Archive for the ‘General Stuff’ Category


By Vernalee
Are you out on a limb?
Are you out there by yourself when everyone else is comfortably sitting down in their Lazyboy recliners?
Why; may I ask or is it none of my business?
Being out on a limb typically places you in a difficult, vulnerable position where you lack support.
It’s not a desirable position and poses great risks.
Oops, watch it; be careful that you don’t fall!
I just made an interesting observation: No one is facing the risks but you! Amazing!
It’s not the best way to learn survival techniques, but if you are out there, it will teach you a lesson or two including.
**Preventing and minimizing risks.
**Balancing techniques.
**Minimizing the risks of falling to avoid physical and emotional injuries.
Hanging onto that skinny limb will also show you whose on your side, whose not; and who will be there to catch you if you fall!
Hopefully, the answers to those questions are illuminating.
Who might it be; who will be your catcher?
Or are you out there alone?
I hope that you don’t come up short! People that you thought that you could count on can disappear faster than you can blink your eyes!
The worst case scenario is that if no one is there, for certain, the hard ground will catch you … bruises and all!
In the future, limit your exposure! Walking on flat ground is a better choice than being on a limb!
You decide!
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By Vernalee
I have frequently heard my great nieces and nephews say to a third party, “This is an A / B conversation, no C’s allowed.” Translated, that quote essentially means, “Mind your business!” After all, the joining talker wasn’t invited to the conversational “party.” Wouldn’t it be simpler, easier, and less work, if we stayed out of other folks’ affairs? By doing so, it would provide us with a timeless opportunity to improve our inadequacies rather than get involved with others’ issues. Just think how much better we would be and how much extra time we would have to concentrate on whatever suits our fancy! As comedian Flip Wilson once said, “Loose lips sink ships!” Indeed, they do; so stay afloat by stop being so nosey!
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By Vernalee
wall street
Scheming people play games. They are so Machiavellian! Their object is to fool or undermine folks with manipulative ploys. Sometimes, it works; other times, it doesn’t. The solution is simple: Be man or woman enough to confront the issues. Don’t be the person behind the mask. Stop using other people to do your dirty work. Stop being a coward. Grow up! People are not your puppets. In fact, it is disrespectful. Dangling people on your so called strings may give you power and control. Just remember that one day, the strings may break; the roles may change! Who knows! You may one day not be the manipulator; you may be manipulated!
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By Vernalee
You and I have witnessed behavior that makes you go – hmmm! Complexing, you may not believe what your eyes saw or what your ears heard!
Corrective lenses or hearing aids won’t do Justice! You ask, “Who do those rascals think that they’re fooling?” Some of the game players closely resemble the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde types.
Their mannerisms is dual to say the least. Before you can respond to their acts or comments, you first have to determine which personality (Jekyll or Hyde) is being portrayed.
Confusing; sure it is. As radical as that may be, their duplicitous behavior and their shenanigans require encyclopedic interpretations.
Even Sigmund Freud would be challenged! Entering our space are those folks who try to “make a monkey of (or out of) someone.”
Those are the ones that are more radical or shall I say they “take the cake.”
In simple terms, their goal is to humiliate someone by making them appear ridiculous.
Some go as far as to try to make a laughingstock of, ridicule, or poke fun at someone. Many are successful at their ploys; initially, that is.
Be careful! The tables will and can turn. Payback is no joke!
Hint: Don’t end up trying to make someone else look like a monkey and make a fool out of yourself! Holy hallelujah! If that happens … that monkey that you ridiculed … remember him/her … will have the last laugh … on you!
What a monkeyshine of a deal!
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By Vernalee
Speaking of pets, we have had our share! When my children were growing up, we had six dogs; affectionately and respectively named Pooch, Miss Brown, Jerry, Nobody, Freeway, and Stebo.
Our pets were incredibly and equally loved; by us and vice versa. I personally do not have pets anymore, but my son does.
His pet, Tiger, is an old English bull dog, originally owned by his late Daddy. The dog weighs over 100 pounds.
He is ferocious looking, but according to my son, he is as “gentle as a lamb.” My son says that sometimes he forgets that Tiger is a dog, because he acts like a child. He runs around playing with his squeaky toys all day. Lovable and adorable he is! Tiger receives love and shows love all day. He truly loves his master as he loves him.
Tiger as most pets become an extension of the family; the love is reciprocal!
Suffice to say, it demonstrates that we were created to love and be loved. We all need it … even our four legged friends!
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By Vernalee
We use metaphors from time to time to bring home a point. They tend to help us see a situation clearer.
“An Elephant in the room” is an metaphorical idiom that refers to an obvious truth that is going unaddressed or to an obvious problem or risk that no one wants to discuss. It is so profound as the expression is focused around the idea or thought that an elephant because of its sheer size would be impossible to overlook. Agreed? Although a truism, it occurs; frequently at that!
The impossibility of this carefree ignorance makes it all the more interesting. How can we ignore a problem or issue that is clearly right before our eyes particularly when the problem is blatantly obvious or too big to go unnoticed? Because it is a big problem/issue/truth, how can we push it under the rug? We can’t! We are only fooling ourselves and others! If we don’t deal with the elephant, it will continue to take up space in our minds, our lives, and our homes.
We will remain uncomfortable because there is no comfort when the elephant is blocking our view and our reasoning! It’s too big to evaporate through osmosis!
Why do we refuse to acknowledge the elephant’s presence?
There are many reasons. Denial is a predominant one! It may take some effort and time, but we can remove the elephant from our view; from our space. Do know that our problems will not fade away in the sunset. We have to address them. Until that is done, there will likely not be comfort in our lives!
Wave goodbye to the elephant!
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By Vernalee

“The duck test is a form of inductive reasoning.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
The test implies that a person can identify an unknown subject by observing that subject’s habitual characteristics. Said simply, things are often what they appear to be.”
Don’t fail the test by ignoring the simple rules and making someone something that they are not.
Believe what you see.
Don’t make people someone that they are not to satisfy your ego.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Remember the duck test!
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By Vernalee
Building trust is a hard task. Of course, we know how difficult it is to trust someone in our personal relationships. Elevating that same trust factor to business associations takes us to another level. Without question, the average person likes dealing with someone that they like and can trust. When in your business relationships, trustworthiness affect your bottom line, it becomes a more serious matter. When it determines how much money we make and how much is directed elsewhere, it takes on a whole different meaning. When money is involved, so is seriousness. It becomes a different ball game; totally.
There are seven concrete actions that build trust in a business environment. “These actions build trust primarily through sincerity, reliability, communication, commitment, consistency, and competence. Let’s take a look.

1. Demonstrate that you trust others.
One way to do this is to be generous and forgiving when someone else makes a mistake or disappoints you in some way. People who always jump to the worst conclusion about a person’s competence or motivation inspire wariness, not trust.
Most people don’t set out to be mean or stupid, so give them the benefit of the doubt until you have contrary information that proves you wrong. You’ll feel better about them, and they’ll trust you for your generosity.

2. Create relationships that are mutually beneficial.
Customers, coworkers and employees all want to believe that they are making the right decision to work with you. This takes a lot more than clichés and platitudes. Customers should clearly understand the value of your products and services to them. Likewise, employees should feel good about taking ownership, which introduces an added measure of accountability and demonstrates the level of trust you have in them.
In other words, trust is about showing people that you care about them. In turn, they will care about and trust you.

3. Directly address issues.
Ruffled feathers are inevitable in any relationship. How you deal with concerns and problems is what instills trust and loyalty. In the course of a busy business day, it’s easy to get distracted and become disconnected with what’s happening on the front lines.
Customer trust develops from the first contact and extends through service delivery, implementation, care and support. At each step, you can either damage or enhance this experience for your customers. That’s why it’s so important to deliver on promises if you want to be trusted.
If you want people to trust you, you have to care. Address complaints fast. Share information. Gain their confidence. Exude pride and passion about your business. Resolve conflicts quickly. These actions separate you from the pack, while also building and maintaining trust.

4. Tell the truth.
Let’s say that one more time for good measure — tell the truth.
Never assume that certain people can’t handle the truth. Be as honest with your employees and customers as you expect them to be with you. If you get caught in a lie, no one will trust you. You don’t often get a second chance to make a first impression, so don’t count on it.
Keeping your promises is also a part of telling the truth. Don’t commit to a promise you can’t deliver. Think about what’s realistic, and do your best to live up to your word.

5. Be flexible and patient.
Be tolerant of mistakes, and don’t be an inflexible judge. Meet the other person in the middle. Be considerate of events and negative experiences that may have affected one’s ability to trust. Make exceptions to the rules when common sense dictates. Consider unusual alternatives for problems that can’t be resolved by typical methods.
Remember, trust is built over time, especially when you deal with someone who isn’t fortunate enough to have experienced trust in his or her own life.

6. Respect their time.
I believe that people in our society are losing their sense of civility, courtesy and respect. To get people to trust you, you will be well-served to raise your awareness of other people’s time, personal schedule and needs. This means you should:
Promptly return phone calls
Promptly reply to emails and thoroughly address all points raised
Be on time for meetings, and log on to a scheduled call two minutes in advance of start time
Hold fast to estimated call end times, and inquire if attendees are free to keep going.

7. Deliver the unexpected.
The best way to deliver trust is to surprise and delight clients and customers. Give them what they asked for, but on top of that, deliver more — more service, more time, more convenience and more sensitivity. Delivering more than they expect goes a long way and adds real value and trust. As a bonus, customers will tell others about how you delivered more. This should net you more business.
George MacDonald, the nineteenth century Scottish author and poet, said “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” In business, that’s the kind of compliment you can take to the bank.”
Now if you can master these business trust factors professionally, you can exercise many of the same forms of engagement in your personal life. I’m sorry. That may be more challenging since you find it hard to trust anyone! So I close with this question. Where is the balance when you expect others to trust you when you will not allow yourself to trust anyone? Just asking!
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By Vernalee
view from the corner
In a clandestine fashion, backstabbers carry their knives behind their backs aiming at yours. Your self defense is limited when you cannot see your attacker. That is why the “back” is a perfect area to attack. Backstabbed use clever, cowardly, and sneaky maneuvers! Although there is no frontal view of the weaponry, the aim is to destroy you with calculated stabs. Unfortunately, many who have fallen at the hand of the backstabbers didn’t see the dagger until they were hit, because the attacker had a glowing 100 kilowatt smile from ear to ear before the tragic blow. Deception is one of their strongest suits.
The vicious backstabbers will not only stab you, but turn the knife if given the opportunity. Of course, annihilation is their goal.
Don’t feel bad, the best of us have been fooled by those smiley faces. Learn from experiences and don’t get stabbed twice! Self preservation is the first law of nature. Outsmarting the attacker should be your goal!
Be careful of who you allow access into your space and life.
If they are found to be unworthy, remove them or yourself.
If you don’t, watch your back!
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By Vernalee
Incompetencies have roots!
If you are a gardener, you know that “one rotten apple can spoil the whole bunch” if it lays there!
Smart farmers throw out the bad seeds and the bad fruits!
Should we follow suit by disassociating with individuals/circumstances that can contaminate?
Wise you may be if you cut the ties.
Removal may even be your saving grace;
particularly when it is rotten to the bones.
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