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By Vernalee
It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
Nelson Mandela

“It’s too much; I cannot do it; it’s too weighty on my heart and mind; it is an impossible task.”
How many times have you heard that or said it yourself? How many times have you wanted to just give up? When it is not easy and the answers are not at your fingertip, the job can become overwhelming; particularly when you want it to happen immediately.
The beauty of accomplishment is that once all is done, you forget about its arduousness.
Perseverance is key. Here’s how we can do it.
1. Strengthening your resolve.
A. Know what you want.
B. Get rid of self doubt.
C. Practice staying cool.
D. Don’t get dragged down by haters.
E. Know your value.
F. Enjoy life.
2. Dealing with obstacles.
A. Face reality.
B. Weigh your options carefully.
C. Listen to your conscience.
D. Stand up for yourself.
E. Learn from your mistakes.
3. Staying resilient.
A. Keep your mind and body healthy.
B. Keep things in perspective.
C. Nourish your spirituality.
D. Stay true to who you are.
As the late great Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
Let that statement motivate you to move forward and beyond adversities.
You might be pleasantly surprised at what lies within and ahead.
We often underestimate our inner strength and ourselves!
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By Vernalee
gypsy nester
Gray hairs show years of living.
As Proverbs state, “Gray hairs are crowns of glory.”
Amazing wisdom those gray strings provide.
That is why – listening to our elders pay off!
Try it!
After talking to our elders, we will realize that there is truly nothing new under the sun!
They have most likely experienced or witnessed whatever we are attempting or undergoing.
“Bought sense or learned sense” is the optimal catchall phrase.
Do you want to learn from others’ experience or do you want to “buy” your sense and try everything yourself?
As for me, give me that gray haired wisdom!
I love sage advice. I don’t mind listening and learning.
I have avoided “many a headaches” from those gray headed ones!
My late Mother would always say, “I’ve seen a little bit of this and little bit of that.” Because of her life experience, her advice often saved me once I realized around age 35 or so that she really knew more that me!
You know in our teenage and young adult years, we feel that we know it all.
It is not until we realize that there is no need in reinventing the wheel or learning everything the hard way (when there is a template of experience), that we actually grow!
It’s called maturity.
Call me a copy cat if you will, but that hand me down wisdom has saved me a lot of grief…and time!
I’m appreciative!
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By Vernalee

Do you know who your real friends are?
May be this description can help you.
Fake Friends – Never ask for food.
Real Friends – Are the reason you have No Food.
Fake Friends – Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
Real Friends – Call your parents DAD/MOM.
Fake Friends – Have never seen you cry.
Real Friends – Cry with you.
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long they forgot it was yours.
Fake Friends – Know about you.
Real Friends – Could write a book about you.
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.
Real Friends – Walk right in and say I’m home.
Fake Friends – Will help you when you fall over.
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “Dog – Pile.”
Fake Friends – Are around for a while.
Real Friends – Are around for life.
Fake Friends – Say “Love you” in a joking manner.
Real Friends – Say “I love you” and mean it.
Fake Friends – Will read this.
Real Friends – Will steal this.
Note: Some things are already written, you merely need to duplicate the content. Thus, was the case for the description of real versus fake friends. I give full editorial credit because I am real and not fake! 
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By Vernalee
There are some messages that you hear that resonates. “The Seven Ups of Life” is one of them. Motivational and uplifting, take a look.

1. Wake Up –
Decide to have a good day.
“Today is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up —
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
“The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance;
but the Lord looks at the heart.”
I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up —
Say nice things and learn to listen.
“Listen to advice and accept instruction,
and in the end you will be wise.”
Proverbs 19:20

4. Stand Up —
For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
“Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…”
Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up —
To the Lord.
“I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up —
For something higher.
“…keep seeking the things above, where Christ is,
seated at the right hand of God.”
Colossians 3:1

7. Lift Up —
Your Prayers.
“Do not worry about anything;
Philippians 4:6

For certain, being up is better than its alternative – being down!
Positive thinking and actions are assets. If you continue in the right direction with hard work, a defined plan, and determination, you will reach your ultimate destination…successfully!
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PostHeaderIcon HAPPY NEW YEAR!

By Vernalee
marketing pilgrim
Happy New Year!
What did you do on New Year’s Eve?
Some folks attended Night Watch church services; some stayed home, others traveled; some attended parties and celebrations.
Wherever you sang “Auld Lang Syne” and wherever you were to bring in the New Year, it’s 2018!
You have been blessed to see another day of life; a brand new year!

As is the case for most of us, we have every intention of starting the new year off right!
Yes sir!
We desire making constructive changes in our lives.
Let’s see, before I forget….. Get ready!
Here comes a list of resolutions.
There are things that we wish to stop; to start; to finish; to change; to continue; to do!
How many of our varied resolutions will be accomplished and how many, unfulfilled are yet to be seen.
Time will tell.
It always does.
For sure, one day of improvements is better than none.
The common New Year resolutions include becoming a better person; taking control of your finances, losing weight, getting healthier, exercising more, becoming spiritual fit, accomplishing goals, etc. – some of which are monumental, some not.
Whatever our goals (professional, personal, or spiritual), they are ours to monitor, keep, maintain, accomplish, and hopefully not forfeit.
In closing, I take this time to wish my inner circle of loved ones, family, friends, and those in my reading audience – a healthy, prosperous, and successful New Year!
Thank you for your loyal following of my blog, “Stuff We Talk About!”
I am looking forward to our continued association.
We have so much “stuff” to talk about in 2018!
Happy New Year!
God Bless!

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By Vernalee
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I would not in a million years have thought that the person in question could be that ruthless or sinister.
Did you?
It didn’t look like they would hurt a fly.
How many times must we be reminded that looks are deceiving?
So when I heard of the betrayal, I was flabbergasted; speechless to be exact! What hypocrisy!
I don’t know why I was startled!
Jesus was betrayed by one who was within his midst!
Why would I expect any thing different?
Some folks asked, “How was this allowed to happen?”
That question is rhetorical at best.
We all know how closeness facilitates the removal of one’s inner fence.
We let our guards down with folks that we feel that we can trust; people that we feel are 100% loyal and are on our side!
We can all be fooled when perception and not reality is at work.
After all, we don’t expect betrayal from the group that we thought we could trust; the group that purportedly love us – close friends, confidantes, family, spouses/significant others.
Yet, these are the ones who become razor thin close; too close for comfort.
When that happens – down comes our barriers and protective shields. “Familiarity does breed contempt.”
It is easy to throw caution to the wind when we think that those close alliances are committed to our well being.
However, we have to discern that they are not who we think they are!
In fact, our mistake is that we too quickly or indiscriminately placed them in our circle of trust. Maybe it’s time that they are thrown out!
As the saying goes, “Know who’s in your boat. If they are drilling holes and not rowing, your boat will sink!”
Here’s what’s need to be done:
1. Remove them.
2. Forget them.
3. Activate the alarm if they come too close to the circumference.
4. Don’t become easy prey; “in range” target practice for the ill-intended.
5. Don’t mourn the loss of so-called friends; celebrate the fact that you identified who they were.
6. Re-group –
It is imperative that we “reboot; that we keep our guards up.”
7. Be equipped.
We must daily wear our weighty protective gear, though heavy it becomes!
8. Follow wise advise.
Sun Tzu, a Chinese military strategist used the expression that was coined by Al Pacino in his portrayal of Michael Corleone in the movie, “The Godfather II.” “Keep our friends close and our enemies closer.”
Regretful it is when there is difficulty in discerning who’s who.
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PostHeaderIcon BE ON GUARD!

By Vernalee
Being a southerner, I was always told that “The guard dog never attacks where the master doesn’t know.”
Don’t be fooled!
The guard dog in some settings is not a four legged animal.
It may be a person with feet running to badness.
It may also be someone who doesn’t like you and is determined to embarrass you.
Motives are hard to define particularly when they are synthetic and insincere.
Everyone is not your friend.
People wear so many disguises – many of which are hard to detect; others of which are not visibly noticeable.
I remember the old folks saying, “Everyone bears watching!”
It’s amazing how I embrace those quotes from the old folks today. In my younger years, I thought that those old fashioned souls knew nothing at all.
Stop categorizing people by saying what they will not do.
Remember this.
Although theoretically guard dogs, unlike watch dogs, are not trained to attack, they can!
All dogs have teeth that bite.
So keep your “guards up” around suspicious folks that you don’t trust.
People are not always what we see or think.
Can I get a witness?
Follow your instincts!
Your nose is usually not wrong!
You may find that your dog is more protective and loyal than the person that you assumed occupied that role!
There is such danger in assumption.
Take notes; pay attention.
Don’t be paranoid, but reasonably stay on alert.
Stop learning the hard way!
Truly, a dog may be your better choice. They’re cuddly, don’t talk back, and will love and protect you at all cost!
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By Vernalee
Why do people stay involved in other folks’ affairs?
Is it boredom, the need to gossip, not enough excitement in their own life, jealousy, or what?
The answer may not be clear; the solution is simple! Stay out of their business; mind your own!
If you stay on top of yours, that’s a job in and of itself – very time consuming, I’ll say!
In fact, when you mind your own business, you really won’t have the time to meddle in someone’s else!
Plain and simple!
If you don’t believe me, take the plunge.
Mind your business and not theirs and see what happens!
You will be amazed!
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By Vernalee
Photo Feb 22, 2013, 1_52 PM
You can present someone with an opportunity, but you cannot force him or her to take advantage of it.
Sometimes, it makes you upset; particularly when your advice can save them from calamity.
Remember this one important fact.
While you are worrying about them, having sleepless nights and watching your hair turn gray, the person in trouble is carefree, sleeping like a baby, and has no need for Grecian formula or Lady Clairol.
This scenario is upside down; right? Bottom line: People do what they want to do!
If you give solid advice and they don’t take it, you have done your job.
There are some people who want listen or heed advice.
Besides, if they get in the saddle, they must be prepared to ride!
So … Get with the program!
Go home, kick up your feet and get some rest.
Don’t worry!
Their lackadaisical attitude and inactions will eventually catch up with them. Sadly, when they are in doubt, they lose control.
With an unclear direction, they may land anywhere.
Hi Yo Silver! Away!
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By Vernalee
Which are you?
Does it matter?
Sure it does.
Both have pros and cons.
If you are the driver, you control the speed, the stops, and the turns; who you pick up and who you put out.
When you are in the driver’s seat, it is imperative that you concentrate.
You have to watch your moves and those of the other drivers.
Is there less stress on the passenger than the driver?
It depends!
The passenger may be “a back seat driver”
telling the driver where to turn, etc. Since passengers are not behind the wheel, sure they can look out the windows, watch the scenery, but they can also see views and dangers that the driver can’t see.
Passengers can help the driver navigate, aid him/her, and in many cases help prevent accidents.
They can see things coming from the sides while the driver is watching the front and rear views.
As long as they are riding together, both the driver and passenger arrive at the same destination.
Basically, it boils down to who is at the wheel; who is in control.
The control element is that you don’t want to end up in a destination that is not for you.
Neither do you want to arrive at the wrong place.
Your goal is to arrive safely; drama free.
Sometimes as you travel, the road gets bumpy. The steering become more strenuous.
You might have to stop, get out of the car, ask your passenger to leave, or the passenger may request getting out.
The ride or destination may not be right.
You catch my drift?
It’s a wonderful thing, if and when the passenger and driver are in sync.
With similar views, they can help each other as they collectively navigate their course.
It can be a beautiful ride with minimal turbulence…and great outcomes!
Are we discussing who’s in the car or are we discussing relationships?
Regardless … the same principles apply.
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