Posts Tagged ‘men’

PostHeaderIcon AN ALPHA MALE

By Vernalee
As women, we encounter various types of men in our universe. One such man is the Alpha Male. Now then, who is the Alpha Male?
Let me describe him by characteristics. If you know him, give me a jingle.
The Alpha Male is commonly called “the real man, a man’s man, a warrior, a stand-up guy. He is a leader, the guy others look to for motivation, inspiration, and often with a hint of jealousy. He’s the man that women want.”
Ladies, if I have your attention, keep reading. Though it is lengthy, we want a man who will not fade away in the sunset.
Here we go.
“25 characteristics that make a man the alpha.
1. The alpha male is persistent. There’s no quit in this man. He’s the last man standing.
2. The alpha male can defend himself and his family.
3. The alpha male is in peak physical shape. He’s strong and athletic as well as aesthetically pleasing to the opposite sex.
4. The alpha male is courageous. He doesn’t lack fear, rather, he accepts that it exists and faces it at every opportunity.
5. The alpha male can entertain. He has a sense of humor and can have a group of people hanging on his every word – he’s a good story teller.
6. The alpha male has stories to tell. He’s lived – and is living – a unique life. He’s made mistakes, but he’s able to find humor in them. He’s had adventures that everyone wants to hear about.
7. The alpha male can laugh at himself.
8. The alpha male is humble. No matter what he accomplishes, his head will never balloon, and if it does, he comes back down to earth before it gets out of hand.
9. The alpha male is learned, educated. A degree isn’t a prerequisite, but a thirst for knowledge is. This helps him relate to people from every social and economic standing. He can converse intelligently. He is a history buff and a sports nut.
10. The alpha male is a man’s man. He’s tough, often quiet, composed, but can joke and shoot the breeze with anyone.
11. The alpha male knows the value of every word, he doesn’t talk simply to hear the sound of his own voice. His words are chosen carefully. He respects their power; he speaks when he has something of value to say. He’s never the loudest one in the room.
12. The alpha male has a purpose. This may be his most defining trait. Where many wander through life trying to find their Self, the alpha male is too busy creating his Self. Every day he does something to bring himself closer to his goal.
13. The alpha male is a hard worker. He knows that nothing great is accomplished without hard work and a definite purpose.
14. The alpha male is a warrior not a worrier.
15. The alpha male doesn’t pick a fight, but he ends it if he’s in one. He doesn’t fight to destroy, but to defend.
16. The alpha male has style. He takes pride in how he looks. He also knows how to dress like a man.
17. The alpha male knows who he is; his values govern his life. He doesn’t stray from these values, in fact he stands up for them even if he stands alone.
18. The alpha male knows how to treat a lady. He respects women. He’s chivalrous. He helps his lady at every chance. He helps her reach her dreams.
19. The alpha male isn’t a sucker. He isn’t a clinger. He won’t let a woman run his life. He’s his own man. Though he worships the ground his lady walks on, he will not likely be with a jealous woman.
20. The alpha male is a man of value and values. He makes the lives of others better by being a part of them.
21. The alpha male helps others, he’s generous. He has his purpose, but he knows that life isn’t merely about accomplishments, but about leaving a legacy. That legacy is how he made others feel, and how he helps others accomplish their dreams.
22. The alpha male is a leader who leads by example. He doesn’t tell people how to live, but lives in the manner he sees as best to live.
23. Alpha males throughout history, (Achilles and Napoleon), saw opportunity where others saw failure. The alpha male will fail, but he won’t see failure as the end. He’s sees it as a necessary part of the experience, a stepping-stone. Knowing this allows him to try things others won’t, and to work harder when others usually quit.
24. The alpha male is stubborn. When he starts something he’s passionate about, no one can stop him or pull back on the reigns. He’s in it until the end. He’s also open-minded and willing to listen to other points of view. He knows he’s flawed.
25. The alpha male is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people. He passionately works hard. He’s excited by life, by the opportunity that each day presents. He’s genuine in every facet of who he is. Bred from curiosity, a genuine kindness, and a warrior’s heart, he is who he is, and all others follow him wherever he will lead them.”
With the characteristics out of the way, what do we as women want?
The answer is simple.
We desire a man who will love us, respect us, protect us, provide for us, be loyal to us, be there for us, listen to us, support us … be our everything…
Whether he is an Alpha or an Omega, we are his beginning and his end…and everything (I mean everything) in between!
He shows us how much he loves us and what we mean to him on two occasions – day and night!
I’m shaking in my boots as I am engulfed in his rapture and splendor!
Now, that’s what I’m talking about!
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By Vernalee
I’ve got your back; If I’ve got money, you’ve got money; What I have is yours; If you need something, call me; What’s mine is yours; I’ll be here through thick and thin; You and the kids will never go without; I love you more than anything, more than life itself; You’ll never want for nothing; No worries, I’ve got you covered; I’ll be by your side forevermore; It’s your world, I’m just living in it; Bring your troubles to me; I’m your fix it man; There ain’t nothing in the world that I wouldn’t do for you; I really, really love you” are expressions that you may have heard from time to time. Many have been whispered in your ears during times of intimacy. If some haven’t been echoed, well that may be another problem. Agreed? The list is infinite. All of the words make you feel good. Don’t they? There are times that they lift you up off the ground and spend you around. Sometimes, they make you feel like you are floating on a cloud. You can even visualize yourself wearing a priceless tiara and flowing designer evening gowns being treated like a queen sitting on a pure gold throne, and living in a royal decorated palace with your man (who has promised you the world; your king) by your side. “Talk to me somebody!”
Now then, the time has come. Your imagination joins hands with his commitments; his promises. Just wait. Sooner or later, they will be tested. Eventually, the “rubber meets the road.”
Where and when the rubber meets the road is regarded as the most important point for something. It is the moment of truth. It is where the practical reality or crucial test proves what the outcome will be.
Will those commitments come true? Has he been lying through his teeth or is he a man of his word? Were you crazy to believe him or heads over heels in love?
Father Time is amazing. Time will always catch up with us. It miraculously forces the truth to raise its head. Did your man pass the test? Or does he have a flat tire? Will he remain behind the wheels or be kicked to the curb? Look on the road. You can’t get any closer than those four wheels gripping the black asphalt. He will get out of the car being either a talker or a doer; a man of his word or a man with words of broken promises; a man of all show and no go; or a man who will treasure you with all you deserve and all he promised. Either you will say, “What a man” or “What a _____.”
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By Vernalee
Stop confusing the terms, gentleman and good man! By definition, a gentleman is defined as a man who is courteous and honorable; a man who treats other people in a proper and polite manner; and a man of high social status. A good man, by definition, has a variable definition depending on the person. In general, a good man is referred to by his attributes of treatment to others, particularly – the woman in his life.
The Top 15 Signs of a Good Man are as follow:
1. A good man never lets you forget how much he loves you.
2. A good man always supports you.
3. A good man will inspire you.
4. A good man will work to gain your trust.
5. A good man will always make you feel beautiful.
6. A good man will make you feel safe.
7. A good man does the little things.
8. A good man never crosses the line.
9. A good man is always trying to improve himself.
10. A good man understands that actions speak louder than words.
11. A good man will open up to you.
12. A good man will always be honest with you.
13. A good man will make you feel comfortable being honest.
14. A good man will never be abusive.
15. A good man will stand by you.
Those are the 15 signs that HuffPost Women had to say. Let’s dig further.
The Bible has countless scriptures on what a Man and a Good Man should do and how he should behave. Who knows better than the Father? I counted about 60 plus verses. “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love” is one of them. Of course, as with most subjects, we always put our interpretative spin on things.
One of my male friends always said, “A good man anticipates his woman’s needs. She doesn’t have to ask. He knows.” Another lifelong friend from Mississippi swears on her definition of a good man. According to her, “A good man will be my your side; love you, protect you, provide for you, pray with you and for you; will never lie to you; will be there in your time of need to hold your hand; his money is your money; will unselfishly treat you like a million dollars with change to spare.” Another wonderful friend equates, “A good man will put the “R” in romance.” Selfishness and laziness never enter his space when it comes to his woman. A good man will catch you before you fall. Whatever it takes, he will not let you hit the ground! He will put a ring on that finger because he doesn’t want to lose you to another. How competitive he is to eliminate the competition! Sharing his “squeeze” is not in the cards. A good man recognizes a good woman and does what is necessary to keep her! “What a Man!” There are too many definitions and variables; too many to elaborate.
A good man will take your breath away and make you forget about what you were talking about, or in this case writing about; as I have so elegantly done in this text. Whew!
So, back to the topic of the distinguishing features of a good man and a gentleman. Just because he opens the door, lets you walk in first, pulls out your chair, and puts the napkin in your lap, don’t mean that he is a good man. It means that his Mother taught him the rules of etiquette. A gentleman and a good man are not synonyms. However, a gentleman can be a good man and vice versa, but not necessarily. You catch my drift, right? Admittedly, this is too confusing and complicated ladies when all we want is a mighty good man who gently treat us right! If he is a good man who is “in to you” as a good man would be, he will know precisely what you need, wants, and expects; he will know how to make that happen. Unlike a ball of hot air, he walks the talk! Case closed! Now then, if he is a masculine specimen who believes in the Lord, is easy on the eyes with Herculean muscles, has the provider gene, the romantic swirl, and is as fine as wine, I ain’t mad at him! We’ll gladly take the value added bonuses that undoubtedly increase his goodness! My apologies to the lengthiness of this post, but a good man is worth the stretch!
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PostHeaderIcon His Utilitarian Value / How great he is when he performs services for me

By Vernalee

It does not hurt to integrate men in our lives for a particular purpose.
They, referring to the male species of the world, have been utilizing us in that capacity for years. All things considered, it can be a wonderful gesture to be a copycat. In other word, do as they do. Why reinvent the wheel? When you copy, there is no learning curve. You are guaranteed exact duplicative results as you merely imitate their actions. When we transfer their experienced techniques to our usefulness, we can use men for their utilitarian value. Certainly, they bring a lot to the table with their unlimited resources and their talents.

Alright! Stop the madness! I know what you are thinking, because I once had the same thoughts. I was the epitome of a strong, independent Black woman who felt that I could do it all. Trust me; you as I have no reason to feel guilty. Vacate those thoughts! Independence and guilt have their place. They are archaic principles in this situation that should be relegated to your past. Since “doing it all by myself with no help” was once my operational style, I had to let those medieval practices evaporate in the ozone stratosphere. I wouldn’t even ask for assistance. Everything was for hire. Time brings about a change and I have done a “360 degree – about face” “Once you know better; you do better.” I cannot thank you enough Dr. Maya Angelou for those words of wisdom!

Don’t think for one minute that you don’t know how to do this; how to rely on men.
Reflect upon how you have been used and you will be amazed at the proficiency of your skill set. Let’s explore this concept.

Can he do yard work? Bingo, you don’t have to hire a gardener! Rake in your savings. You can buy a Gucci bag with those funds.

Do you need a problem solver? Use his intellectual capital to help you solve issues. If you do it right, he will claim ownership and a sense of responsibility for your issues. Shazam! Try that on for size! Besides, two heads are better than one.

If he is mechanically talented, he can be your handyman. The dripping sink; those dirty walls that need a touch up paint job; the leaky roof; and your broken garage door can now be repaired by him. No worries. What he can’t do, I am sure that he can hire the right tradesman. Pow!

On those cold snowy days, you can drive out of your yard with relative ease because he has retained a snow plow service for those special times. Why break your back!

Stop feeling anxious and overwhelmed. He has used you for your utilitarian services and values – time and time again to his benefit. His tummy remains full, thanks to you! You bought and cooked the food. Remember? His house is cleaned; shirt laundered because of your loving kindness. You have been his sounding board for years! No wonder he is so wise and make sound decisions!

It’s not payback. It’s good judgment. It’s about a caring man anticipating your needs or you being courageous enough to ask for his assistance if he doesn’t. Guess what? He cannot justifiably criticize you for this approach. You followed the golden rule, “Do unto him, as he has done to you.” You learned it all from him. What a wonderful teacher he has been!

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