Posts Tagged ‘Apologies’

PostHeaderIcon APOLOGIES: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE

By Vernalee
image
It’s never too late in most matters to apologize. If you don’t believe it, try it! Let’s start with the basics. It is always safe to make the obvious known.
Though known and obvious, an apology simply is defined as “a statement saying that you are sorry about something: an expression of regret for having done or said something wrong: an expression of regret for not being able to do something.”
“There are two common reasons why people apologize:
1. To try to make the person they wronged feel better by taking responsibility and showing empathy.
2. To try to make themselves feel better through atonement which will, hopefully, assuage their guilt.
As with most things, there is a right and wrong approach. There is a “right” way to apologize. The right way is to accept responsibility for your actions and remorsefully express your sincere regret for the damage done. The wrong way is anything other than a heartfelt apology. Here’s what the experts say that we should do:
A. Apologize promptly.
When you realize that you’ve messed up, address the situation immediately. If emotions are running high, give the other person a brief cool down period but be careful not to let too much time pass. It will seem as if you are thoughtless or don’t care that you have hurt their feelings. Worse yet, ignoring it ever happened and not mentioning it again is the most damaging way to handle the situation.
B. Take the right steps to an apology.
Whether you offended a colleague, made an error that cost the company a great deal of money or embarrassment, or simply snapped at your teen when you were overly tired, the road to forgiveness is the same:
* Own your action.
* Admit your mistake.
* Show remorse.
* Ask forgiveness.
* Fix it by stating what you are going to do moving forward. Yes it’s humbling — that’s the point to a poignant apology.
C. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.
An apology is only valid when it’s sincere. A halfhearted attempt with the sole intention to patronize the other person does more harm than good. An apology is only as powerful as the follow through and if it’s not authentic, it will soon be obvious. Insincerity will only make the situation worse.
D. Apologize in person.
While there may be situations where it’s impossible to say “I’m sorry” face-to-face, every effort should be made to make your amends in person. If your only option is by a phone call or an email, do it, but keep in mind you are at a disadvantage because the other person cannot see your body language and your tone of voice may not translate as well.
E. No excuses.
Never add a “but” to the end of your apology. Anything you say after the word “but” negates anything you expressed prior. Don’t even think about offering your side of the story as an excuse for your behavior.
F. “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology.
You may as well say, “Clearly you are the one with the problem.” A better option, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” carries much more weight.
G. Keep the focus off of yourself.
Allow the other person to express their feelings without turning the conversation back around to how and why you did (or said) what you did (said). The goal here is ‘forgiveness,’ not explanation.
H. Don’t expect a miracle.
It is no surprise that “I’m sorry” is not an immediate memory eraser. Accept the fact that your apology, no matter how sincerely delivered, may ease the pain but take a while longer to get over the hurt.
I. It’s never too late.
If there is someone you need to speak with and the conversation is long overdue, much like a late thank you note, it’s better late than never and it will be good for both of you.
Often times, feelings are injured. As you heal, prepare for this:
* Allow space for friendships to rebound and evolve.
* Always be on cordial speaking terms.
* Conflicts are an opportunity for inner growth.”
It never hurts to be the bigger person and apologize. Saying those magic two words, “I’m sorry” goes a long way. The biggest challenge for some people is to realize and admit that they are not perfect and that they can make mistakes. Apologies can never be legitimately received if that step is not taken. How can you apologize for something if you think that you are perfect and never wrong.
Do you get the point? If you don’t and if you think that you never do or say anything that’s wrong or inappropriate – Please, please accept my sincere apology! I thought that you had move to the next level!
Photo credit: www.refe99.com; Source: www.quora.com; www.spiritualityhealth.com; www.huffingtonpost.com

PostHeaderIcon IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE

By Vernalee
image
It’s never too late in most matters to apologize. If you don’t believe it, try it! Let’s start with the basics. It is always safe to make the obvious known.
Though known and obvious, an apology simply is defined as “a statement saying that you are sorry about something: an expression of regret for having done or said something wrong: an expression of regret for not being able to do something.”
“There are two common reasons why people apologize:
1. To try to make the person they wronged feel better by taking responsibility and showing empathy.
2. To try to make themselves feel better through atonement which will, hopefully, assuage their guilt.
As with most things, there is a right and wrong approach. There is a “right” way to apologize. The right way is to accept responsibility for your actions and remorsefully express your sincere regret for the damage done. The wrong way is anything other than a heartfelt apology. Here’s what the experts say that we should do:
A. Apologize promptly.
When you realize that you’ve messed up, address the situation immediately. If emotions are running high, give the other person a brief cool down period but be careful not to let too much time pass. It will seem as if you are thoughtless or don’t care that you have hurt their feelings. Worse yet, ignoring it ever happened and not mentioning it again is the most damaging way to handle the situation.
B. Take the right steps to an apology.
Whether you offended a colleague, made an error that cost the company a great deal of money or embarrassment, or simply snapped at your teen when you were overly tired, the road to forgiveness is the same:
* Own your action.
* Admit your mistake.
* Show remorse.
* Ask forgiveness.
* Fix it by stating what you are going to do moving forward. Yes it’s humbling — that’s the point to a poignant apology.
C. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.
An apology is only valid when it’s sincere. A halfhearted attempt with the sole intention to patronize the other person does more harm than good. An apology is only as powerful as the follow through and if it’s not authentic, it will soon be obvious. Insincerity will only make the situation worse.
D. Apologize in person.
While there may be situations where it’s impossible to say “I’m sorry” face-to-face, every effort should be made to make your amends in person. If your only option is by a phone call or an email, do it, but keep in mind you are at a disadvantage because the other person cannot see your body language and your tone of voice may not translate as well.
E. No excuses.
Never add a “but” to the end of your apology. Anything you say after the word “but” negates anything you expressed prior. Don’t even think about offering your side of the story as an excuse for your behavior.
F. “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology.
You may as well say, “Clearly you are the one with the problem.” A better option, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” carries much more weight.
G. Keep the focus off of yourself.
Allow the other person to express their feelings without turning the conversation back around to how and why you did (or said) what you did (said). The goal here is ‘forgiveness,’ not explanation.
H. Don’t expect a miracle.
It is no surprise that “I’m sorry” is not an immediate memory eraser. Accept the fact that your apology, no matter how sincerely delivered, may ease the pain but take a while longer to get over the hurt.
I. It’s never too late.
If there is someone you need to speak with and the conversation is long overdue, much like a late thank you note, it’s better late than never and it will be good for both of you.
Often times, feelings are injured. As you heal, prepare for this:
* Allow space for friendships to rebound and evolve.
* Always be on cordial speaking terms.
* Conflicts are an opportunity for inner growth.”
It never hurts to be the bigger person and apologize. Saying those magic two words, “I’m sorry” goes a long way. The biggest challenge for some people is to realize and admit that they are not perfect and that they can make mistakes. Apologies can never be legitimately received if that step is not taken. How can you apologize for something if you think that you are perfect and never wrong.
Do you get the point? If you don’t and if you think that you never do or say anything that’s wrong or inappropriate – Please, please accept my sincere apology! I thought that you had move to the next level!
Photo credit: www.refe99.com; Source: www.quora.com; www.spiritualityhealth.com; www.huffingtonpost.com

PostHeaderIcon “I’M SORRY” – 2 WORDS HARD TO SAY

By Vernalee
image
Mistakes, missteps, apologies – where do they all fit? Why is it difficult to apologize? Despite the associated pride, admittance of errors, revelation of guilt, and other variables, apologizing to people that you love is a prerequisite, particularly if you wish to stay around. In that spirit, there are Eight Things that you should always apologize for if you love someone.
People make mistakes; some intentional, some not. When that happens or feelings are bruised, should there be an apology extended and who should apologize first? It’s this fallacy that whoever apologizes first is either the weakest or is guilty. Such is not the case. Apologies are not signs of weakness or guilt; quite the contrary. They are expressions of caring; expressions of not caring who says it first – because it really doesn’t matter. Can I get an Amen? Raise your hand if you strive to be the biggest person; simply because you want a harmonious relationship; simply because you care enough to say it first; simply because you want to do the right thing. At the count of eight, read below and let me know if you would or should apologize when and if any of these occurrences happen:
1. Starting fights and arguments
2. Slacking and not doing your share of the errands and chores.
3. Not trying hard enough to make the changes your partner would appreciate or has requested that you make.
4. Not bothering to make special occasions special.
5. Not paying enough attention.
6. Losing your cool and saying things that you instantly regret.
7. For not being there when your partner needed you.
8. For not having the guts to apologize in the first place.
Are you still counting? All kidding aside, apologies breed understanding. They are foundational for solid relationships. They show compassion; they take you up a notch higher. Believe it or not, an apology is a demonstration of strength not weakness. It’s about saying that you truly care. That two letter word, “I’m sorry”, though hard to utter for many … goes a long way. It travel like the speed of light and penetrate the heart and ears of those needing to hear. Try it and see how it works!
Alright, step aside. Let me deal with those who reside in their utopia world of individual perfection. They worry not about pleasing anyone but themselves. You know who I’m talking about. Right? Therefore, if you are one of those folks in this elite class who never admit to being sorry and the words “I’m sorry” rarely or never leave your lips, this advice is not for you. You are in that self professed group of people who are never wrong! Please forgive me for being presumptuous to have entered your world making suggestions that I am sure you regard as outlandish. “I’m Sorry!” Please accept my apology!
Photo credit: www.pinterst.com; Source: www.dailyelite.com

PostHeaderIcon Apologize – Is that something that you do?

By Vernalee
image
It takes a real man or woman to apologize for a misstep. For some people, the word – apology – is not in their glossary of words. When that word is uttered, it is an admission to an error or mistake. Egotistical people have difficulties making such a statement because in their minds they are never wrong! So the question becomes: Would you rather apologize and show others that you care or would you rather keep quiet and stroke your ego? Your answer will show … who you are!
Jackiewong88.wordpress.com

PostHeaderIcon The power of an apology

By Vernalee
sweetness of the everyday blog spot - maya angelou quote
I’m sorry…Two words that are difficult for many to say; two words that separate the men from the boys; two words that reveal our maturity. Since we all misstep, admittance and an apology speak more to our character than the error of our ways. More importantly, it shows that you are not above saying I’m sorry!
Photo credit: www.sweetnessoftheeverydayblogspot.com; Quote: Maya Angelou.

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