By Vernalee

So many times, we try to make something out of nothing.
You know what I am talking about! Don’t act naïve.
We form bonds with people and then have to decide where and how they fit.
Challenging; right?
One such challenge is defining the boundaries of a relationship with a male that is close, but not intimate.
Which brings me to this question.
Is he your friend or your man?
No one knows the answer to that question better than you!
Some things just will not fit no matter how hard we try.
Some things are definitely not what they appear to be outwardly.
So back to the question.
Who is this man?
Many times, it is awkward and closely akin to trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Particularly this is the case when we meet someone that we want to be more than that person is willing to be.
That situation really becomes a problem.
We cannot let our thirst for a relationship coerce us to make a man, our man – when his actions and our reactions to him only signify that he is no more than a friend.
Are you confused?
Have you ever found yourself in this position?
Most likely.
Let’s see if these 10 signs shed any light as to whether it is better to be his friend than to be a couple.
Here we go!
1. You prefer to hang out in groups.
2. There are no sweet words between you.
3. You talk openly about other women & men.
4. You don’t make the effort (to look special, etc.) for him.
5. Neither of you feel any jealousies.
6. He says, “You’re my best friend” more than he says “I love you.”
7. You have more laughs than romance in your relationship.
8. It doesn’t matter if you have to cancel a date.
9. You don’t miss him when he’s gone.
10. There is no physical spark.
Listen up!
When he is more than a friend, these 10 things will not define your relationship.
Quite the contrary!
You will experience traits like being overly anxious where you cannot wait to see him; wanting to spend alone and quality time with him; feeling disappointed if he can’t make it to your date; and so much more.
The classification is important as you dont want to lead him on and you certainly don’t want to be led down the wrong path.
And of course, you don’t want him as a blocker. If he is so closely identified with you as your man when he is not, he essentially become a deterrent to your meeting someone else.
Can I get a witness?
So don’t fool yourself with who and what he is – your friend or your guy?
Know the difference.
Your heart, your head, or that inner voice will tell you. One of the three spills the beans every time.
Realize this – everyone cannot be your man, but a selected few can be your friend.
The criteria is different.
So is the expectation.
As you are well aware – some things go together; others just won’t fit.
Be a smart cookie. Know this …
Friendship to a male friend and love for your man are two different things; make no mistake about it!
Remember, male friends are some of the best!
I have a few.
I love them … they love me, but as friends though!
Photo credit: swta photo archive; Source: