Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

PostHeaderIcon LEMONADE

By Vernalee
I once thought that I was the Queen Bee of making the world’s best tasting lemonade until Beyonce stole the show with her “Lemonade!” Yes, it is correct that I am the same age as Tina Knowles Lawson, Beyonce’s Mother. Yes, some may ask why am I listening to sounds of my daughter’s contemporary. I’m glad you asked! I’ll tell you why! Despite its ubiquitous coverage where missing it is hard to do, Beyonce’s “Lemonade” is about the emotional love roller coaster that women who have loved experience and travel. Sooner or later, the ride may shake you up and take you on a journey that goes up slowly and brings you down fast! Scary, right? Beyonce doesn’t reiterate utopia – a world of smooth sailing, but sings about a road of bumps and bruises where beauty, fame, or money won’t exempt; a world where the good may suffer with the bad.
My daughter once told me, “Mommy, Beyonce is my girl! We grew up together. She means to me what Aretha (Franklin) and Tina (Turner) mean to you.” Now, that’s a statement of immense magnitude; the attachment is too uncanny, but the message was clearly understood. Somewhere in time, Beyonce hit a note that told her story like Aretha told mine! I get it! The validity of my daughter’s statement demonstrates the infinite wisdom of a young soul clothed in old folks sense. It clearly shows that it doesn’t matter who is behind the microphone when the story is relatable. If you have loved and not been loved back; felt the pain of infidelity; been affiliated with a cheater who justified why; been hurt and the sting lingered and wouldn’t go away; been publicly embarrassed with shame; reconciled; tried to keep your love and family together only to later have it torn apart; stood before the preacher and pledged your love before all to see the fragments scattered faster than you uttered your vows of forevermore; believed in redemption and forgiveness to give love another try; and …. refuse to give up on love; continue to seek love and happiness; don’t want to grow old alone, et al, you can comprehend and tangibly feel the lyrics in “Lemonade!” It is ageless! It’s the “Chain of fools” where the “loving was just too strong” or the “second handed emotion” of “What’s love got to do with it” of my generation. My maturity woke me up this morning with the alarm that music can tell the story of love and life pleasantries or the lack thereof harmonized to a synchronized lyrical beat. It can ring in your ears the theory that puts into perspective that keeping it together is more significant than tearing it apart. Starting over is always an option, but it is not always easy when your soul is full of bruises caused by the aftermath of pain. Unfortunately, for some of us – eradicating our soulful emotions by calling it quits is the most viable solution. When we don’t or can’t combine the right amount of water and sugar to lemon juice, the taste is bittersweet. Life is no different. Now, I don’t suspect that I will grab a wooden baseball bat and knock out car windows as Beyonce does in her video, but who knows! Love can make us do a many splendid and unpredictable things! Keep your doors locked and your windows down – “just saying!”
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By Vernalee
This is a true story … beware if you find the contents relatable or familiar.
The dream date turned out to be everything but a dream as he related to his gorgeous date that his fiancée was not what he thought; not living up to his expectations. What? “Fiancée? Why did he invited me to dinner – were thoughts circulating through her brain as her blood fiercely boiled! Startled by his comments as she looked at this immaculate professional handsome gent, she pondered her words and moves. Then the words blurted out. “Get it right with her. Decide what you want. I cannot be a part of this charade which will lead to someone getting hurt and I don’t want it to be me! I’ve been there!” Walking away was easier than getting involved in a love triangle; a point of no return.
The Pointer Sisters had a 1975 hit record called, “How long – I betcha you gotta a chick on the side.” The lyrics went like this:
“I betcha got a chick on the side –
It might hurt me for a while
But one thing I am sure
I’ll get over you, yes I’ll find someone new
Each time I open up my heart
It seems to just get torn apart
How long
Will this game go on
How long
Oh oh how long.”
For sure, she is not a background singer melodically humming a “somebody done somebody wrong” song. Kudos to her for taking the high road and not relegating herself to be that other side chick; being in a second place spot or a backstreet girl. Thinking like a Queen makes you act like one! She refused to play his game! What was he thinking or was he testosterone guided? When she told me the story, I said, “Go girl … I take my hat off to you!” Cleaning up an old school saying removing the vulgarities where it can be printed, I relate the phrase, “A man can only do what a woman permits.” Some say women learned well from their male counterparts. I’m not sure, but the triangle is no longer male exclusive. Based upon infidelity surveys and evidence, I guess they taught the female species the lessons that they learned and acquired substantially well. Roosters and hens are playing the same game and little baby chicks are sprouting up everywhere. The pupil and teacher are now playing ball on the same field! Some people start a game that they regret they played! I say, “The rooster has come home to roost!”
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PostHeaderIcon 10 Little Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

By Vernalee
10 Little Things Happy Couples Do Every Day
1. They communicate.
2. They grow common interest.
3. They spend time together.
4. They cuddle huddle.
5. They hug and peck.
6. They signify I “heart” you everyday. (i.e. – I love you everyday).
7. They have a sense of humor.
8. They turn off their ringers.
9. They believe in PDA. (Public Displays of Affection).
10. They plan their futures together.
How do you look? Don’t answer? Do make the changes as required. Your happiness depends upon it … particularly if loneliness (or being alone) is not an option!
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PostHeaderIcon Are the two of you on the same page?

By Vernalee
quotes“man in your life,” at his word. He can make you extraordinarily happy or disappointingly sad depending upon the outcomes of his behavior; the reverse can be true from you to him. Nothing beats a harmonious relationship. Keeping your word and living up to your commitment are foundational principles. If you can’t satisfy those terms, you may as well close the book altogether. In order to have Harmony, Happiness, and Honor, being on the same page and chapter are fundamental. Interesting, if you have to see, discern, or ask what page you’re on after being in a committed relationship for a substantial period of time, there is undoubtedly an emotional disconnect. Being on the same page may not be the question; remaining in an unfulfilling relationship may be a more suitable ask!
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PostHeaderIcon Giving back

By Vernalee
On one of my consulting gigs, there is a young colleague who calls me Professor. In fact, I am honored every time the word is uttered! I strongly feel that I have the responsibility to enhance, assist and improve my mentee’s career.
I try to show my student the ropes and the short cuts, as I impart knowledge. Assisting others is a process that we should attempt to do. It is very satisfying! In fact, I enjoy my unofficial capacity of being a mentor. I am of the belief that my protégé is benefitting from my previous experiences and knowledge. It is a two way process – as I share, my protégé becomes empowered. Ironically, so do I! If the governmental agencies employ mentor – protégé relationships, why can’t we?
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PostHeaderIcon Keys to my house: Absolutely not!

By Vernalee
images - keys

Kindly, he asked me if he could have keys to my house. If he had keys, he would not have to disturb me and could let himself in with ease. What a thoughtful guy? Not so fast with that conclusion. If you want mine, will you surrender yours? Fair rule, right? Why did this man ask me for my key with no reciprocity? I felt insulted and told him so. “Don’t ask me for anything for which you are not willing to give.” The audacity of him!

That is why I made him aware of my cardinal rule.
“No man gets the keys to my house unless our last name is the same.” As marriage was a step that neither one of us were prepared to entertain at that point in time, nothing more needed to be said; case closed! No keys to your house; no keys to mine. A keyless guy he was then and a keyless guy he remained. Since he had the nerves to ask, I had the guts to honestly reply with a straight answer. Besides, when I keep my keys in my pocket, I will always be in control of who walks through my door. Agreed?

What’s your thought?

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PostHeaderIcon The Duck Test / Stop ignoring what your eyes reveal

By Vernalee
mallard 2 duck 

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