Archive for August, 2017


By Vernalee
In 1974, William DeVaughn had a song titled, “Be Thankful for what you got!” At the time, we sang and hand danced to the song not knowing the true meaning of its lyrics. The greater our life experiences, the wiser we become. DeVaughn’s lyrics (below) reflected the times, but the meaning extended beyond the seventies. It’s relevancy is timeless!
“Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac
Gangsta whitewalls
TV antennas in the back
You may not have a car at all
But remember brothers and sisters
You can still stand tall.
Just be thankful for what you got.”
Yes, we should be thankful and be grateful for what we have; not what we don’t have!
We have more than enough compared to many.
Our blessings are over flowing compared to some.
If you need a reminder, you don’t have to look far … just look around!
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By Vernalee
Yes, experience is the best teacher! No, I am not singing R&B singer’s Miki Howard’s song that speaks about the same subject. She does have some serious vocal pipes though! I am simply echoing a truism. For sure, I am a proponent of the fact that we are taught many lessons that we learn in this life. Failures often are the best teachers. We get better and learn from our mistakes. And of course, I remember the old ladies in Mississippi saying, “You can’t tell that child a thing. She has to buy her sense.” Nonetheless, that is what experience does. The key is that we have to push our emotions out of the way and learn from them; which is easier said than done.
Experience, though a simple word, means different things to different people. However, in its most pristine form, experience is the “practical contact with and observation of facts or event; or to encounter or undergo (an event or occurrence). Experience is also the knowledge or mastery of an event or subject gained through involvement in or exposure to it.” There are various forms of experiences that we derive from physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, religious, social, virtual simulation, and other settings.
Whether we call it, training, maturity, practice, or encounters, experience is valuable.
It is safe to assume that we will learn more from things that happen to us in real life than from hearing about them or studying things that happen to other people. In streets terms, we call that “learnt” sense, which is different from the “bought” sense that borders on advice; and “I told you so.” Sometimes, I guess we just have to fall down to know what it feels like to pick ourselves up.
Everyone has chimed in on the experience relatedness. Remember these.
• Some things you won’t understand until it happens to you.
• Your best teacher is your last mistake.
• Only the journey matters.
• The only source of knowledge is experience.
• A mind that is stretched by experience can never go back to its old
• Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.
• Experience is simply the name that we give to our mistakes.
Whether we discount these phrases as just being expressions of the time, we cannot deny that this is what experience does:
1. We learn from experience.
2. Experience teaches us what we want and what we don’t want.
3. Experience transforms us into professionals.
4. Experiences are extremely impressionable.

We must be careful that we don’t allow our experiences in life to negatively affect our heart. Bitterness, hatred, and anger can walk through our doors easily. Replacing them with joy, love, and happiness are optimal. Our experiences have probably shown us that the latter scenario is the better one.
Every problem comes in our life to make us or break us. The choice is ours whether we become victims or victors.
Victories and success sound good to me! Agreed?
Stop! See what your experiences have taught you!
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By Vernaleeimage
I recently watched the movie, “The Intern.”
In fact, as it was full of valuable takeoffs, I found myself watching it on HBO several times.
Starring Anne Hathaway and Robert DeNiro, it is very entertaining; a must watch; a story of old school wisdom joining forces with a young entrepreneurial approach. A twist of the ordinary, a 70 year DeNiro is the interm. The movie clearly demonstrate that experience never grows old. “The Intern” is full of leadership lessons.
Take a look:
1. Keep moving.
2. Leaders set the tone.
3. If there is a hole in your life, fill it.
4. Leaders can get blindsided. They can’t see everything coming. Step back,
breathe, and see what’s happening.
5. Celebrate good things.
6. Passing the leadership baton can be difficult.
7. Find the formula for fair distribution of work. Stop piling up layers and layers of work on a person where it is not manageable.
8. Your ways may not be as productive as you think.
9. You’re never wrong to do the right thing.
10. We think that we’re less screwed up than we really are.
So what if your boss is not a leader? What if he/she leaves a lot to be desired?
You will soon realize that you can’t change them. You can only change you. Learn to not be like them!
Imitating poor conduct, be it from a leader or not, is not advisable.
By all means, don’t let their mishaps rub off on you!
Maximize your potential which may include leaving an environment where leadership and opportunities are absent or poor.
Rather, carry this cadre of quotes to motivate you:
A. Success never sleeps nor does it wait. It is available 24x7x365 even if
you are not.
B. You will make mistakes. Learn from them.
C. When was the last time that you did something for the first time. Keep
D. Not taking risks ultimately lead to failure.
E. Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.
F. Look back at past mistakes as a lesson, not a regret.
G. Positive things happen when you distance yourself from negative people.
H. Ego, particularly an inflated one, is the enemy.
I. Business success = mission, strategy, and resources.
The list goes on.
Allow these lessons to be learning experiences whereby you can move from Point A to Point Z pridefully and successfully.
Don’t let others be your stumbling block! Keep moving; don’t give up!
Reach for the sky!
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By Vernalee
I have had enough!
Yes, that’s right!
I’m throwing in the towel.
I quit.
I’m done!
I cannot take it anymore!
I am so tired of other people’s problems (OPP) and their foolishness.
I am tired of being on their defense team listening to their problems – one after another.
Oh, I forgot to tell you this! Other folks problems can stress you out and “wear you thin” if you let them. Shiny gray hairs become prolific on your head; not theirs! You can become so engulfed with OPP’s that you become sidetracked with your own.
Before you realize it, your issues have been put on the back burner. I’ve had enough! I want to limit my time and energies toward engagement for me and my loved ones.
So as I wipe the sweat off my face, I am tossing that white grimy towel with the velocity of a 20 mph javelin throw. Watch it fly through the air like a towel trapeze!
I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of other folks’ stuff!
My new white soft towel is embracing my skin like a cool summer breeze.
I’m taking a mental health break from them to concentrate on me and mine!
What a wonderful feeling!
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By Vernalee
Sunday after Sunday, we gather to hear a message from God. We listen as the man of God speaks to us. We want to leave with a inkling of encouragement in our souls; words that will make us better; words that will uplift us; words that will shed light on our experiences; words that will help us make it through another day.
“Some pastor are fiery and others are quiet. Some are great storytellers and others favor a more direct exposition of the scriptures. Some can sing spiritual melodies that resonate through your heart. But no matter what the style or ability of the preacher, God can work through sermons to transform people’s lives.
Bible scholars agree that the Sermon on the Mount is the greatest sermon ever preached. In His discourse about “kingdom living,” recorded in Matthew 5—7, Jesus presented to His disciples the way of righteous living for those who are in God’s family.
The Sermon on the Mount is the longest continuous section of Jesus speaking found in the New Testament, and has been one of the most widely quoted elements of the Canonical Gospels. It includes some of the best known teachings of Jesus, such as the Beatitudes, and the widely recited Lord’s Prayer. The Sermon on the Mount contains the central tenets of Christian discipleship.
This sermon is still applicable to us today because God’s Word is never outdated. Hebrews 4:12 tells us, “the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword.”
When we hear great biblical based sermons, do so prayerfully—on our knees—asking God to use His Word to speak directly into our lives. It is hopeful that the words and teachings will have the power to bring about authentic transformations in our lives.”
If you think back to those sermons that left a meaningful impact, messages that transformed you – that is the emotional and spiritual place where you want to be. When I hear a sermon and it seems as if the pastor is talking directly to me as if no one is sitting in the church but the two of us, I know that it is what I needed. I feel that The Lord has spoken to me through his messenger in such a manner that I could receive it in my soul. God always knows our needs! What an amazing God we serve! All I can say is, “Thank you Lord!”
Happy Sunday! Blessings!
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By Vernalee
Recently, I ran across this article and thought it was worth a share.
15 Things that Incredibly Happy People do!
1. They turn their mistakes into lessons.
2. They go offline.
3. They don’t sweat the small stuff.
4. They plan getaways.
5. They say thank you.
6. They give themselves a break.
7. They turn a to do list into a game.
8. They build relationships.
9. They don’t blame the past.
10. They fake it till they make it.
11. They take chances.
12. They get their beauty rest.
13. They get moving.
14. They are honest.
15. They don’t compare themselves to others.
Are you incredibly happy according to these 15 items or just incredibly happy period. Why be sad?
If you woke up this morning, that is a great reason to be incredibly happy.
If you are blessed with reasonably good health; a healthy loving family, great friends and companions; a roof over your head; plentiful food to eat; a source of income / an affordable way of survival … are others. Being surrounded by love – having someone to love you that you can love back is great. I count my blessings everyday and I am incredibly happy and thankful for God’s grace and covering.
Photo credit: Thomas Barwick / Getty Images
Source: MSN Lifestyles / Pop Sugar


By Vernalee
It’s a saying that the “means justify the end!”
There is truth in the quote!
However our actions don’t always qualify us for the Medal of Honor. What happens when we fail to do what is morally right? What if we do not do what we should have done?
There are some who regard their reckless behavior as appropriate and justify it! They convince themselves that they were right when in fact they were as wrong as “two left shoes.”
This is particularly true with selfish people because they really can not see beyond themselves. No one matters but them. In some instances, their families are included in their roundup. Make no mistake, you did not make the cut. You’re an outsider; remember?
Think about it.
If the U.S. Government has three branches as its checks and balances, it certainly justifies that our actions should not go unchecked.
However if one insulates himself/herself with secrecy/privacy to avoid scrutiny, how can they be criticized?
In many cases, they will never stand before a respected authority for consultation and/or get an outside opinion?
They don’t want to be told that their actions were wrong. And of course, being wrong can’t be a correct response to a person who is never wrong!
Hearing the words don’t rest well with their ears or souls! It really doesn’t matter when they have already justified that their wrongness was right!
Check this out!
Saying “I’m sorry” is a phrase that doesn’t exist in their vocabulary.
That is why they take the steps to appease their conscience while caring less that others were hurt by what they said, did, or didn’t do.
None of this should exempt them from being thoughtful and considerate! Just ask the person who was hurt and offended! Their feelings were injured while the offender’s feelings were in a nonchalant state to avoid the external chastisement.
Sadly, their failure to address their deficiencies causes them to drown in their own misery whether the outside world sees it or not.
It’s a coverup.
No one is being fooled but “you know who!”
Something is wrong with that picture!
That’s what happens when you live a lie!
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By Vernalee
I’m not in the business of hurting people; quite the contrary.
I don’t have the time or the desire.
I also don’t contribute to the failure of other. Simultaneously, I keep my guards up to prevent others from dragging me down or placing me in their mess.
I will not be on their lowly level. Speaking of dragging, my non-participation extends beyond the physical interferences. Neither will I assist in dragging someone’s name through the mud.
I do not subscribe to those dastardly measures. It is so much better to let people make their own moves without intervention of negativity.
Neutrality beats meanness.
Sometimes, doing nothing when you could do something is just as bad! Looking the other way also requires movement!
If I cannot lift you higher, I refuse to drag you downward. For those people who are always trying to bring people down, let me share with you a fact!
It takes as much energy, strength, and force to push as to pull; to lift up as to lower. The weight is the same.
I hold my head up. I love that position.
Looking down or behind has no value. Either I or you can be a help or a hindrance. It’s your choice as it is mine!
I have made my decision to help … and I’m sticking to it!


By Vernalee
what jesus did. org
There is a saying, “Know who you are talking to.”
Isn’t it equally as important to know who you are listening to? It is those words that you hear that are likely to influence you.
You must have the wisdom to move away from mouths that speak the wrong message. Closing your ears to not hear … as you run away from badness is the best way to avoid trouble.
You never want to be guided by others’ bad advice or stupidity.
Guard your associations. At times, you may have walk away to shield yourself. Other times, you may need to figuratively or literally if necessary, cover your ears so that you hear not!
“Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Protect yourself; preserve your integrity.
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By Vernalee
During the course of our lives, we meet many people. Nothing beats the ones who enter our lives and never leave. There’s a reason why they stay.
You probably are itching to know the answer.
It is no mystery or miraculous finding.
Is it that we share the same values, goals, and objectives? Yes.
Is it that we love them and they us? Yes.
Is it that we need them to make our lives complete?
There are a number of reasons that varies by individual prerogatives.
I cannot say that I have a comprehensive answer or the right response, but I attribute it to a divine connection.
Your spirits become intertwined.
I have been fortunate to meet a few true friends that only time and distance separate.
Whenever we see each other regardless of the time that has slipped by since our last visit, we pick up as if we glazed each other in the eye just yesterday. It’s a stickiness that cannot be erased; a glue that connects; a love that will hold and keep us together.
It is the thought and the reality of knowing that someone is there in your time of need; during those moments when you need to spill your guts.
My Mother always said, “God places people in your life.”
We walk our trail not alone.
Having a true friend on the journey makes the distance traveled worth the measured steps.
When we are fortunate enough to find “true” friends who share our inner spirit, it is a treasure; a glittering diamond of sorts.
They are rare, but hopefully you have encountered a few. I have!
I refer to them as the ones that are spiritually connected to us by God.
True friends … are the ones with whom you share your stories of successes, failures, ups, downs, and turnarounds.
Lest not forget the relating of those horror stories (nightmares of sorts) and stupid stuff that even you cannot believe that you did until your wisdom kicked in and convinced you of the dangers.
Often, we discuss subjects that are embarrassing, but we need the advice of someone who cares enough to set us straight without judgment.
Our innermost secrets are tucked inside their soul never to come out.
They have stories that can never be told!
They laugh with us; they cry with us.
They have a nudging bent on their knees from the constant prayers for us.
Their prayers travel in two directions as they pray with you and for you.
They too are the ones who encourage and motivate you to do your best, connect you to the right people, and share not an ounce of jealousy.
It becomes a mutual alliance.
They truly want the best for you as you desire for them.
For you to reach the highest height and soar like an eagle is their wish.
Yes, it is unequivocally true that true friends are a rare commodity!
I can testify.
So I feel bless to have these valuable treasures of true friends (one in particular) in my life.
It is a privilege as they don’t come around often.
I don’t take them or what we have for granted.
I thank God for them … and their families for sharing them with me.
I thank them!
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