6. He doesn’t flirt with other women.
7. He doesn’t mind talking about the future.
8. He shows you off.
9. He loves making you feel special.
Stop being greedy!
Is 9 enough or do you want 10 reasons?
Your number is yours, but having a man who loves, adores, respects, admires, cares … and shows it … is good enough for many!
He will extraordinarily and habitually do so in all ways.
That is the hope.
That is what counts; right?
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By Vernalee
It’s the little things that count!
Ladies …
Nothing beats those little things that our man does!
* A brief morning text to describe his day and wish you well – goes far.
* Sneaking in a midday call to see how your day is going – speaks volume.
* Breaking bread together at the end of the day so the two of you can unwind – fills your soul.
* Tucking you in with a brief nightcap conversation – helps you sleep like a baby. Zzzz.
Those teeny weenie things have the monumental impact. They carry the message of love and caring very far. Some can make you melt like butter. We women love a gentleman, but nothing beats a caring good man. There are differences between the two, but one can be the other.
Are you with me so far?
So that I could get validation to my written words, I spoke to an expert.
Allow me to share a few points.
You will see how that small inch of him taking the time to show how much he cares is equivalent to a mile long distance of satisfied pleasure.
Sit tight, here we go! First on the list is –
Drumroll please …..
1. Say it!
You know – the “I love you” words. If you feel it and mean it, say it. Those three little words can light up a room, your face, and your life. Its medicinal effects is a cure all.
2. Watch romantic movies.
This is simple but effective. Eat some popcorn, take in a romantic movie, and relax together; holding hands if you like. How cute!
3. Be silly together.
Let your inhibitions go. Being silly together shows that you are comfortable with each other. The last laugh is on him. Haha!
4. Say thank you.
The sound of thank you can be sweeter than cotton candy. Gratitude can go a long way to make the other person feel special. Let those 2 words roll off your tongue.
5. Compliments.
Compliments are an instant lift especially when it’s coming from someone you love. A small gesture shows that you’re noticed and appreciated.
6. Do what your significant other enjoys.
It’s not all about you. Stop selfishly thinking about yourself. It’s we, not me.
7. Travel together.
Start now. When you find yourself far away from the place you live, you only have each other to rely on. Create lasting memories.
8. Cuddle.
Cuddling has this wonderful ability to soothe away the pain and calm you down. It works both ways. Not only will your partner feel relaxed, but you will shake off some of that everyday stress. And when it’s cold (Brrr), you can keep each other warm.
9. Bury the hatchet.
It’s not emotionally healthy to keep hurtful memories alive. They promote the past. Cut them off; bury them. Pray for strength. Forgive. Forget. Move on.
10. Honesty
The truth is worth its weight in gold. It is what trust is made of; one of the major ingredients in fact.
11. Stay strong in the Lord.
Our problems may become bigger than us. Pray alone. Pray together. Ask for guidance and deliverance. Make yourself whole by obeying God’s Word.
These are small things that mean so much.
When you gravitate mentally to a good place, your world changes; it looks different.
Start today. Try implementing as many improvements as you can and see the difference that they make.
Practice makes perfect.
Those little things add up!
The Bible tells us that he who is faithful in least is faithful in most.
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By Vernalee
To bring home the bacon means to earn money, particularly for one’s family; to be successful, especially financially successful; to supply means of subsistence; earn a living; attain success or reach a desired goal.
For years, the man held the distinction of being the primary wage earner and the person who made the most money. That trend is changing.
Women nowadays not only take care of their households, but in many cases also bring home the most bacon.
According to the NY Times, the median household income for married women who earn more than their husbands — more often White, slightly older and college educated — is $80,000.
When the wife is the primary breadwinner, the total family income is generally higher.
Check out this statistic: One fourth of women earn more than their husbands.
What happens to the family when the woman rises to the top and assumes this role? Here is where the debate and varying opinions occur.
Some say that it is a recipe for disaster. Others say that the family is better off. A selected group contends that it’s not just about the dollars. There is a group of men who find not being the top breadwinner a little unsettling. They feel that their role is being threatened.
Then there are the selected women who also hold the role of top breadwinners who allege unfairness in that they still bear the majority responsibility of child rearing and the abundant housework. Let’s not forget the traditional theory that children turn out better when the Mother stays home.
Alright, let me ask one more question. Regardless of whose pockets are the deepest – Who should pay the bill in the restaurant; the man or the woman? Some say the man; some say it doesn’t matter; others say why blow a gasket!
There is as much agreement as there is disagreement. Where is the balance? It is a tug of war. Is there a universal answer or does it depend upon the individual family?
Remember this: Bacon fits nicely between toasted bread…no matter what!
So when a woman “bring home the bacon and is the top breadwinner,” it’s too much for some traditionalists.
What do you think?
A penny – and a slice of bacon on toast with grape jelly – for your thoughts!
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By Vernalee
Oh my, we love bread! It can be flavorfully white, wheat, rye and other varieties. The average family eats about 80 loaves of bread a year. Depending on the thickness of the slices, there are approximately 20 slices of bread in an individual loaf at an approximate cost of $1.50.
Why am I providing these statistics? Simple, because as a colleague pointed out the other day, the average person throws away the two bread ends in each loaf.
Thus, utilizing this referenced example, minimally, we are wasting 160 slices (equating to 8 loaves of bread) yearly. Notwithstanding the cost of bread, that is a lot of uneaten bread and $$$ thrown out of the window! What is interesting is that the bread ends taste the same as the regular slices.
As for me, I eat the bread ends; buttered, toasted, baked, and topped with jam! Yum!
More bread; less waste; more money for me!
I enjoy my nutritious Wonder Bread. Have a slice of my tasty, mouthwatering bread end!
Bon appetit!
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By Vernalee
No, I am not talking about Maxwell House Coffee. Since 1917, Maxwell House has branded it’s coffee using, “Good to the last drop” advertisement slogan. We all know it!
This time, I am speaking of another product and my fetish. It started over 40 years ago when I was in college.
Funds were tight, so I made use of every dollar that I spent.
Maximizing toothpaste usuage was one of my cost efficient routines. Instead of throwing a seemingly empty tube away, I would cut the toothpaste tube in half.
Amazingly, toothpaste would freely come out of the tube.
In fact, I could get an extra 2-3 more brushes afterwards.
Conclusively, the toothpaste tube wasn’t really empty. Old habits die hard!
Perhaps, I am a toothpaste penny pincher because I still cut the tube in half! I use every drop of my Colgate! Every little bit helps! Those pennies add up; then and now!
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By Vernalee
When we travel, we often carry a roadside emergency kit. We have battery cables, a flashlight, and other essential items. We may also carry a daily survival kit consisting of water, bandaids, tylenols, and other first aid items. If we get lost along the way, we can use our GPS navigational system. If we have mechanical problems, we can call roadside assistance.
Therefore, it should come as no surprise that we need the same tools spiritually. We need a Spiritual Survival Kit. The items that we need are designed to be with us in our hearts, minds, and souls at all times. As you will see, we can carry them with us to sustain us wherever we are and wherever we go. A spiritual emergency kit might include at least five things:  1) a prayer, 2) a scripture verse or psalm, 3) a place, 4) a practice, and 5) a friend.
On the road, by the side of the road, and traveling on the road with us – is God. Thank you Lord for your never ending presence; for being there when we need you; for being there before we ask; and for providing the needs and desires of our hearts. Thank you Lord for being an “on time God;” readily available everyday of the week, 24 hours a day. God, we also thank you for equipping us with aids to help us make it through each day.
If we are not connected with you Lord or if we’re not grounded in your Word, then storms, crises, problems – can overtake us. 
Having these five items in our Spiritual Survival Kit helps.
1. “A Prayer is a good thing to have at hand.  Whether you memorize a prayer, make the Lord’s Prayer your own, or perhaps hold on to a special prayer —it’s good to know a prayer so that whenever you need it, it’s right there with you, inside of you.
2. A verse of Scripture works the same way.  No matter what comes, you can remind yourself of God’s assurance, God’s strength, and God’s care by repeating the scripture you’ve “heard, read, marked, learned, and inwardly made your own.
3. A place that is holy and grounding can be a life-saver.  When you feel like the world is spinning out of control, you simply go to your place and be still.  A holy place might be your room, your church, a chapel, a garden, or any special place. You can be walking, sitting, standing. The place really doesn’t matter as long as you have a designation where you can hit a spiritual “re-set” button.
4. A spiritual emergency kit would also include a practice of some kind – a practice you can do without thinking about it; something calming and routine that puts you back in your own spiritual zone.  It might be yoga, or meditation, or prayer. It might be riding a bike, or walking for twenty minutes.
5. Finally, a spiritual emergency kit would include contact information of a friend, or a clear cut way of reaching a friend.  That friend might be a family member; it may be a religious person, or it might not be, but it should be someone who you can tell the truth to, someone who will listen but not judge, and absorb what you’re saying. Such a friend will help get you through the roughest of rough places.”
A prayer, a scripture verse, a place, a practice, and a friend – all of these ingredients work together like a kit to keep us going. If all else fails, no matter what, we’ve got the Lord!
Happy Sunday! Blessings!
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