Archive for December, 2017


By Vernalee
Which are you?
Does it matter?
Sure it does.
Both have pros and cons.
If you are the driver, you control the speed, the stops, and the turns; who you pick up and who you put out.
When you are in the driver’s seat, it is imperative that you concentrate.
You have to watch your moves and those of the other drivers.
Is there less stress on the passenger than the driver?
It depends!
The passenger may be “a back seat driver”
telling the driver where to turn, etc. Since passengers are not behind the wheel, sure they can look out the windows, watch the scenery, but they can also see views and dangers that the driver can’t see.
Passengers can help the driver navigate, aid him/her, and in many cases help prevent accidents.
They can see things coming from the sides while the driver is watching the front and rear views.
As long as they are riding together, both the driver and passenger arrive at the same destination.
Basically, it boils down to who is at the wheel; who is in control.
The control element is that you don’t want to end up in a destination that is not for you.
Neither do you want to arrive at the wrong place.
Your goal is to arrive safely; drama free.
Sometimes as you travel, the road gets bumpy. The steering become more strenuous.
You might have to stop, get out of the car, ask your passenger to leave, or the passenger may request getting out.
The ride or destination may not be right.
You catch my drift?
It’s a wonderful thing, if and when the passenger and driver are in sync.
With similar views, they can help each other as they collectively navigate their course.
It can be a beautiful ride with minimal turbulence…and great outcomes!
Are we discussing who’s in the car or are we discussing relationships?
Regardless … the same principles apply.
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By Vernalee
“Your time will come; you will eventually come into your own.”
Destiny, luck, training, education, generational wisdom, preparation, planning … in addition to a few other factors will determine where we land.
Eventually, everyone can succeed at something! That is what we optimists believe, think, and feel.
Sure, there will be those individuals who do not wish you well; those who are filled with envy, jealousy, and spite.
Relegate them to a place that is out of sight; out of mind.
Negative energies have no place in your life!
Since the days of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, we have heard the popular phrase, “Every dog has its day.”
Keep an open mind and with positive reinforcement, you may take hold of another saying, “Success bequeaths us all.”
You may eventually become the cat’s meow and you might be “cooler than the summer breeze,” but nothing barks louder than success!
It takes time, but remember this – “Every dog has its day and a good dog has two!”
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By Vernalee
Don’t make yourself target practice for other people.
If danger lurks, get out of the way. Be cognizant of the signs. Watch your surroundings and associations.
Unfortunately, in some circumstances, we have to “be and stay on the lookout!” Though that is an uncomfortable position, it beats the alternative – walking around with a target on your back!
Bulls eye is not a friendly term if somone is aiming at you!
Stay out of their range!
Being a target and dodging attacks are not on most folk’s wish list; quite the contrary!
Survival and removal from controversy make up the optimal scenario. The bow and arrow can stay in its case!
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By Vernalee

Yogi Berra said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
Great leaders are decision makers.
Sometimes, we may tend to make decisions for others rather than empowering them to make their own. It’s easier and less time consuming – we think.
How many of you are guilty of that?
Good leaders and teachers help others
by engaging them in the process which will ultimately enable them to function without us.
Thus the goal is this – Give others decision-making tools rather than making the decisions for them.
Here’s how we can do it:
9 Ways you can help others make great decisions.
1. Connect them with people that have experience and expertise.
2. Help them identify the real problem/challenge. Ask what the problem is and then say it back to them.
3. Explore risk tolerance. Ask what they are willing to lose. (Realize people tend to be overly optimistic.)
4. Inspire them to lean toward doing something. Bolster their confidence.
5. Help them explore, examine and then express their values. Ask what makes you tick.
6. Encourage them to examine expected outcomes. Ask what if …
7. Clarify and then connect their life-purpose with anticipated outcomes. Ask how this decision takes them where they want to go.
8. Explore pros and cons for each available option. Ask what could go wrong and what could go right.
9. Allow the significance of each decision to determine the time allotted to make it and then set decision-deadlines. Ask when they can pull the trigger.
Simply stated: Teach rather than do.
You will grow; so will they!
Photo credit: www.pathdocs/shutterstoic; Source:


By Vernalee
There are only so many times that you can kick a dog before it bites.

It is a known fact that dogs are loyal. They love their masters and will protect them at any cost.
They are happy to see their masters come home and sad when they are away. No wonder, dogs are considered man’s best friend.
They are very affectionate pets and unhestitantly obey their master’s requests.
There are countless documented stories that show dogs’ devotion, loyalty, obedience, affection, and love.
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie were mainstream television shows that showed this attachment.
The love is mutual between dogs and their owners. Dogs remain right by their master’s side no matter what; “come hell or high waters.”
They don’t judge or flip flop depending on their moods. Sure, they depend on their masters for food, substance, and shelter; nonetheless, their devotion is unparalleled.
Given these scenarios, dogs are also responsive and instinctive. Just like any thing else, their animalistic instincts and sensitivities make them highly reactive.
Though dogs generally don’t turn on their masters, even a dog can become vicious if they are constantly mistreated.
They can attack; they will attack!
Those loyal stand by their master’s side creatures will bite if they are pushed to the limit.
All species have this instinct; even man! Need I say more; a hint to the wise is sufficient!
Get the point?
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By Vernalee
all about
In the beginning God created the family. Scriptural counsel clearly outlines the foundation for families when Eve was created as a companion for Adam; when they were told to be fruitful and multiply; and to bring up their children with an obedience to the Word.
The Bible defines the familial roles for husbands, wives, and children.
Indeed, the family is God’s masterpiece; a testament of his love.
Families provide love, cohesiveness, and unity.
As a team, families confront and deal with concerns and problems.
There is strength and comfort in numbers. Who knew that better than our Heavenly Father?
I love, adore, cherish, and respect my family!
I have always seen my role to maternally and solidly provide guidance, wisdom, protection, and teaching to my family. I pray that I measure up to God’s standards.
I also ask and pray for God’s love, support, direction, and blessings as we as a family lovingly, diplomatically, and obediently move progressively forward as a united front following his Word. We need each other today, tomorrow, always!
Prayer strengthens us; it always has; it always will!
Let the family say Amen!
Happy Sunday!
God bless!
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By Vernalee
Most of us have special touches that we utilize to decorate our homes.
Without question, my photo collection is mine.
Even if I may brag, it is quite impressive!
I have assembled photos that tell a story.
This collection tells my family’s history … and more!
There are photos of the kids at Disney world; my daughter in her ballerina outfit; my son at his prom; my Mother hugging her grandson; the grandchildren; my nieces/nephews; yours truly; and so much more!
Recentky, I added a vintage piece of my great-grandmother Minnie that my Mother “handed down” to me. Dressed in a long wool coat and tall hat, we grew up hearing stories about her. One in particular was the tale of her pulling a man off of a horse. Looking at her petite figure, you wonder how!
Alright, great granny!
I am thrilled at the thought of placing such a prized possession of my great granny framed in an old oval wooden frame on my wall. It’s a family heirloom.
That’s right, these photos are very telling and historical. There’s a story embodied in each!
Many guests stay on the landing of the stairs for an extensive period of time wall gazing/viewing my photographic collection.
I have portraits, photos, and collages of the majority of my family. Assembly of the photographs is a continuous and meticulous undertaking.
Recently, my young great niece was photo gazing and said, “Aunt Verna loves us because she has our pictures on her wall!” How touching!
That comment paid for the frames and my efforts!
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By Vernalee

Who is in your starting lineup?
Who is on your support team?
Who will carry the ball?

Who will pick you up if you fall?
Before you answer, let me preface by saying that no man is an island!
You may not need anyone right now, but sooner or later you will; I assure you! Don’t wait until crunch time to find out who is there; if anyone!
Winning teams put their best players in their starting lineups.
So should you!
When players have great chemistry, there is nothing but nets!
Hopefully, you are cultivating a following and unselfishly living your life in such a way that someone will be willing to play ball on your court!
Here we go …
1. Don’t be a hypocrite – Walk the talk! Give before you take!
2. It is a huge blessing to have devoted life players that you can call who have the love, time, ability and sincerity to give you solid advice; provide wisdom in decision making; charge your battery when you are down; push you to be your best; encourage, motivate, and challenge you; pick you up and carry you if you fall; be your friend; and be there for you in times of need.
3. Having someone that you can talk to, pour your heart out to, be your confidante, and listen non-judgmentally is priceless. My heart bleeds for people who have no one!
My Mother always say, “If you live long enough, you will need somebody to bring you a glass of water.” How true!
For the privileged ones who think that they need no one because they are sitting on boat loads of money and assets, please know that there are so many things that money can’t buy! Genuine love, caring, concern, compassion … are among them.
Knowing that you have someone on your team who will provide a dose of love is comforting! It can be just what the doctor ordered!
4. Remove yourself from the company of those arrogant/selfish teammates whose noses are so high in the air that they could care less about anyone but themselves.
5. Be what you seek; be a sterling example of love and humility … and surround yourself with those who are driven to score wholesome victories in life!
5. Love, caring, assistance, empathy, sincerity, kindness … are the “balls” that we and those in our lineup should carry.
They will yield the winning combinations. When you have extended your hand to help, hopefully someone will remember and reach back.
No other score matters!
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By Vernalee
Phenomenal Woman
By Maya Angelou

“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”
Phenomenal woman.
The poem not only is inspiring, it describes so many women who have been in my life. Thank you Dr. Maya Angelou for your words, courage, inspiration, and gifts to the world and me! Nobody could speak the words quite like you! I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to see and hear you recount your many stories, read poetry, speak in several languages, sing, and inspire your audience. I witnessed your commanding, captivating presence that made us hungry for more.
How phenomenal!
Your words stuck to me as I am sure that they have become “glue” to so many others.
Though gone, your words, books, poetry, and advice will last forever.
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By Vernalee
The countdown has begun. It’s like watching the ball drop on New Year’s Eve in NYC.
All eyes are on our buddy who has embraced everyone with the utmost inferior and disgusting treatment.
A top notched schemer, this person has lied, cheated, talked to most folks like trash …. and escaped punishment.
So many people have been mistreated.
All reigns come to an end!
Of course, no one is wishing the individual any harm (I don’t think), but all are watching to see the yellow belly cowardly disposition escape their outwardly and inwardly presence when the ax falls!
No … We are not in the casino, but wagers are being taken that the person cannot take a mini sip of his/her own medicine.
Wanna bet?
Poor thing!
Why can they swallow one ounce of what they have poured out?
Sure, he/she is a “pill,” and has always been.
I am not a high roller, but I have a respectful $50.00 wager on the table that they cannot take it!
What’s your bet?
Ante up!
I don’t mind if yours is higher!
We will have more dollars to spend collectively when we watch him uncomfortably “lay in the bed that he made for himself!”
Pity those who can dish it out , but cannot take it in!
I leave you with quote.
Though rather long, it’s worth the read.
Whether people can take what they dish out is not always clear.
Being the bigger person is; it’s the key that unlocks the door to your ease of contentment!
A Taste of Your Own Medicine
“Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine.
They already know what it tastes like.
Give them a taste of your own medicine.
If they lied, let your medicine be honesty.
If they played with your emotions, let your medicine be maturity.
If they broke you, let your medicine heal.
If they made you cry, let your medicine make them smile.
These remedies of yours may take years to work, but they work. And they last.
So be patient. Stay true to yourself.
And remember this:
It is better for people to value you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.
Who you are lasts a lifetime.
Who you pretend to be changes like the change of seasons.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if it means removing yourself from lives that you want to be in.
You are, no doubt, worthy of being valued for who you are.
So be who you are.”
– Najwa Zebian

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