By Vernalee
In 1984, hip hop group, Whodini had an amazing hit. It was called “Friends/How many of you have them?” The lyrics are quite deep. I invite you to listen. In this journey of friendships, we meet many people who we considered to be our friends; some became actual friends; some are still around; and others were fake. Time and actions will tell us who’s who. It always does. We will learn the inaccuracy of the more the friends, the merrier; it’s not the number, but the sincerity.
“Being a good friend isn’t always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many won’t, and you’ll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one.”
My daughter always says, “Mommy, I want to have friends like yours!” Admittedly, I have a few good friends. I believe that you often attract who you are. I am blessed to have lasting friendships; many of which have been around for decades. They care; I care. I love them; they love me. We have laughed together, cried together, shared secrets that can never be told, and been there for each other. Geography may in some cases separate us, but the closeness in our souls is uncanny. Making friends and keeping them is no easy task. It’s work! We all fall short and need regular reinforcers. Just like everything else, the more we work at it, the better we become.
To be a good friend and deepen a friendship, let’s see what the experts say and examine our behavior to see how many of the following steps we take or need to take to become trust worthy, supportive, and make our friendships last. Here we go:
Being Trustworthy:
1. Keep your promises.
2. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake.
3. Be honest.
4. Don’t use people.
5. Be loyal.
6. Be respectful.
Being Supportive:
1. Be selfless.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Help your friends deal with their struggles.
4. Be there in a time of crisis.
5. Give thoughtful advice.
6. Give your friend some space when he/she needs it.
Making your friendship last:
1. Learn to forgive.
2. Accept your friend for who he/she is.
3. Go beyond.
4. Stay in touch no matter what.
5. Let your friendship evolve.
Now all of us are busy. Don’t let your friendship suffer.
Here are a few things that you can do to maintain your friendship during those busy moments.
1. Make a date. Get on their calendar.
2. Your phone is always with you. Use it religiously to call, email, and
3. Go big. Double up. Make the most of your time. Get groups of friends
4. Practice random acts of kindness.
5. Use Social media.
6. Be choosy about your friendships.
Since friendships take work. Add these tidbits to your list.
1. Make sure they’re okay the moment you sense something wrong. …
2. Know when to be serious and when to be goofy. …
3. Go the extra mile when they ask for help. …
4. Don’t give up on them during their darkest hours. …
5. Make them feel wanted. …
6. Tell them, “I’ve always got your back,” at least once (and mean it.)
Are you a good friend? Are you there for your friends? Do you care for them and love them? Are you respectful of them and their time? Are you envious and jealous of their accomplishments or happy and delighted that they succeed? What’s the answer? Don’t ask me! Ask your friends!
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