Posts Tagged ‘Actions’


By Vernalee
It’s a saying that the “means justify the end!”
There is truth in the quote!
However our actions don’t always qualify us for the Medal of Honor. What happens when we fail to do what is morally right? What if we do not do what we should have done?
There are some who regard their reckless behavior as appropriate and justify it! They convince themselves that they were right when in fact they were as wrong as “two left shoes.”
This is particularly true with selfish people because they really can not see beyond themselves. No one matters but them. In some instances, their families are included in their roundup. Make no mistake, you did not make the cut. You’re an outsider; remember?
Think about it.
If the U.S. Government has three branches as its checks and balances, it certainly justifies that our actions should not go unchecked.
However if one insulates himself/herself with secrecy/privacy to avoid scrutiny, how can they be criticized?
In many cases, they will never stand before a respected authority for consultation and/or get an outside opinion?
They don’t want to be told that their actions were wrong. And of course, being wrong can’t be a correct response to a person who is never wrong!
Hearing the words don’t rest well with their ears or souls! It really doesn’t matter when they have already justified that their wrongness was right!
Check this out!
Saying “I’m sorry” is a phrase that doesn’t exist in their vocabulary.
That is why they take the steps to appease their conscience while caring less that others were hurt by what they said, did, or didn’t do.
None of this should exempt them from being thoughtful and considerate! Just ask the person who was hurt and offended! Their feelings were injured while the offender’s feelings were in a nonchalant state to avoid the external chastisement.
Sadly, their failure to address their deficiencies causes them to drown in their own misery whether the outside world sees it or not.
It’s a coverup.
No one is being fooled but “you know who!”
Something is wrong with that picture!
That’s what happens when you live a lie!
Photo credit:


By Vernalee
I’m not in the business of hurting people; quite the contrary.
I don’t have the time or the desire.
I also don’t contribute to the failure of other. Simultaneously, I keep my guards up to prevent others from dragging me down or placing me in their mess.
I will not be on their lowly level. Speaking of dragging, my non-participation extends beyond the physical interferences. Neither will I assist in dragging someone’s name through the mud.
I do not subscribe to those dastardly measures. It is so much better to let people make their own moves without intervention of negativity.
Neutrality beats meanness.
Sometimes, doing nothing when you could do something is just as bad! Looking the other way also requires movement!
If I cannot lift you higher, I refuse to drag you downward. For those people who are always trying to bring people down, let me share with you a fact!
It takes as much energy, strength, and force to push as to pull; to lift up as to lower. The weight is the same.
I hold my head up. I love that position.
Looking down or behind has no value. Either I or you can be a help or a hindrance. It’s your choice as it is mine!
I have made my decision to help … and I’m sticking to it!


By Vernalee
It’s the little things that count!
Ladies …
Nothing beats those little things that our man does!
* A brief morning text to describe his day and wish you well – goes far.
* Sneaking in a midday call to see how your day is going – speaks volume.
* Breaking bread together at the end of the day so the two of you can unwind – fills your soul.
* Tucking you in with a brief nightcap conversation – helps you sleep like a baby. Zzzz.
Those teeny weenie things have the monumental impact. They carry the message of love and caring very far. Some can make you melt like butter. We women love a gentleman, but nothing beats a caring good man. There are differences between the two, but one can be the other.
Are you with me so far?
So that I could get validation to my written words, I spoke to an expert.
Allow me to share a few points.
You will see how that small inch of him taking the time to show how much he cares is equivalent to a mile long distance of satisfied pleasure.
Sit tight, here we go! First on the list is –
Drumroll please …..
1. Say it!
You know – the “I love you” words. If you feel it and mean it, say it. Those three little words can light up a room, your face, and your life. Its medicinal effects is a cure all.
2. Watch romantic movies.
This is simple but effective. Eat some popcorn, take in a romantic movie, and relax together; holding hands if you like. How cute!
3. Be silly together.
Let your inhibitions go. Being silly together shows that you are comfortable with each other. The last laugh is on him. Haha!
4. Say thank you.
The sound of thank you can be sweeter than cotton candy. Gratitude can go a long way to make the other person feel special. Let those 2 words roll off your tongue.
5. Compliments.
Compliments are an instant lift especially when it’s coming from someone you love. A small gesture shows that you’re noticed and appreciated.
6. Do what your significant other enjoys.
It’s not all about you. Stop selfishly thinking about yourself. It’s we, not me.
7. Travel together.
Start now. When you find yourself far away from the place you live, you only have each other to rely on. Create lasting memories.
8. Cuddle.
Cuddling has this wonderful ability to soothe away the pain and calm you down. It works both ways. Not only will your partner feel relaxed, but you will shake off some of that everyday stress. And when it’s cold (Brrr), you can keep each other warm.
9. Bury the hatchet.
It’s not emotionally healthy to keep hurtful memories alive. They promote the past. Cut them off; bury them. Pray for strength. Forgive. Forget. Move on.
10. Honesty
The truth is worth its weight in gold. It is what trust is made of; one of the major ingredients in fact.
11. Stay strong in the Lord.
Our problems may become bigger than us. Pray alone. Pray together. Ask for guidance and deliverance. Make yourself whole by obeying God’s Word.
These are small things that mean so much.
When you gravitate mentally to a good place, your world changes; it looks different.
Start today. Try implementing as many improvements as you can and see the difference that they make.
Practice makes perfect.
Those little things add up!
The Bible tells us that he who is faithful in least is faithful in most.
Photo credit:; Source:


By Vernalee
A former colleague of mine operated from a basic philosophy or shall I say management school of thought. His management style was “it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.” Simply stated, that theory means it is better to “act decisively and apologize for it later than to seek approval to act and risk delay, objections, etc.”
Variations to this saying include the following expressions:
“It’s better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to stare at the line & do nothing.
If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.
It may be better to ask forgiveness than permission, but you must produce results.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; who is going to stop me?
You manage things, you lead people.
Do what you think is right (and be right).
Own the result.”
Sure, there is risk to this philosophical style. However, there is no question that it’s implementation moves along progress. It may also remove excuses. People frequently ask a rhetorical question, “Do you need anything; when they know you need everything!” The question can be interpreted as one of “avoidance of action.” Hold up! Can you really condemn them; they did ask!
It’s merely a game; a battle of the minds.
Is it better to do than ask the obvious?
Months ago, I witnessed a friend walking through the door with a bag of paper plates, cups, tissues, paper towels, and napkins. A family had lost a loved one. Wisdom dictated that when there is a flow of traffic in your house – the basic items are always needed. She didn’t ask; she did!
Appreciation and thoughtfulness never go out of style!
Actions always speak louder than words!

There you have it!
Photo credit:


By Vernalee
Are you a priority or an option?
The late great Maya Angelou gave us lasting wise advice. “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
Priority is defined as being regarded as more important than another;
the fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important;
the right to take precedence or to proceed before others.
Option is defined as the opportunity or ability to choose something or to choose between two or more things; something that can be chosen: a choice or possibility.
By definition, it goes without asking. Would you rather be regarded as highly important or a mere possibility?
Do you want to be relegated to the back of the line in terms of what’s important to the person that you have made highly important? Maybe the play on words here are tongue twisters, but they are accurate statements of facts.
It doesn’t add up – mathematically, logically, or realistically. Simply stated, it is not wise to make someone first in your life when you are just a number in theirs; thinking that you are in second place maybe just your optimism. When you rank behind everything else; when they get to you whenever, wherever, with whatever, don’t fool yourself. You are an option! If someone isn’t obviously going out of their way to position you to be a priority, it may not mean that they don’t care. It does mean that they don’t care enough to make you as a priority. You cannot reasonably elevate yourself or vacate if you refuse to acknowledge where you are. Take heed. Read the signs. Believe what your eyes behold; it is more than a scintilla of evidence. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t lie in a state of disregarded oblivion. Being anything but first is losing!
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PostHeaderIcon Are you a doer or a talker?

By Vernalee
Are you a doer or a talker? Before you answer, I have evidence. Your actions, or lack thereof, will speak for you! Hush! Observing and commenting on what needs to be done makes complaining easy. I know many commentators. Don’t you? Doing what needs to be done is harder. I am so tied of the “I was gonna do” folks and the consistent, “Do you need anything” chorus. That question usually comes from the great pretenders … pretending that they care while their actions demonstrate otherwise. They suspect that you will not ask them to do anything, so they assume that are off the hook since they made a faked insincere overture that could be seen a mile away! Who are they fooling? Can I get an amen if you know one? I say, “Just do what has to be done!” Your actions, not asking the question, show that you care.
Symbolic of the traffic lights, the green light mobilizes movement; it provides solutions! Actions speak louder than words … everyday of the week! Besides, the energy that is used to complain could be better utilized to solve the problem. If you care not to provide solutions, do the next best thing: Keep your mouth closed! If you are a red light person, you don’t have to tell anyone! It will show! Trust me!
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