As a little boy, my son loved the video shorts that aired on Saturday Mornings called School House Rock. One of his favorite shows and songs was called “Conjunction Function.” It went like this:
“Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, what’s their function?
I got “and”, “but”, and “or”,
They’ll get you pretty far.”
He loved that song. I did too!
Yes, conjunctions are amazing connectors. We used them regularly and judiciously.
Switching gears from then to now and from adolescence to adulthood, allow me to show you the relevant impact of conjunctions. Ready, set, go!
First though, I’ve got a question for you.
How is your relationship these days?
“It is alright, BUT …”
That response brings to the forefront the realization that “the difference between a healthy romantic relationship and one that most likely won’t work out is the word “BUT.” That elementary three letter word (BUT) is indeed simple BUT has a powerful complex connotation. It is normally used to indicate an impossibility or express an objection.
One expert provides us with helpful common sense advice. When in a relationship, “LISTEN to yourself when you are talking to your friends about the person that you purportedly love. Listen to the words that come out of your mouth. They reveal everything about whether or not the relationship is making you happy.
When a relationship is good (healthy) there are no “BUTS.” That is not to say that a healthy relationship is perfect. It isn’t. But rather that when someone is truly making you happy, you are only sharing good news about that person and your relationship. In fact, you may catch yourself incessantly, favorably, and unconsciously talking about the pleasantries that he brings.
Listen up. If a friend asks you, “How is your guy?” and you answer in one of these ways, the man is a keeper.
My guy is:
1. The best.
2. A total sweetheart.
3. Great, he surprised me yesterday and showed up at my house with lunch.
4. We are having so much fun!
5. I just love him.
6. Kind, caring, and giving.
7. I’m just really happy.
8. I’ve been waiting for him all my life.”
9. I definitely feel as if I am an integral part of his life/plans and not merely an after thought. He includes me in it all; everything.
10. I enjoy our time together. He maximizes every moment and is not sporadic with his time and resources. He is always around and I want him to be. I love his presence.
Relationships develop “a theme” very early on. In other words, the stage is set almost from the start, and whatever the issues are, they will usually be there for the entire relationship. So if you hear yourself saying, “I love him “BUT” ….” something is wrong; drastically wrong!” The question should become, “Can it be fixed?”
Often times, we hide behind excuses rather than deal with the heart of the issue. We don’t like to impose injuries and certainly don’t want to hurt his feelings. It’s funny when it’s not reciprocal. His feelings and interactions with you may not reflect the same sentiments. We can routinely hide behind the truth. Here again, we would tell him BUT …
We have to kiss the word “BUT” goodbye if we want our relationship to flourish and survive. Removing it from our vocabulary is a start; from our relationship is a plus. “BUT” is that one word that stands tall between you and success.
There you have it, “BUT” I can’t make you do it!
Photo credit: www.mightymirth.com; Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/Jackie Polpssoph