Generally when we think of being in too deep, visually our minds quickly flash to water or a captivating hole (i.e. ditches, quicksand).
I know all about water having grown up in a small town graced by the shores of crystal clear Lake Washington.
As calming and relaxing as water is, the danger lies in the waves. In many cases, water is like relationships. Everything looks so tantalizing and inviting until you get up close. Both of the elements (water and relationships) are incredibly enticing. Once you step in, because of your urging desire to get your feet wet, you may find the water temperature to be unlike you thought. Suddenly, your once feeling of warmth becomes chilling.
Perceptions versus reality is a culture shock. Isn’t it?
Ooo-wee. Excuse me. I hope that I am not describing your relationship!
Anyway, when you’re in too deep, you are met with the trepidation of feeling overwhelmed. In fact, so that we can be clear, being in too deep is “to be so involved in a situation or relationship that you are unable to stop.” The definition is extended to include “someone who is in over their head or too involved in a difficult situation.”
Switching gears slightly, please permit me to relate to you what I heard decades ago. That sage wisdom has slipped my mind from time to time.
Like most women, I have taken a dip and a deep dive prematurely before considering that there may be danger lurking within. What about the sharks, alligators, and other predators tucked underneath the surface with the magnetic forces to pull you under like a propelling whirlwind? Did I forget?
In fact, similar to my female scholarly counterparts with professional experiences and degrees to boot, how did it escape our memories that we couldn’t swim? It’s funny how a man can make you forget the blouse on your back! Hypnotic trances do occur from time to time.
Decades ago, I didn’t appreciate the advice from those old ladies in Mississippi who constantly meddled in our business. My girlfriends and I despised them. We were young, innocent, and thought we knew it all. I’m glad that I will never be like them, but now I surely do appreciate them.
I can hear them now.
“Child don’t get too far out there in that water. The lake has sink holes. No matter what you do, keep your eyes on the shore. It is your place of refuge. Keep a paddle in your boat. You can use it to paddle your way back to the safety of land or to knock the daylights out of your attacker; whichever comes first! Yell S.O.S! Protect yourself at all times. Remember this. Don’t trust the person ever, ever again who set you afloat. They may use fire the next time!”
Now, I realize that they were providing warnings; remnants of their life experiences so that we didn’t fall into those same traps.
We sometimes forget how they acquired their wisdom. Those old ladies had been in the waters knee deep long before many of us were born. Some of them had to swim back to shore; others, had their boats capsized, but they made it in.
They may have been at the brinks whereby they questioned their survival. Suffice to say, they have been through it!
Yet, they survived to tell the story; to provide life lessons that can act as a protective shield since none of us are insulated from hurt.
It takes a toll of time to realize that “everything that glitters ain’t gold.” We may get scorched, but we will acquire the skill of assessment and eventually learn to walk away.
If we are smart, we will take heed before the creek rises!
Some storms provide no warning!
Photo credit: www.worldartsme.com