By Vernalee
Zzzz! Do I hear someone snoring? It’s not me, but I am struggling to keep my eyes open! Whether in our personal or professional lives, being with a person who is completely boring is challenging. Have you ever been in a meeting with one? Oh my!
You probably know just as many boring people as I do. Stop counting! That’s not nice! Try to stay awake. They can put you to sleep; can’t they?
Without fail, here are some of their habits:
1. “Boring people have unbalanced conversations.
Instead of finding a rhythm between talking and listening, boring people are on either conversational extreme.
Either they are – all listening and no talking, or all talking and no listening.
2. Boring people can’t tell if people are engaged in the conversation.
If you’re emphatically boring, you’re probably missing the other person’s body language.
What makes a person boring is the “continual blathering and ignoring of signals and body language that say (perhaps not loudly enough) ‘I’m not interested in what you’re saying, but am nodding every few seconds only to be polite.'”
3. Boring people can’t make people laugh.
Humor shows “cognitive flexibility”: the ability to assess an idea or an event from a variety of perspectives, and then, naturally, make light of it. Boring people lack it.
4. Boring people always do the same thing.
What makes a person boring is living a sedentary life without variety. Diverse experiences improve one’s conversation. You actually have something to talk about.
5. Boring people never have anything to say in conversations.
A “boor” is somebody who’s loud and insensitive to the social situation, but a boring person can also be overly circumspect.
Where the loud bore believes they are the most interesting person there is, the quiet bore believes it’s best to never say anything because who would want to listen to them? These are the ones that reply to every inquiry with some variant of ‘I dunno, sort of, I guess.'”
6. Boring people don’t have their own opinions.
If you haven’t thought critically about what it is you think, you’re not going to have much to offer in conversation.
People that do not see past what they were taught to believe are the boring ones. These people can only offer their very localized view on a variety of topics.
7. Boring people don’t know how to tell a good story.
To interest someone and to truly engage others, you have to be able to tell a story. And you have to care about that story. You also have to solicit stories out of others. And you have to care about those stories.
8. Boring people can’t see things from other people’s perspectives.
Boring people are usually those who can’t (or won’t) understand how the conversation is experienced from the other person’s perspective. The ability to place oneself in another person’s shoes makes someone interesting to talk to. Emotional intelligence is key to conversation.
9. Boring people don’t have anything new to add.
Research reveals that we’re basically hard-wired to seek novelty. The conversational takeaway: If you don’t provide anything new to the listener, they’re not going to be stimulated.
A boring person is someone from whom we cannot learn anything new. Many boring people give out cues pretty early in a relationship.
10. Boring people don’t include anybody in the conversation.
What makes someone boring is the inability to include the others with interest into the conversation which is usually what happens when the ‘boring’ person just wants their point to be told with too much detail that isn’t relevant.
This goes along with the empathy thing: If you can’t figure out that someone in the circle of conversation is feeling left out, you’re boring.”
Stop adding the people to your list who fit that mold. You don’t have enough space. Shut up! Why? You couldn’t make up the things that they (the boring folks) say or do even if you tried. Well that’s my explanation of boring people. Now, I’m bored stiff! Please wake me up at the end of this article. I became so bored writing about boring people that I fell asleep!
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