By Vernalee
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It does not hurt to integrate men in our lives for a particular purpose.
They, referring to the male species of the world, have been utilizing us in that capacity for years. All things considered, it can be a wonderful gesture to be a copycat. In other word, do as they do. Why reinvent the wheel? When you copy, there is no learning curve. You are guaranteed exact duplicative results as you merely imitate their actions. When we transfer their experienced techniques to our usefulness, we can use men for their utilitarian value. Certainly, they bring a lot to the table with their unlimited resources and their talents.

Alright! Stop the madness! I know what you are thinking, because I once had the same thoughts. I was the epitome of a strong, independent Black woman who felt that I could do it all. Trust me; you as I have no reason to feel guilty. Vacate those thoughts! Independence and guilt have their place. They are archaic principles in this situation that should be relegated to your past. Since “doing it all by myself with no help” was once my operational style, I had to let those medieval practices evaporate in the ozone stratosphere. I wouldn’t even ask for assistance. Everything was for hire. Time brings about a change and I have done a “360 degree – about face” “Once you know better; you do better.” I cannot thank you enough Dr. Maya Angelou for those words of wisdom!

Don’t think for one minute that you don’t know how to do this; how to rely on men.
Reflect upon how you have been used and you will be amazed at the proficiency of your skill set. Let’s explore this concept.

Can he do yard work? Bingo, you don’t have to hire a gardener! Rake in your savings. You can buy a Gucci bag with those funds.

Do you need a problem solver? Use his intellectual capital to help you solve issues. If you do it right, he will claim ownership and a sense of responsibility for your issues. Shazam! Try that on for size! Besides, two heads are better than one.

If he is mechanically talented, he can be your handyman. The dripping sink; those dirty walls that need a touch up paint job; the leaky roof; and your broken garage door can now be repaired by him. No worries. What he can’t do, I am sure that he can hire the right tradesman. Pow!

On those cold snowy days, you can drive out of your yard with relative ease because he has retained a snow plow service for those special times. Why break your back!

Stop feeling anxious and overwhelmed. He has used you for your utilitarian services and values – time and time again to his benefit. His tummy remains full, thanks to you! You bought and cooked the food. Remember? His house is cleaned; shirt laundered because of your loving kindness. You have been his sounding board for years! No wonder he is so wise and make sound decisions!

It’s not payback. It’s good judgment. It’s about a caring man anticipating your needs or you being courageous enough to ask for his assistance if he doesn’t. Guess what? He cannot justifiably criticize you for this approach. You followed the golden rule, “Do unto him, as he has done to you.” You learned it all from him. What a wonderful teacher he has been!

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