Archive for the ‘Men/Relationships’ Category

PostHeaderIcon HOW MUCH LOVE ARE YOU BEING SHOWN?

By Vernalee
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Is he getting off cheap? Are you getting the short end of the stick? Are you guilty of being too reticent to ask or push the buttons? Does he take advantage of your reticence? If you could put his love in a container, how much would you have? Is a container big enough? Questions on questions abound. The truth always rises to the top.
Check this out.
Listen to the stories.
Here’s one.
Rumor has it that she (the girlfriend, that is) has two cars and a plush house that the boyfriend purchased. Exquisite attire, furs, jewelry, and designer bags line the walls of her closet. Exotic trips to lands afar are vacations of pleasure; all courtesy of the boyfriend. Mind you, I said boyfriend, not husband!
They’re in a committed relationship, but not married yet.
Wow!
The old folks would say that she is a “well kept” woman.
How and why
Obviously, he loves her and wants to adorn her with pleasantries.
Some might ask, “Is this a pay to play system? Or is it a man doing what a man does when he loves and adores the woman in his life? He treasures her with goodies of all types; with love and kindness.
Recently, speaking on harmonious marriages, I heard a pastor say that most men just need two things – sexual gratification and the remote control. Women, he said on the other hand need ten to twenty things. This recognition is a mature acknowledgement and understanding of a woman’s chemistry/emotionality and what it takes to show her that you care. Beyond being shown, she needs to hear the sweet words of love being whispered into her ears and to feel the gentleness of her man’s touch.
Keeping it simple, there are four things that a man can do to show love:
1. Say “I love you” – regularly.
2. Give tokens of affection.
3. PDA – Show Physical Displays of Affection.
4. Connecting – Being together on a consistent basis; alone, and with family and friends.
Let’s get to the meat of the matter and move away from litanies of excuses. Excuses that are given too often to justify lack; excuses that are tired of being heard. Admittance is the first step needed to move forward.
Thus, it begs to ask if you are an independent woman or a woman who asks for little, should your man adorn you with much? Of course! Be careful!
Men – Don’t be caught in a bad position. One day, the person that you gave little when you could have given much will get tired of being low on the food chain; or one day you may meet your match.
If you need to make a change, it’s never too late. Stand up and be counted!
Stop being in denial!
Stop trying to convince yourself that you are generous of your time and resources, when you know that you are not!
Be true to thine self!
You know better than most! You can say whatever you want, but you can’t justify what you don’t do! There is always residual evidence. The proof is in the pudding!
Stop the madness!
If there is true love, you never have to be asked. You just do! You give freely to each other. You become gifts to each other. Untie the bow! Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Photo credit: www.pininterest; Source: www.today.com

PostHeaderIcon 9 SIGNS OF A MAN’S LOVE

By Vernalee

He loves me. He loves me not.
We are familiar with that nursery rhyme and its scenic demonstration of picking petals off of flowers. If the last petal ends with “he loves me,” then love is in the air.
Childish; right?
For certain, love is not a game.
Quite the contrary!
Love is a powerful emotion.
We women desire the love and affection from our man; and vice versa.
Many times, we want to hear him whisper the words, “I love you.”
Are the words more important than the actions?
Would you rather that he shows you than tell you?
Or are you one of those who wants a combination of both?
Don’t answer!
That is why this caption, 9 Signs of a Man’s love, stopped many of the female homo sapiens in our tracks.
Ready!
Let’s take a look at the “man” signs of this emotion called – LOVE.
Here we go!
1. He caters to you.
2. He wants to hang out with you … a lot.
3. Sex isn’t the main factor for him.
4. He keeps you in mind when making major decisions.
5. He tells you things he’s never told anyone.
6. He doesn’t flirt with other women.
7. He doesn’t mind talking about the future.
8. He shows you off.
9. He loves making you feel special.
Alright!
Stop being greedy!
Is 9 enough or do you want 10 reasons?
Your number is yours, but having a man who loves, adores, respects, admires, cares … and shows it … is good enough for many!
He will extraordinarily and habitually do so in all ways.
That is the hope.
That is what counts; right?
Photo credit and Source: www.msn.com

PostHeaderIcon BRINGING HOME THE BACON WHEN WOMEN ARE THE TOP BREADWINNERS

By Vernalee
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To bring home the bacon means to earn money, particularly for one’s family; to be successful, especially financially successful; to supply means of subsistence; earn a living; attain success or reach a desired goal.
For years, the man held the distinction of being the primary wage earner and the person who made the most money. That trend is changing.
Women nowadays not only take care of their households, but in many cases also bring home the most bacon.
According to the NY Times, the median household income for married women who earn more than their husbands — more often White, slightly older and college educated — is $80,000.
When the wife is the primary breadwinner, the total family income is generally higher.
Check out this statistic: One fourth of women earn more than their husbands.
What happens to the family when the woman rises to the top and assumes this role? Here is where the debate and varying opinions occur.
Some say that it is a recipe for disaster. Others say that the family is better off. A selected group contends that it’s not just about the dollars. There is a group of men who find not being the top breadwinner a little unsettling. They feel that their role is being threatened.
Then there are the selected women who also hold the role of top breadwinners who allege unfairness in that they still bear the majority responsibility of child rearing and the abundant housework. Let’s not forget the traditional theory that children turn out better when the Mother stays home.
Alright, let me ask one more question. Regardless of whose pockets are the deepest – Who should pay the bill in the restaurant; the man or the woman? Some say the man; some say it doesn’t matter; others say why blow a gasket!
There is as much agreement as there is disagreement. Where is the balance? It is a tug of war. Is there a universal answer or does it depend upon the individual family?
Remember this: Bacon fits nicely between toasted bread…no matter what!
So when a woman “bring home the bacon and is the top breadwinner,” it’s too much for some traditionalists.
What do you think?
A penny – and a slice of bacon on toast with grape jelly – for your thoughts!
Photo credit: www.slate.com

PostHeaderIcon HOW TO – STAY IN LOVE

By Vernalee
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Being in love, loving someone and being loved back are incredible emotions and feelings that we all desire. Hearing the three words, “I love you” can lift you up, send chills down your spine, make you feel brand you, among other feelings; some of which are indescribable. The words and their accompaniments have medicinal effects. To love and be loved require attention and meticulous care. Sometimes, we win; sometimes we lose. The ideal is to find that right balance alongside the right words, behaviors, and actions.
Based upon feedback from my followers, the “Stuff We Talk About” daily blog is introducing a new feature called the “How To’s”. No one knows how to do it all. Neither do we have all the right answers. In this new “How To” series, we will bring to you the opinions and findings from the experts who will share their expertise on related matters. To start this series, our first post deals with the greatest emotion of all – love.
Love is not hard. Staying in love and doing what the essence of love requires have its challenges.
Several experts tell us how to stay in love with each other. Let’s take a look.
Opinion #1 – How to Stay in Love:
1. Listen.
2. Value each other.
3. Forgive.
4. Laugh together.
5. Be kind.
6. Flirt (with each other through words and actions).
7. Protect.
Opinion #2 – How to Stay in Love:
“Relationships don’t coast by on autopilot. They need active effort to keep the love alive. Here are six secrets to stay in love forever:
1. “Us” Time: You may spend lots of time with each other but is it quality time? Whether it’s a weekly date night, a few overnights, or an extended vacation, make sure that you have time where you can focus exclusively on each other.
2. Connect throughout the day: Do you remember when you first met? You may have been so excited to see each other that you used every spare moment to call each other even when you were apart. It’s worth revisiting some of your old practices that you engaged in when your love for each other seemed all encompassing. Make an effort to connect with each other throughout the day. Send a short text message or email to let your significant other/spouse know that you’re thinking about him/her. These regular connections during the day will keep the positive feelings flowing and make your time together that much more meaningful.
3. Give Appreciations: It’s so easy to notice the flaws and take the virtues for granted. We need to throw out this recipe for resentment. Instead make it a habit to express gratitude and overlook their faults. Daily appreciations will help you not lose sight of all the good your mate does for you. You’ll also get in the habit of focusing on the positive and your mate will feel loved. Make a few minutes a day to include appreciations in your routine. Sit down and look into each other’s eyes and share what you appreciate about what your mate did for you today or a quality that he/she possesses.
4. Try new things: Don’t let your relationship get stale. Try new things together. When you were dating you may have done new activities together. How exciting is your relationship? Experiment. Take something new together and you’ll see how it will liven up your relationship. Even if you don’t have the same interests, you can still have fun together.
5. Make your mate laugh: Laughing can create the same chemical bond as intimacy. Couples can get bogged down in the heaviness and stress of life. Negativity can permeate the atmosphere and ruin all attempts to connect, even on a nice vacation. Infusing laughter into your relationship can cut through the stress faster than anything else.
6. Praise your mate’s physical appearance: While this may be more important to women than men, it is a nice gesture to positively comment on appearance. As we age and begin to feel self-conscious about our looks, it’s really helpful to know that you still find each other attractive.”
Opinion # 3 – How to Stay in Love:
Five Choices to help you stay in love:
1. Learn to love yourself.
2. Take it slow.
3. Ask in-depth questions
4. Don’t shy away from conflict.
5. Appreciation rather than judgment.
There you have it. The experts have given us solid advice. They have spoken! We just need to follow the roadmap!
Photo credit: ww.quote alley.com. Source: www.eharmony.com; www.aish.com; www.huffingtonpost.com

PostHeaderIcon HOW TO – BREAKUP WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

By Vernalee

Love is for certain the most sought after emotion. It makes us feel heavenly. That same “loving” feeling that can figuratively place us on top of the world can also emotionally put us in a lowly spot when things go wrong.
Occasionally, sometimes things are not what they appear.
Sometimes, the person that we once thought that the sun rose and set upon turns out to be a nightmare particularly when errors in his ways create hurt and damage that are hard to overcome.
By no means am I endorsing or promoting walking away. This is not painting a pessimistic view, but a realistic one when trouble arrives. I advocate staying together and doing whatever it takes to yield happiness.
However, if your relationship cannot be salvaged, an unfortunate end may be the only recourse.
Thus, we should ask ourselves a few pertinent questions. What happens when love doesn’t work out? What happens when our emotional health and well being dictate that we end what once made us feel great? Have you taken the time to communicate to your mate your concerns and has sufficient time been allocated to address the noted deficiencies?
When and if a breakup is the only way out, it should be done with dignity and respect. Fairness and thoughtfulness for your mate’s feelings are critical. Breakups are tough. We never want to hurt the other person’s feeling even if they have hurt ours.
If a breakup is necessary, let’s turn to the experts to see how to respectfully, compassionately, and may I add lovingly tell our mate that it is over.
As we continue our “How To” series, let’s examine what our experts say about breakups. Here we go.
How to Break Up:
1. Think over what you want and why you want it. Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. …
2. Think about what you’ll say and how the other person might react. …
3. Have good intentions. …
4. Be honest — but not brutal. …
5. Say it in person. …
6. If it helps, confide in someone you trust.
Additional thoughts to the breakup process include:
1. Make sure that you are 100% positive that you want to break up with him.
2. Don’t ask for a break. It is the same as breaking up, but with a time variance.
3. Choose an appropriate time and place to break up with him.
4. Break up with him in person.
5. Be honest.
6. Give him space.
So if our relationship does come to an end and if our once Knight in Shining Armor was the wrong match for us, we can walk away knowing that at least our breakup tactics were right!
Photo credit: You Tube: Ashlee Brown; Sources: www.wikihow.com; www.kidshealth.org

PostHeaderIcon ARE THE TWO OF YOU ON THE SAME PAGE?

By Vernalee
quotes dumps.com
Allow me to ask you a few questions.
Ready?
Are the two of you (your man and you) on the same page?
Is he speaking your language?
Are you speaking his?
Are you listening to each other?
Does what he says matches what he does?
In other words, does he “walk the talk?”
Comfortably, you should be able to take the “man in your life,” at his word. It is his bond; right?
For certain, he can make you extraordinarily happy or disappointingly sad depending upon the outcomes of his behavior.
So that we can be fair, the same rules apply for women and men. Gender is insignificant here.
Trust is born from words and actions.
That is why – Nothing beats a harmonious relationship – based upon trust and love.
Keeping your word and living up to your commitment are foundational principles. If you can’t satisfy those terms, you may as well close the book altogether. However, if the two of you are lovingly reading in the chapter called, the “Three H’s – Harmony, Happiness, and Honor,” you are pleasurably on the same page!
Indeed, that is a good place to be – figuratively and literally!
Photo credit: www.quotesdump.com

PostHeaderIcon IS THERE A WALL UP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

By Vernalee
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How do you tear down a wall that you cannot see? Is there an emotional wall up in your relationship? Are there things that should be addressed that remain standing?
Maybe, the issues are so delicate that you prefer not to address them. However, they will not magically disappear. Perhaps, if you delicately and strategically attack the issues, you won’t be met with resistance from your partner. Receptivity is your goal.
His guards are up; your mouth is closed; and of course, the problem behind the wall remains. What a triad!
Here comes the auxiliary problem.
Sometimes the issues take roots, multiply, and grow.
It’s not healthy for your relationship well-being, you, or him.
Walls are built for protection. You can’t protect issues that will penetrate beyond the fence that you and him have built. Besides, who and what are you protecting? How do you show how much you really care?
Well, if this invisible wall is keeping you from progressing, you have to tear it down; that is – if you wish to move forward.
You must gingerly remove the bricks one by one.
To do so, here are a few recommendations.
1. Share your feelings.
2. Create a safe place.
3. Work on a plan.
According to the columnist, Ask Jen, “Your loved one’s walls may never come completely down, but at least you can be standing on the right side of the wall so that the two of you can face the problems together as a team.” Breaking through your partner’s walls is a difficult challenge, but one that you must drive a bulldozer through if you want your relationship to work and flourish. All of this rhetoric and advice provide excellent remedies; don’t they? Moving from the theoretical to the practical is another thing.
Pushing the button is hard; getting the nerves to address the issue is harder. Doing nothing is worst!

PostHeaderIcon THE INVISIBLE BOYFRIEND

By Vernalee
out cast radio.net
Recently, on The Today Show there was a featured segment called “The Invisible Boyfriend.”
Yes, It’s real!
If you don’t believe me, google it. “The Invisible Boyfriend” is a service that gives you “real world and social proof that you are in a relationship.”
Yep, it is a website whereby you can send text messages and communicate to a nonexistent person…and he answers back! You can also create on this website an invisible boyfriend with all the features that you want in a man. What an exciting apparition!
Then I masterfully reflected upon another brilliant discovery! What about those real life boyfriends whose behaviors, or shall I say lack thereof, make them invisible?
Ladies, how many stories can you confidentially share about them beyond the theoretical? You know the things that they should do, but don’t; the things that make them invisible! These guys fit the category of being real in the flesh and the relationship, but invisible in deeds and in satisfying their partners’ physical, emotional , sexual, et al needs?
Alright for my male readers, don’t get angry; there is equality! I understand that there is an “Invisible Girlfriend” category too. Click it if you like. If you have been an invisible boyfriend, you have a heads up! She, the Invisible Girlfriend, has all of the identicable characteristics that you possess! “Takes one to know one!”
I wonder how you will like someone who does to you what you do to others! Fair play is tough!
Photo credit: www.outcastradio.net

PostHeaderIcon HOW MUCH LOVE ARE YOU BEING SHOWN?

By Vernalee
image
Is he getting off cheap? Are you getting the short end of the stick? Are you guilty of being too reticent to ask or push the buttons? Does he take advantage of your reticence? If you could put his love in a container, how much would you have? Is a container big enough? Questions on questions abound. The truth always rises to the top.
Check this out.
Listen to the stories.
Rumor has it that she (the girlfriend, that is) has two cars and a plush house that the boyfriend purchased. Exquisite attire, furs, jewelry, and designer bags line the walls of her closet. Exotic trips to lands afar are vacations of pleasure; all courtesy of the boyfriend. Mind you, I said boyfriend, not husband! The old folks would say that she is a “well kept” woman. How and why? Obviously, he loves her and wants to adorn her with pleasantries. Some might ask, “Is this a pay to play system? Or is it a man doing what a man does when he loves and adores the woman in his life? He treasures her with goodies of all types; with love and kindness.
Recently, speaking on harmonious marriages, I heard a pastor say that most men just need two things – sexual gratification and the remote control. Women, he said on the other hand need ten to twenty things. This recognition is a mature acknowledgement and understanding of a woman’s chemistry/emotionality and what it takes to show her that you care. Beyond being shown, she needs to hear the sweet words of love being whispered into her ears and to feel the gentleness of her man’s touch.
Keeping it simple, there are four things that a man can do to show love:
1. Say “I love you” – regularly.
2. Give tokens of affection.
3. PDA – Show Physical Displays of Affection.
4. Connecting – Being together on a consistent basis; alone, and with family and friends.
Let’s get to the meat of the matter and move away from litanies of excuses. Excuses that are given too often to justify lack; excuses that are tired of being heard. Admittance is the first step needed to move forward.
Thus, it begs to ask if you are an independent woman or a woman who asks for little, should your man adorn you with much? Of course! Be careful!
Men – Don’t be caught in a bad position. One day, the person that you gave little when you could have given much will get tired of being low on the food chain; or one day you may meet your match.
If you need to make a change, it’s never too late. Stand up and be counted! Stop being in denial! Stop trying to convince yourself that you are generous of your time and resources, when you know that you are not! Be true to thine self! You know better than most! You can say whatever you want, but you can’t justify what you don’t do! There is always residual evidence. The proof is in the pudding!
Stop the madness!
If there is true love, you never have to be asked. You just do! You give freely to each other. You become gifts to each other. Untie the bow! Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Photo credit: www.pininterest; Source: www.today.com

PostHeaderIcon HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR SOUL MATE? LOOK FOR THE SIGNS

By Vernalee
image
Girl Talk: Have you found your Soul Mate? Here are 24 signs.
Have you found that person who makes you feel complete; that you cannot live without; that the thoughts of them wake up with you, are carried with you throughout the day, and go to bed with you. They stay on your mind.
You know who they are? Hopefully, it is a two way street in that they feel for you what you feel for them.
A soul mate is the person who may come around only once in a lifetime. So keep your antennas up; don’t miss that person. Let’s see how we can distinguish the sweet fragrance that our soul mate leaves in the midst of the air that we breathe; in the tantalizing midst of our soul!
Here goes:
1. You can convey what you’re thinking by just looking at each other.
2. You can’t even remember what it was like to be without them — and you don’t want to!
3. They challenge you every single day.
4. They know exactly what to do to calm you down when you’re mad, to help relieve your stress, or to cheer you up.
5. They also know exactly what to do to get under your skin . . . and they at least attempt to not do those things.
6. Even after years of being together, you still have great chemistry.
7. You are completely comfortable in their presence.
8. After spending a few days apart, you both talk a mile a minute to catch each other up on everything you both missed.
9. It feels like you’ve known each other your whole lives.
10. You disagree on some things, but are always on the same page when it really matters.
11. You have a bond that people around you don’t understand.
12. Their family feels like your own family.
13. You don’t feel the need to keep searching for more because you are so at peace with what you have.
14. You hurt when they hurt; you smile when they smile.
15. They are part of almost every story you tell.
16. They think the weird, quirky things you do are adorable, and you feel the same way about them, too.
17. You are a better person with them than without them.
18. They support you and your dreams — even if they don’t entirely understand them.
19. You are a dynamic duo, a perfect pair, a true team.
20. You feel protected by them and secure in your relationship.
21. For the first time in your life, you realize that home is not a place, but a person.
22. In some ways, you have become pretty much the same person.
23. You are your best and worst self around them, and they love you for both.
24. You know, in your gut, that this is it for you.
Questions – Have you found that soul mate of a person yet? Do they light up your soul like a flaming fire? Is the compatibility – sexual and otherwise – present? If not, are you looking in the wrong places?
At least be cognizant of who your soul mate is not? If there is an aura of foreign air when you are in their presence, he or she is probably not the one. No worries – your soul will identify your soul mate. It will talk to you. Your soul may even tell you to stay or move on!
Listen! Heed the talk!
Take the advice … no one knows better than your soul.
Photo credit: www.thedailyawe.com Source: www.Popsugar.com

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