By Vernalee
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
This George Bernard Shaw quote speaks of the illusion that communication has occurred, but in actuality, it has not. Both people think they understand what has been passed between them, but the ideas they have are not the same. What? Really! This is where the illusion of communication can be most damaging. Effective communications travels both ways. Though you heard the words, you may feel as if you need an interpreter. It’s almost as if the two of you are speaking different languages. Communications is critical to relationships of any types.
Place in your toolbox these words of wisdom:
* The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.
* The worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you weren’t worth the truth.
* Communications to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it, it can’t survive.
* Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you are there.
* A lack of communication breeds assumptions of what the other is thinking or feeling, and assumptions are more often than not incorrect.
Speak, listen, and open your heart and mind to hear! Care enough to reach out and make sure that your message was clearly heard and understood. Don’t hide behind a shield, ignore the miscommunication mishaps, or think that you are “all that and a bag of chips.” Your concerns/problems may lie dormant but they won’t go away or evaporate into thin air. If you want to solve them and have a healthy relationship, you must talk about them. Imagine that! When you know that a problem exists, solve it. Reach out. Take the initiative … for a change. Let your actions show; actions do speak louder than words! Verbal words that flow from your tongue may be needed rather than transmitted words that flow from a technological device via a text message or an email. You can hide behind a computer or cell phone, but you can’t hide from the presence of yourself. Do know that your problems fueled by your non-communications will continue to grow, create barriers, eventually explode, or constructively coerce a person to withdraw and perhaps leave the fragments behind. When a communications emergency occurs, it forces the parties to act – one way or the other!
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