Archive for the ‘General Stuff’ Category


By Vernalee
Ladies –
How big is your purse and how much should you daily carry are fascinating questions with answers as numerous as the sky is blue. It’s an individual choice for sure, but allow me to share an interesting concept about purse sizes and its contents. After years of deliberation, I was converted to carrying a smaller purse and not my traditional large sized purse that resembled a small piece of luggage.
Here are some of the great benefits to carrying less in your purse.
* A smaller purse with fewer contents will not physically weigh you down.
* Carrying less means less to lose by theft, or accidentally leaving your purse behind.
* You don’t have to search for your car keys in a small purse.
* If your cell phone is ringing, from your purse, you can turn it off or answer the call with less distraction.
* You will feel lighter when you’re not responsible for carrying around everything that you think you might need.
So, back to the original question – how big is your purse? How much does it weigh?
After watching a Today Show episode, the question regarding the weight of a woman’s purse stirred curiosity. So the hosts brought out a scale. Hoda Kotb’s purse weighed 11 pounds; while Kathie Lee’s weighed 2 lbs. and some change. Carrying around 11 pounds is tantamount to walking with a 10 lb. plus bag of sugar on your shoulder. Ouch! There have been correlations to the weight of purses to shoulder, neck, and back pain. I know that fact to be true! Oh my aching back! Thus, we should try to carry only basic essentials. You may not believe this but that determination was not easy! It was difficult for me to decide what I needed. So I came up with a workable solution. I can be a genius occasionally! I scaled back on the size of my purse. The smaller the purse; the less it contains; the less it weighs! Clever; right?
I realized that the purse’s content was no joke when my friend couldn’t find her keys last week and emptied her purse. Inside, she had a makeup bag that was as big as a small purse; her cell phone, it’s charger, and earphones; a journal; hair utensils; her wallet; a coupon case; nail polish; tissues; a huge pack of gum; a large bag of peppermint and Hall’s cough drops; a bottle of aspirins; a sewing kit; her sunglasses; and a few other miscellaneous items; so much that I lost count. No wonder she couldn’t find her keys! Oh by the way for those inquiring minds, her keys were in her jacket pocket. She probably put them there because there was no room in her purse. Go figure!
So if you have everything but the kitchen sink in your purse, start unpacking. That’s my thought!
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By Vernalee
Don’t make yourself target practice for other people.
If danger lurks, get out of the way. Be cognizant of the signs. Watch your surroundings and associations.
Unfortunately, in some circumstances, we have to “be and stay on the lookout!” Though that is an uncomfortable position, it beats the alternative – walking around with a target on your back!
Bulls eye is not a friendly term if somone is aiming at you!
Stay out of their range!
Being a target and dodging attacks are not on most folk’s wish list; quite the contrary!
Survival and removal from controversy make up the optimal scenario. The bow and arrow can stay in its case!
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By Vernalee

Yogi Berra said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
Great leaders are decision makers.
Sometimes, we may tend to make decisions for others rather than empowering them to make their own. It’s easier and less time consuming – we think.
How many of you are guilty of that?
Good leaders and teachers help others
by engaging them in the process which will ultimately enable them to function without us.
Thus the goal is this – Give others decision-making tools rather than making the decisions for them.
Here’s how we can do it:
9 Ways you can help others make great decisions.
1. Connect them with people that have experience and expertise.
2. Help them identify the real problem/challenge. Ask what the problem is and then say it back to them.
3. Explore risk tolerance. Ask what they are willing to lose. (Realize people tend to be overly optimistic.)
4. Inspire them to lean toward doing something. Bolster their confidence.
5. Help them explore, examine and then express their values. Ask what makes you tick.
6. Encourage them to examine expected outcomes. Ask what if …
7. Clarify and then connect their life-purpose with anticipated outcomes. Ask how this decision takes them where they want to go.
8. Explore pros and cons for each available option. Ask what could go wrong and what could go right.
9. Allow the significance of each decision to determine the time allotted to make it and then set decision-deadlines. Ask when they can pull the trigger.
Simply stated: Teach rather than do.
You will grow; so will they!
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By Vernalee
Phenomenal Woman
By Maya Angelou

“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”
Phenomenal woman.
The poem not only is inspiring, it describes so many women who have been in my life. Thank you Dr. Maya Angelou for your words, courage, inspiration, and gifts to the world and me! Nobody could speak the words quite like you! I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to see and hear you recount your many stories, read poetry, speak in several languages, sing, and inspire your audience. I witnessed your commanding, captivating presence that made us hungry for more.
How phenomenal!
Your words stuck to me as I am sure that they have become “glue” to so many others.
Though gone, your words, books, poetry, and advice will last forever.
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By Vernalee
The English proverb, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar” is “as clear as day!”
Though a metaphorical expression, its application works in real life; with flies, and with people.
It is so much easier to be polite and kind than to be mean and hateful.
People respond better to favorable treatment.
Interesting, people never forget unkind acts and those mean poisonous words that were written or said.
They hurt!
They may even come back to haunt you!
Remember that when you get ready to “tell someone off!” You might have to apologize … afterwards. Try not to put yourself in such compromising positions, because people have the option – to accept or reject – your apology.
That’s why “honey filled” conduct is better.
Besides, honey has so many other useful purposes. It’s a sweetener that also tastes good. Yum! Southern folks even say it’s medicinal. A spoonful in warm water spiked with lemons cures colds; it’s comforting to the throat. I say that kindness, considerate speech, and behavior take you much further than their counterparts!
Clearly, there is a distinct difference between sweetness and bitterness.
Hopefully, your wisdom will help you make a “honey” of a choice! The Turkish proverb tells us that “Kind words will unlock an iron door.”
Let me close with a few acts of demonstrated politeness and kindness that cost you nothing.
Take a look.
1. Telephone a lonely person.
2. Hold the door open for someone.
3. Help a disabled person.
4. Compliments – pay a few.
5. Drive with kindness; not road rage.
6. Express gratitude.
7. Reach out to a person in need.
8. Donate to the needy.
9. Volunteer your time.
10. Teach your kids kindness.
11. Show affection.
12. Listen to someone who has a problem.
13. Give flowers to an elderly person.
14. Smile.
These are simple things to do, but their value goes far.
Though these acts may not be as sweet as honey, they are nourishing to the soul – yours and the person(s) that you help.
For every act that you do, I say, “Thank you honey!”
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By Vernalee

Your mind is exceptionally powerful. Think about it! As you think, take a look at these questions.
“50 Questions that will free your mind:
These questions have no right or wrong answers. However, sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Are you thinking?”
If these questions didn’t make you think, nothing will. For sure, they are food for thought; many thoughts at that. Your answers will free your mind and without a doubt give you much to think about.
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By Vernalee
If you’ll heard it once, you have heard it a zillion times.
Misery loves company.
Yes, it’s true that some unhappy people like other people to be unhappy too.
In fact, some people who are unhappy may get some consolation from knowing that others are unhappy. They may if given the opportunity contribute to your misery.
I’m glad that you and I don’t fit that mold!
Adding to the misery loves company idiom, there are other similiat expression that borders this area.
Check these out!
* Misery loves company, but karma will come full circle.
* Be so busy living your life that there is no time for hate, regret, worry, fret, or fear.
* There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away, the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.
* Misery loves company, but happiness is a better friend.
* Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.
* Bad company corrupts good character.
* The biggest barrier to happiness is association with miserable and angry people.
* Associate yourself with people of good quality for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
* Never tell your problems to just anyone… 20% don’t care and the other 75% are glad you have them. You are one of the fortunate ones if you can find 5% who cares.
* Be careful who you listen to…Not everyone that speaks into your life has your best interest at heart.
* Fake people are the worst people. They always appear to be happy. When inside, they’re so jealous & hurting over someone else’s life …!
* Go ahead judge me, just remember to be perfect the rest of your life.
Remember this important fact.
Misery (just like its opposite companion, joy) comes from within.
Misery doesn’t have to stay.
It can be replaced.
It is difficult to be productive if you are miserable and drowning in a river of sorrow.
Move to the next level and realize your dreams,
Lift yourself up; be in the company of positive people.
I like to be up, not down; laugh not cry; happy not sad.
Don’t you?
Negativity is just not my cup of tea!
Positiveness is so much better!
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By Vernalee
To speak your mind is to say what you think about something very directly.
Some folks put a colloquial spin to the words with the street vernacular such as “Have your say; let your voice be heard; make it plain, or sound off.”
To speak your mind is not as easy as it seems.
Sometimes it is easier to say what people want to hear rather than tell them the truth.
Particularly this is the case for people who are relatively close to you.
It may be hard to rationalize, because the same folks that you may cushion your comments toward don’t care what they say to you.
They just blurt it out; whether distasteful or not.
Should you do the same?
Your rationale for holding back may not add up. What’s even worse is not telling them what you truthfully think! It’s irrational behavior.
Since we’re never too old to start over, maybe, we should do what the experts say and apply these rules:
1. Don’t overly worry about how people might react to you speaking your mind.
2. Don’t let aggressive people intimidate you.
3. Remain calm.
4. Be diplomatic and tasteful.
5. Speak clearly and make yourself heard without shouting.
6. Practice speaking your mind around your family and friends. They do
with you.
7. Believe in yourself. You can do it!
It is so amazing why we hold back the truth.
The truth is such a great tool.
It may hurt someone’s feelings, but it will help with the shaping of their life. However, if we don’t tell people what we should relate to them, we are being deceitful.
We continue lying and they get worse. Bottom line: No one wins!
Don’t we want them to be better and do better?
Even if we have a way with words, fancy dancing and staying clear from the facts are not for the best!
Who is hurting who?
The truth is best.
Speak your mind!
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By Vernalee

Have you ever been anxiously waiting to hear from someone to get the latest news or results?
Have you been so anxious that you paced the floor walking as if there is no tomorrow?
For reasons of anxiety, you simply cannot sit down!
If the answer is yes, join the crowd.
Many refer to this anxiousness as sitting on pins and needles.
So, what does that mean?
“Sitting on pins and needs” is used to describe someone who can’t sit still/rest easily, often because of anxiousness/worry/impatience.
That terminology could describe many facets of our lives.
Our emotionality can be all over the board.
It begs to ask – How can we effectively deal with anxiety?
Let’s see what the experts recommend that we do to cope.
Here are some suggested steps.
1. Identify the source of your anxiety.
2. Determine if your worry is solvable.
3. Consider the worst.
4. Accept uncertainty.
5. Consider the use of your worry.
6. Focus on both the positive and the negative.
7. Avoid thinking in terms of all or nothing.
8. Don’t make it into a catastrophe.
9. Try not to jump to conclusions.
10. Don’t let your emotions control your reasoning.
11. Avoid making everything personal.
The more we practice reducing our stress, the better.
There are so many issues that we cannot escape or run away from; so many that we must face.
Once we deal with the stress pockets, we can move on.
If we don’t, we will resort back to sitting on pins and needles!
Pins and needles hurt!
They pierce your skin.
Be comfortable.
I want my buttock to be cushioned.
Don’t you?
No one go looking for trouble.
No one wants to be purposefully hurt and feel the accompanying pain and anxiety.
If you can avoid what you know will hurt, why not?
Replacing anxieties with pleasurable comfort is the goal.
Let’s work toward that goal.
Are you ready?
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By Vernalee
imagesCAEI90RX cutting edge
Is there a responsibility to reach back and help people?
I think so!
Don’t you?
Taking the time to share your time, energies, resources, and knowledge is needed if we truly want to impact the well being of others.
Being a sounding board also goes far. Nothing beats listening ears alongside the hands that help!
Think about it.
Since God has the whole world in his hands, your hands helping someone else isn’t too much to ask; is it?
Besides, the “giving back” process isn’t that difficult or time consuming.
What comes easy and natural to some can be foreign and difficult to others. Regardless, there is power in giving back!
It is the right thing to do. The residuals pay off bountifully.
Your selflessness, caring, thoughtfulness, and actions of making someone else’s life better will strengthen you immeasurably!
It is very fulfilling and satisfying. Try it; you will see and agree!
Together, we can make a difference. We can make the world a better place!
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