Archive for October, 2017


By Vernalee
Recently, I heard a pastor say that “the riches in life are not found in money or possessions, but in relationships!” Perhaps to those who revere their bank accounts, real estate holdings, and stocks/bonds, a statement of this magnitude would hit them like a ton of bricks.
Truly, it is our relationship with God foremost and our loved ones that bring us riches!
Being there for people in their time of need is one of the greatest gifts that you can give.
Don’t ignore them when you can help them. They may not know of your resources, but God does!
When you give of your time and resources, you will receive back more than you gave.
Be blessed in your relationships!
Be blessed in your life!
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By Vernalee
Admittedly, I am slow to condemn people. I have always felt that there is good in folks.
Why I fail to recognize that good folks can do bad things and bad folks can do good things is sometimes beyond my comprehension.
Giving folks the benefit of the doubt has always been my forte.
Silly me!
Perhaps, I tend to see the good, not the bad; the successes, not the failures. No matter what cover up process is used, invariably people will show you who they are.
It is in their DNA.
Well put by Dr. Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them … the first time.”
Our making excuses to acknowledge what we see or refuse to see is our cover-up, not theirs!
Don’t wait until they do something despicable to open your eyes.
Stop getting your feelings hurt!
Injury knows no preference.
We can’t say that they didn’t give us a preview.
With wide opened eyes, we saw!
With wide opened eyes, we either accepted or excused their behavior.
People may not change their injurious ways, but you and I can stop aiding and abetting them with our acceptance.
The tiger doesn’t change its stripes.
Neither will they!
They may be articulate smooth talkers, but if their actions don’t match their words, how can you take them seriously?
Trust your eyes.
Believe what you see!
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By Vernalee
Recently, I received an email from one of my sister girls containing this famous Maya Angelou piece.
After digesting this itemized list, admittedly I fall short on a few categories.
At least, now I have a roadmap!
It’s time to go to work on my shortcomings.
Nobody can say it like the late Dr. Angelou! I share her words with you!
Enjoy and achieve!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … by Maya Angelou

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

a youth she’s content to leave behind….

a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will
make her guests feel honored…

a feeling of control over her destiny…

how to fall in love without losing herself..

how to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing…

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month…and a year…

After this read, may I ask, “What do you have and what are you lacking?”
Don’t answer.
Let’s get busy; let’s do it together!
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By Vernalee

As women, nothing is more pleasing to our eyes than a good looking man who walks and talks with an air of confidence.
Yes, it is correct that we women are men watchers!
Just for the record – Watching the other sex is not a trait exclusive for men.
So for the many guys in my reading audience, this one is for you!
Here’s the list of 23 things that men should have in their closet:
1. A no-nonsense navy suit.
2. A gray suit.
3. The only tie you’ll ever need.
4. A white dress suit.
5. A chambray shirt.
6. A blue dress shirt.
7. A polo shirt.
8. An oxford cloth button down.
9. A clean white T-shirt.
10. Raw denim jeans that get better with age.
11. Chinos that fit just right.
12. Two really good belts.
13. Long lasting loafers.
14. A respectable pair of white sneakers.
15. Chukka boots you want to chuck away.
16. Boots that can handle a hike.
17. Black dress shoes.
18. A packable down jacket.
19. A bad pea coat.
20. A less serious sport coat.
21. A cashmere sweater.
22. Sunglasses that go with everything.
23. A stainless steel watch.
Now that the outline has been provided, achieving that tailored list may send you to the store.
Either way, hats off (since hats were not on the list) to a good look.
Photo credit and source:


By Vernalee
As women, we encounter various types of men in our universe. One such man is the Alpha Male. Now then, who is the Alpha Male?
Let me describe him by characteristics. If you know him, give me a jingle.
The Alpha Male is commonly called “the real man, a man’s man, a warrior, a stand-up guy. He is a leader, the guy others look to for motivation, inspiration, and often with a hint of jealousy. He’s the man that women want.”
Ladies, if I have your attention, keep reading. Though it is lengthy, we want a man who will not fade away in the sunset.
Here we go.
“25 characteristics that make a man the alpha.
1. The alpha male is persistent. There’s no quit in this man. He’s the last man standing.
2. The alpha male can defend himself and his family.
3. The alpha male is in peak physical shape. He’s strong and athletic as well as aesthetically pleasing to the opposite sex.
4. The alpha male is courageous. He doesn’t lack fear, rather, he accepts that it exists and faces it at every opportunity.
5. The alpha male can entertain. He has a sense of humor and can have a group of people hanging on his every word – he’s a good story teller.
6. The alpha male has stories to tell. He’s lived – and is living – a unique life. He’s made mistakes, but he’s able to find humor in them. He’s had adventures that everyone wants to hear about.
7. The alpha male can laugh at himself.
8. The alpha male is humble. No matter what he accomplishes, his head will never balloon, and if it does, he comes back down to earth before it gets out of hand.
9. The alpha male is learned, educated. A degree isn’t a prerequisite, but a thirst for knowledge is. This helps him relate to people from every social and economic standing. He can converse intelligently. He is a history buff and a sports nut.
10. The alpha male is a man’s man. He’s tough, often quiet, composed, but can joke and shoot the breeze with anyone.
11. The alpha male knows the value of every word, he doesn’t talk simply to hear the sound of his own voice. His words are chosen carefully. He respects their power; he speaks when he has something of value to say. He’s never the loudest one in the room.
12. The alpha male has a purpose. This may be his most defining trait. Where many wander through life trying to find their Self, the alpha male is too busy creating his Self. Every day he does something to bring himself closer to his goal.
13. The alpha male is a hard worker. He knows that nothing great is accomplished without hard work and a definite purpose.
14. The alpha male is a warrior not a worrier.
15. The alpha male doesn’t pick a fight, but he ends it if he’s in one. He doesn’t fight to destroy, but to defend.
16. The alpha male has style. He takes pride in how he looks. He also knows how to dress like a man.
17. The alpha male knows who he is; his values govern his life. He doesn’t stray from these values, in fact he stands up for them even if he stands alone.
18. The alpha male knows how to treat a lady. He respects women. He’s chivalrous. He helps his lady at every chance. He helps her reach her dreams.
19. The alpha male isn’t a sucker. He isn’t a clinger. He won’t let a woman run his life. He’s his own man. Though he worships the ground his lady walks on, he will not likely be with a jealous woman.
20. The alpha male is a man of value and values. He makes the lives of others better by being a part of them.
21. The alpha male helps others, he’s generous. He has his purpose, but he knows that life isn’t merely about accomplishments, but about leaving a legacy. That legacy is how he made others feel, and how he helps others accomplish their dreams.
22. The alpha male is a leader who leads by example. He doesn’t tell people how to live, but lives in the manner he sees as best to live.
23. Alpha males throughout history, (Achilles and Napoleon), saw opportunity where others saw failure. The alpha male will fail, but he won’t see failure as the end. He’s sees it as a necessary part of the experience, a stepping-stone. Knowing this allows him to try things others won’t, and to work harder when others usually quit.
24. The alpha male is stubborn. When he starts something he’s passionate about, no one can stop him or pull back on the reigns. He’s in it until the end. He’s also open-minded and willing to listen to other points of view. He knows he’s flawed.
25. The alpha male is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people. He passionately works hard. He’s excited by life, by the opportunity that each day presents. He’s genuine in every facet of who he is. Bred from curiosity, a genuine kindness, and a warrior’s heart, he is who he is, and all others follow him wherever he will lead them.”
With the characteristics out of the way, what do we as women want?
The answer is simple.
We desire a man who will love us, respect us, protect us, provide for us, be loyal to us, be there for us, listen to us, support us … be our everything…
Whether he is an Alpha or an Omega, we are his beginning and his end…and everything (I mean everything) in between!
He shows us how much he loves us and what we mean to him on two occasions – day and night!
I’m shaking in my boots as I am engulfed in his rapture and splendor!
Now, that’s what I’m talking about!
Photo credit:; Source:


By Vernalee

Stuff always come up.
Dealing with it can be stressful and challenging.
Let’s look at 31 things that the experts recommend removing.
1. Comparing yourself to others.
2. Creating unrealistic expectations for yourself.
3. Your social media obsession.
4. Bad spending habits.
5. Fear of the unknown.
6. Living in the past.
7. Putting off a vacation.
8. Your packed schedule.
9. Unhealthy relationships.
10. Waiting for the perfect moment.
11. The need to be in control of everything.
12. Relying on others to make you feel happy and fulfilled.
13. Avoid getting out of the house.
14. You need to have the best thing.
15. Your hesitation to indulge.
16. Feeling sorry for yourself.
17. Fear of failure.
18. Grudges.
19. Worrying what others think of you.
20. Your disgruntled lifestyle.
21. Controlling others.
22. Jealousy.
23. Blaming others for your mistakes.
24. A yearning to fit in.
25. Overanalyzing situations.
26. Friends who aren’t there for you.
27. Resisting change.
28. Being afraid to be yourself.
29. Holding onto items you don’t need.
30. Avoiding your problems.
31. Worrying about missing out.
How did you fare?
Let’s do what we need so that we can be happier and achieve greater success.
Photo credit and source:


By Vernalee
In 2 Chronicles 20:15, we read:
“Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
Allow me to share in words what songstress Yolanda Adams harmonically sings in praise to the lyrics of “The Battle Is Not Yours.”
“There is no pain Jesus can’t feel
No hurt He cannot heal
For all things work according to His perfect will
No matter what you’re going through
Remember God is using You
For the battle is not yours, it’s the Lord’s.”

Indulge me for a moment if you may.
I know that there are days that you feel down and out; pains that feel to heavy to bear; moments that crucify your spirits, but let me lift you up today, because we have a deliverer.
I heard about him years ago, but I didn’t know his true powers.
As I grew in my faith, things changed. My relationship strengthen with the Lord.
I felt the power of the Redeemer, the Prince of Peace, the man who was born to the Virgin Mary, who walked the streets of Nazareth and Galilee, who died so that we could have an everlasting life; the man that they called Jesus Christ.
Right now, please travel with me this Sunday Morning on an excursion to the banks of Lake Washington in my home town of Glen Allan, Mississippi, a quaint little city where the old folks wanted you to have a better life than them. Walk past the shotgun houses down the gravel paved road with the big ditches on Spencer Street.
Sit on the first row in the pews of Strangers Home Missionary Baptist Church.
Listen to the raspy voice of my Mother’s pastor sing in his heyday James Cleveland style with the pianist pumping those ebony and ivory keys.
Be filled with the spirit; be renewed in your faith; be cognizant of the fact that “can’t nobody do you like Jesus.”
It’s prayer time saints whether you live in Cleveland, Tucson, Milwaukee, NYC, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Chicago, Charlotte, Jacksonville, Tampa; Greenville, Yazoo City, Jackson or Glen Allan, Mississippi …. or wherever you rest your head!
It’s time to know in your heart and believe that no weapon formed against you will prosper.
It’s time to know that God will place your enemies at your footstool.
It’s time to throw your burdens upon the Lord & be obedient to his Word.
It’s time to know that God will never leave you or forsake you.
It’s time to know in your soul, feel in your flesh as your heart rapidly beats, and know in the inner corner of your mind – that the battle is not yours, it’s the Lord!
Know that the tasks ahead of you, no matter how difficult are not as great as the power behind you!
Know that God will fight your battles; you just need to sit still.
Believe in him; have mountainous faith; let God show you the way.
His mighty hands will protect you.
Be blessed!
Let the church say Amen!
Happy Sunday!
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By Vernalee
yum sugar
Growing up, my children acted as if they couldn’t survive without a morning bacon sandwich to get their day started.
They would even place “to go” orders!
The nerve of them!
Nevertheless, I obeyed!
I was the “Queen chef of bacon sandwiches.”
Here’s my secret recipe.
I toasted the bread, applied grape jelly, scrambled the eggs with cheese, and added layers of crispy bacon.
“Mommy, these sandwiches are – Yummy to our tummy and finger licking good.” Children will say anything for a meal and servitude; won’t they!
When we look back, we parents realize how our children had us in the palm of their hands.
Most parents can tell a story or two as to how they were a sucker.
Interesting, last week, my darling son made me a BLT sandwich.
It had bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, banana peppers, and a few more of his secret ingredients.
It was extremely tasty; delectable! Maybe, my cooking wasn’t in vain; maybe my children learned a few things! His bacon sandwich was so good that it “would make you want to slap your Mother!”
Of course, that is a Southern expression for good cooking. In real life, if you knew my Mother she could “put the fear of God in you” so much so that you would be too afraid to even contemplate the thought; let alone utter the words ….even in silence!
Now, let me see what my wonderful daughter has cooking!
I may have another free meal.
Hers is a surprise!
I’ll report on it later.
As you think of a dish that was special to you back in the day, you may be surprised if and when a loved one prepares that meal for you.
It will be thoughtful, tasty, as well as marvelous!
Bon appetit!
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By Vernalee
Some where on your journey of self discovery, you have probably read or heard about Rick Warren’s best seller, “A Purpose Driven Life.” Written from a spiritual perspective, the book examines 3 of life’s most important questions:
1. The Question of Existence: Why am I alive?
2. The Question of Significance: Does my life matter?
3. The Question of Purpose: What on earth am I here for?
According to Warren, “Living out the purpose you were created for moves you beyond mere survival and success to a life of significance—the life you were meant to live.”
It is never too late to examine and re-examine your life and your purpose.
As a child, I thought that the old folks in Mississippi were too intrusive by meddling into your business. Of course, I thought that they were ancient and knew nothing. Now I realize that they knew much!
Their simple twist to purpose was “Child, if you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.”
I confess.
I want to be better, live better, love better and be loved back.
I definitely want to treat people better with the highest degree of dignity and respect.
I want to exceed beyond expectations and do all within my purpose of living on this earth.
I just want to be what God intended and live according to His plan for me!
Don’t you?
I pray that God order my steps so that I can accomplish his glory.
It’s time to reshuffle.
Join me.
Let’s refocus and take this journey together.
I am bait, if you are game.
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By Vernalee
Last week, I stopped at PF Chang to pick up one of my favorite meals, Honey Chicken.
I am always anxious to open and read the message contained in my fortune cookie. My fortune cookie had this messsge.
“We can’t change the wind but we can adjust the sails!”
Intriguing, I’ll say.
We can’t change the wind, but we can adjust the sails is an expression that really means that –
we cannot control the things around us, but we can control our attitude, our actions and make our own choices.
Based upon the recent occurrences of hurricanes, we can attest to the fact that the power/strength of the wind and its path/direction cannot be controlled. To complex the matter even further is that we cannot see the wind. For certain, we can feel and see it effects. We can also hear its sometimes roar.
Sails, on the other hand, have a visible physical presence. Their triangular shape moves majestically as the power of the wind powers the movement and speed of the boat.
Adjusting the sail on a sailboat can help us to navigate the direction and speed by which we travel.
Sail boats and the velocity of the wind are in some respects similar to the travels in our life experiences.
And yes, our moves (adjustments of the sails) will demonstrate how we weather our storms.
We cannot in many cases control what happens, but we can navigate our responses; we can steer around and avoid troubles if we see them in time.
If we are given sufficient warnings and know that a storm is coming, we can turn the other way.
What we do and how we navigate will determine our outcomes . .. as we sail along, and in some cases alone.
And of course, we all want to sail in calm and peaceful waters.
We definitely want successful and healthy outcomes.
We may encounter confused periods and untraveled paths whereby we don’t know where to go or which way to turn.
We may even get lost a time or two.
Getting to where we need to go may be as tough as finding the answers or roadmaps to get there.
It’s no fun to be wandering around with no end in sight.
For sure, we don’t want to get lost and just float to No Where Land; not knowing where we are or how to get back to shore.
We want more successes than failures.
Therefore, we will probably be continuously adjusting our sails as we move through life.
Without question that would be the smart thing to do, particularly if we want to stay on the right course.
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