How do you tear down a wall that you cannot see? Is there an emotional wall up in your relationship? Are there things that should be addressed that remain standing?
Maybe, the issues are so delicate that you prefer not to address them. However, they will not magically disappear. Perhaps, if you delicately and strategically attack the issues, you won’t be met with resistance from your partner. Receptivity is your goal.
His guards are up; your mouth is closed; and of course, the problem behind the wall remains. What a triad!
Here comes the auxiliary problem.
Sometimes the issues take roots, multiply, and grow.
It’s not healthy for your relationship well-being, you, or him.
Walls are built for protection. You can’t protect issues that will penetrate beyond the fence that you and him have built. Besides, who and what are you protecting? How do you show how much you really care?
Well, if this invisible wall is keeping you from progressing, you have to tear it down; that is – if you wish to move forward.
You must gingerly remove the bricks one by one.
To do so, here are a few recommendations.
1. Share your feelings.
2. Create a safe place.
3. Work on a plan.
According to the columnist, Ask Jen, “Your loved one’s walls may never come completely down, but at least you can be standing on the right side of the wall so that the two of you can face the problems together as a team.” Breaking through your partner’s walls is a difficult challenge, but one that you must drive a bulldozer through if you want your relationship to work and flourish. All of this rhetoric and advice provide excellent remedies; don’t they? Moving from the theoretical to the practical is another thing.
Pushing the button is hard; getting the nerves to address the issue is harder. Doing nothing is worst!