Archive for the ‘Hot Topics’ Category


By Vernalee
information technology
Yes, technology particularly via my cell phone and other gadgets has eliminated selected facets of my memory.
I confess!
I came to the realization of this very fact recently.
My late Mother in her 90’s could rattle off dates, addresses, and phone numbers from her head.
Impressive, I’ll say!
I cannot do that any more.
Holy cow!
How did it happen? How did I lose my sense of recollection?
Let’s see!
I figured it out!
My wise and brilliant Mother relied on her mind to provide the answers.
I rely on technology!

I rely on retrieval of numbers, addresses, and other pertinent information that have been stored in my cell phone and other apparatuses.
You see, I convinced myself years ago that I would only use my mind when necessary. Why carry around information in my head when I can pull it up on the computer?
And just like everything else when you don’t use it, rust consumes it!
Now, unfortunately, I don’t know any of the simple stuff!
Technically in a figurative mode, I pushed the delete key.
It is no wonder that the Internet has become the brain’s “external hard drive.” Amazing!
I didn’t realize the severity of my lapse of memory and my dependency on technology until I observed my Mother’s computer mind. She could run circles around most of us youngsters without showing off!
Which brings me to these questions.
Would I be lost without my Ipad and cell phone?
Do I need to be retrained?
For certainty, I have become spoiled and incessantly reliant upon technology.
What about you?
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By Vernalee
Several years ago, I heard the comedian Sinbad make jokes about our cell phone usage. What an invention! “We use our cell phones for everything but talking,” Sinbad joked!
Sublimely true, our cell phones have so many varied uses in addition to our verbal conversations.
We text, email, and let our cell phones become our babysitter and company keeper!
They are most engaging communication and information tools that connect us to each other and to the world.
However, when our cells replace the sheer intimacy of our basic conversation; our eye to eye contact, and our relationship togetherness, there is a problem!
When we substitute our “one on one” face to face sharing by using an instrument, our technology has taken a seat at our table.
The questions become: Are we avoiding each other? Do we prefer dealing with each other from a distance?
Are we unreasonably using our phones as an enhancement or a replacement for talking to each other?
If we allow our phones to become an ingredient that causes communication indigestion, a “medicinal cure” will be needed before we regurgitate a breakup or a divorce!
Pepto Bismol … to the rescue!
All kidding aside, the Bottom Line is – We shouldn’t ignore each other. We should talk! Nothing beats face to face communications!
It does help us when we can look each other in the eye and observe each other body language. What a cure that may bring! Besides, you can’t hide.
Think about it!
To communicate is to be informed.
My thoughts …
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By Vernalee
If the shoe fits, wear it” is a commonly used expression that suggests that someone should accept a generalized remark or criticism by applying it to themselves, particularly when it describes them.
Simply stated: Is what is being said characterize you?
Yes or no.
What is ironically sad is when people don’t get the hint or it goes right over their head! Swish!
Sadder, is when they deny what accurately describes them.
Admittance goes hand in hand with acceptance, which makes it difficult. Acceptance puts us on the front line to confront our shortcomings and do something about them.
We know what they are better than most – even if we don’t admit to it!
Thus, do we wear the shoes if they fit or take them off and do something about it?
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By Vernalee
When people wear behavioral disguises; it is difficult to recognize them or determine what’s real and what’s fake.
Once the masquerade is over and the mask comes off, the illumination of the real person shines with glaring brilliance.
You then see who they really are!
They are those people who “talk out of both sides of their mouth.”
How pretentious of them!
Deception is their middle name.
They walk in and out of our lives effortlessly, often times because we can’t discern their ever changing and spontaneous behavior.
Man, are they smooth operators!
They can definitely rise to the occasion. Their chameleonic effects often leave you speechless. Their theatrics could fool the best. They are just that good; exceptionally convincing!
They get better with age.
But as the days go by, so does the revelation of who they are!
It never fails; time always tells! Eventually, their true behavioral traits rip through the seams.
When those embryonic stems become adult roots, the accompanying conduct follows; it becomes very telling!
The person that you thought was a sheep is really a wolf!

That pearly white sheep skin is really the character of the big bad wolf!
Though the discovery of the wolf in sheep’s clothing may be an excruciating experience, don’t be dismayed!
Instead be thankful that you found out in time before you were torn to smithereens!
Baa, baa, black sheep!
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By Vernalee
In 1974, William DeVaughn had a song titled, “Be Thankful for what you got!” At the time, we sang and hand danced to the song not knowing the true meaning of its lyrics. The greater our life experiences, the wiser we become. DeVaughn’s lyrics (below) reflected the times, but the meaning extended beyond the seventies. It’s relevancy is timeless!
“Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac
Gangsta whitewalls
TV antennas in the back
You may not have a car at all
But remember brothers and sisters
You can still stand tall.
Just be thankful for what you got.”
Yes, we should be thankful and be grateful for what we have; not what we don’t have!
We have more than enough compared to many.
Our blessings are over flowing compared to some.
If you need a reminder, you don’t have to look far … just look around!
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By Vernalee
Yes, experience is the best teacher! No, I am not singing R&B singer’s Miki Howard’s song that speaks about the same subject. She does have some serious vocal pipes though! I am simply echoing a truism. For sure, I am a proponent of the fact that we are taught many lessons that we learn in this life. Failures often are the best teachers. We get better and learn from our mistakes. And of course, I remember the old ladies in Mississippi saying, “You can’t tell that child a thing. She has to buy her sense.” Nonetheless, that is what experience does. The key is that we have to push our emotions out of the way and learn from them; which is easier said than done.
Experience, though a simple word, means different things to different people. However, in its most pristine form, experience is the “practical contact with and observation of facts or event; or to encounter or undergo (an event or occurrence). Experience is also the knowledge or mastery of an event or subject gained through involvement in or exposure to it.” There are various forms of experiences that we derive from physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, religious, social, virtual simulation, and other settings.
Whether we call it, training, maturity, practice, or encounters, experience is valuable.
It is safe to assume that we will learn more from things that happen to us in real life than from hearing about them or studying things that happen to other people. In streets terms, we call that “learnt” sense, which is different from the “bought” sense that borders on advice; and “I told you so.” Sometimes, I guess we just have to fall down to know what it feels like to pick ourselves up.
Everyone has chimed in on the experience relatedness. Remember these.
• Some things you won’t understand until it happens to you.
• Your best teacher is your last mistake.
• Only the journey matters.
• The only source of knowledge is experience.
• A mind that is stretched by experience can never go back to its old
• Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.
• Experience is simply the name that we give to our mistakes.
Whether we discount these phrases as just being expressions of the time, we cannot deny that this is what experience does:
1. We learn from experience.
2. Experience teaches us what we want and what we don’t want.
3. Experience transforms us into professionals.
4. Experiences are extremely impressionable.

We must be careful that we don’t allow our experiences in life to negatively affect our heart. Bitterness, hatred, and anger can walk through our doors easily. Replacing them with joy, love, and happiness are optimal. Our experiences have probably shown us that the latter scenario is the better one.
Every problem comes in our life to make us or break us. The choice is ours whether we become victims or victors.
Victories and success sound good to me! Agreed?
Stop! See what your experiences have taught you!
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By Vernaleeimage
I recently watched the movie, “The Intern.”
In fact, as it was full of valuable takeoffs, I found myself watching it on HBO several times.
Starring Anne Hathaway and Robert DeNiro, it is very entertaining; a must watch; a story of old school wisdom joining forces with a young entrepreneurial approach. A twist of the ordinary, a 70 year DeNiro is the interm. The movie clearly demonstrate that experience never grows old. “The Intern” is full of leadership lessons.
Take a look:
1. Keep moving.
2. Leaders set the tone.
3. If there is a hole in your life, fill it.
4. Leaders can get blindsided. They can’t see everything coming. Step back,
breathe, and see what’s happening.
5. Celebrate good things.
6. Passing the leadership baton can be difficult.
7. Find the formula for fair distribution of work. Stop piling up layers and layers of work on a person where it is not manageable.
8. Your ways may not be as productive as you think.
9. You’re never wrong to do the right thing.
10. We think that we’re less screwed up than we really are.
So what if your boss is not a leader? What if he/she leaves a lot to be desired?
You will soon realize that you can’t change them. You can only change you. Learn to not be like them!
Imitating poor conduct, be it from a leader or not, is not advisable.
By all means, don’t let their mishaps rub off on you!
Maximize your potential which may include leaving an environment where leadership and opportunities are absent or poor.
Rather, carry this cadre of quotes to motivate you:
A. Success never sleeps nor does it wait. It is available 24x7x365 even if
you are not.
B. You will make mistakes. Learn from them.
C. When was the last time that you did something for the first time. Keep
D. Not taking risks ultimately lead to failure.
E. Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.
F. Look back at past mistakes as a lesson, not a regret.
G. Positive things happen when you distance yourself from negative people.
H. Ego, particularly an inflated one, is the enemy.
I. Business success = mission, strategy, and resources.
The list goes on.
Allow these lessons to be learning experiences whereby you can move from Point A to Point Z pridefully and successfully.
Don’t let others be your stumbling block! Keep moving; don’t give up!
Reach for the sky!
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By Vernalee
I have had enough!
Yes, that’s right!
I’m throwing in the towel.
I quit.
I’m done!
I cannot take it anymore!
I am so tired of other people’s problems (OPP) and their foolishness.
I am tired of being on their defense team listening to their problems – one after another.
Oh, I forgot to tell you this! Other folks problems can stress you out and “wear you thin” if you let them. Shiny gray hairs become prolific on your head; not theirs! You can become so engulfed with OPP’s that you become sidetracked with your own.
Before you realize it, your issues have been put on the back burner. I’ve had enough! I want to limit my time and energies toward engagement for me and my loved ones.
So as I wipe the sweat off my face, I am tossing that white grimy towel with the velocity of a 20 mph javelin throw. Watch it fly through the air like a towel trapeze!
I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of other folks’ stuff!
My new white soft towel is embracing my skin like a cool summer breeze.
I’m taking a mental health break from them to concentrate on me and mine!
What a wonderful feeling!
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By Vernalee
Recently, I ran across this article and thought it was worth a share.
15 Things that Incredibly Happy People do!
1. They turn their mistakes into lessons.
2. They go offline.
3. They don’t sweat the small stuff.
4. They plan getaways.
5. They say thank you.
6. They give themselves a break.
7. They turn a to do list into a game.
8. They build relationships.
9. They don’t blame the past.
10. They fake it till they make it.
11. They take chances.
12. They get their beauty rest.
13. They get moving.
14. They are honest.
15. They don’t compare themselves to others.
Are you incredibly happy according to these 15 items or just incredibly happy period. Why be sad?
If you woke up this morning, that is a great reason to be incredibly happy.
If you are blessed with reasonably good health; a healthy loving family, great friends and companions; a roof over your head; plentiful food to eat; a source of income / an affordable way of survival … are others. Being surrounded by love – having someone to love you that you can love back is great. I count my blessings everyday and I am incredibly happy and thankful for God’s grace and covering.
Photo credit: Thomas Barwick / Getty Images
Source: MSN Lifestyles / Pop Sugar


By Vernalee
It’s a saying that the “means justify the end!”
There is truth in the quote!
However our actions don’t always qualify us for the Medal of Honor. What happens when we fail to do what is morally right? What if we do not do what we should have done?
There are some who regard their reckless behavior as appropriate and justify it! They convince themselves that they were right when in fact they were as wrong as “two left shoes.”
This is particularly true with selfish people because they really can not see beyond themselves. No one matters but them. In some instances, their families are included in their roundup. Make no mistake, you did not make the cut. You’re an outsider; remember?
Think about it.
If the U.S. Government has three branches as its checks and balances, it certainly justifies that our actions should not go unchecked.
However if one insulates himself/herself with secrecy/privacy to avoid scrutiny, how can they be criticized?
In many cases, they will never stand before a respected authority for consultation and/or get an outside opinion?
They don’t want to be told that their actions were wrong. And of course, being wrong can’t be a correct response to a person who is never wrong!
Hearing the words don’t rest well with their ears or souls! It really doesn’t matter when they have already justified that their wrongness was right!
Check this out!
Saying “I’m sorry” is a phrase that doesn’t exist in their vocabulary.
That is why they take the steps to appease their conscience while caring less that others were hurt by what they said, did, or didn’t do.
None of this should exempt them from being thoughtful and considerate! Just ask the person who was hurt and offended! Their feelings were injured while the offender’s feelings were in a nonchalant state to avoid the external chastisement.
Sadly, their failure to address their deficiencies causes them to drown in their own misery whether the outside world sees it or not.
It’s a coverup.
No one is being fooled but “you know who!”
Something is wrong with that picture!
That’s what happens when you live a lie!
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