Posts Tagged ‘Friends’
There have been a number of theories and quotes on the types of friends who walk through our lives. For me, the version that hit the nail on the head is outlined in Bishop T. D. Jakes’ sermon on “3 Types of Friends.”
Bishop Jakes called them, “Confidants, constituents, and comrades.”
The confidants are people who are for you. Your confidants love you unconditionally. Confidants weep with you, rejoice with you, and are happy for you….Confidants will make sure that you reach your destiny.
Your constituents are for what you are for; while your comrades are against what you are against.
Jakes cautions us to not confuse the groups, because constituents and comrades will leave you! The latter two are joined to an external interest/issue of yours, but not you per se.
If you have two or three confidants in your lifetime, you are blessed!
I thank God for giving me the wisdom to discern that a diamond is coal first!
There have been times that I have been wrong and erroneously classified friends. I have been left blowing in the wind. Have you?
It happens to the best of us! We can be fooled because people can theatrically show synthetic traits that make them appear genuine and real.
It’s important to know who’s who in your life! Recognizing and discerning them are critical steps in this identification process.
Bishop Jakes breaks it down better than me. Take a look!
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In 1984, hip hop group, Whodini had an amazing hit. It was called “Friends/How many of you have them?” The lyrics are quite deep. I invite you to listen. In this journey of friendships, we meet many people who we considered to be our friends; some became actual friends; some are still around; and others were fake. Time and actions will tell us who’s who. It always does. We will learn the inaccuracy of the more the friends, the merrier; it’s not the number, but the sincerity.
“Being a good friend isn’t always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many won’t, and you’ll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one.”
My daughter always says, “Mommy, I want to have friends like yours!” Admittedly, I have a few good friends. I believe that you often attract who you are. I am blessed to have lasting friendships; many of which have been around for decades. They care; I care. I love them; they love me. We have laughed together, cried together, shared secrets that can never be told, and been there for each other. Geography may in some cases separate us, but the closeness in our souls is uncanny. Making friends and keeping them is no easy task. It’s work! We all fall short and need regular reinforcers. Just like everything else, the more we work at it, the better we become.
To be a good friend and deepen a friendship, let’s see what the experts say and examine our behavior to see how many of the following steps we take or need to take to become trust worthy, supportive, and make our friendships last. Here we go:
1. Keep your promises.
2. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake.
3. Be honest.
4. Don’t use people.
5. Be loyal.
6. Be respectful.
1. Be selfless.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Help your friends deal with their struggles.
4. Be there in a time of crisis.
5. Give thoughtful advice.
6. Give your friend some space when he/she needs it.
Making your friendship last:
1. Learn to forgive.
2. Accept your friend for who he/she is.
3. Go beyond.
4. Stay in touch no matter what.
5. Let your friendship evolve.
Now all of us are busy. Don’t let your friendship suffer.
Here are a few things that you can do to maintain your friendship during those busy moments.
1. Make a date. Get on their calendar.
2. Your phone is always with you. Use it religiously to call, email, and
3. Go big. Double up. Make the most of your time. Get groups of friends
4. Practice random acts of kindness.
5. Use Social media.
6. Be choosy about your friendships.
Since friendships take work. Add these tidbits to your list.
1. Make sure they’re okay the moment you sense something wrong. …
2. Know when to be serious and when to be goofy. …
3. Go the extra mile when they ask for help. …
4. Don’t give up on them during their darkest hours. …
5. Make them feel wanted. …
6. Tell them, “I’ve always got your back,” at least once (and mean it.)
Are you a good friend? Are you there for your friends? Do you care for them and love them? Are you respectful of them and their time? Are you envious and jealous of their accomplishments or happy and delighted that they succeed? What’s the answer? Don’t ask me! Ask your friends!
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During the course of our lives, we meet many people. Nothing beats the ones who enter your life and never leave. There’s a reason why they stay. Hmmm! You probably are itching to know the answer. It is no mystery or miraculous finding. Is it that we share the same values, goals, and objectives? Yes. Is it that we love them? Yes. What is the difference that causes them to stay? I cannot say that I have a comprehensive answer or the right response, but I attribute it to a divine connection. Your spirits become intertwined.
I have been fortunate to meet a few that only time and distance separate. Whenever you see each other regardless of the time that has slipped by since your last visit, you pick up as if you glazed each other in the eye just yesterday. It’s a stickiness that cannot be erased; a glue that connects you; a love that will hold you and keep you together.
My Mother always said, “God places people in your life.” We walk our trail not alone. We expect our family members to be there as our cheerleaders. But when we are fortunate enough to find “true” friends who share our inner spirit, it is a treasure; a glittering diamond of sorts. They are rare, but hopefully you have encountered a few. They are the ones that are not biologically connect by blood, but spiritually connected by God. They are the ones who you share your stories of successes, failures, ups, downs, and turnarounds. Lest not forget the relating of nightmares and stupid stuff that even you cannot believe that you did until your wisdom kicked in and convinced you of the dangers. Often, we discuss subjects that are embarrassing, but we need the advice of someone who cares enough to set us straight without judgment. They too are the ones who encourage and motivate you to do your best, connect you to the right people, and share not an ounce of jealousy. It becomes mutual.
So I feel bless to have these valuable treasures in my life. It is a privilege as they don’t come around often.
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There have been a number of theories and quotes on the types of friends who walk through our life. For me, the version that hit the nail on the head is outlined in Bishop T. D. Jakes’ sermon on “3 Types of Friends.” I had the opportunity to watch this 8 minute video. Bishop Jakes called them, “Confidants, constituents, and comrades.” The confidants are people who are for you. Your confidants love you unconditionally. Confidants weep with you, rejoice with you, and are happy for you….Confidants will make sure that you reach your destiny. Your constituents are for what you are for; while your comrades are against what you are against. Jakes cautions us to not confuse the groups, because constituents and comrades will leave you! The latter two are joined to an external interest / issue of yours, but not you per se. If you have two or three confidants in your lifetime, you are blessed! I thank God for giving me the wisdom to discern that a diamond is coal first! There have been times that I have been wrong and erroneously classified who was who in my life! It happens to the best of us! We can be fooled because people can theatrically show synthetic traits and make them appear genuine and real. I am not technologically savvy enough to embed in this blog post the video (Bishop T.D. Jakes – Three Types of Friends) for your viewing, but a google of same is well worth the watch! It’s important to know who’s who in your life! Recognizing and discerning them are critical steps in this identification process.
Photo credit: www.quotesgram.com
I love my “true” friends. I simply adore them. They are an extended version of family. I respect them, protect them, do not speak negatively about them, and am loyal to them whether in their view or not! I am happy to see great things happen to them and sad with the inverse. My “true” friends reflect the rainbow coalition. Although I cannot see the hearts of my true friends, somehow we manage to always be a heartbeat away! Nothing beats the closeness of loving family and friends! Judge me not for this is what I was taught! Blame the “Mississippi” in me!