By Vernalee
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Many songs have been written about affairs. From Hank Williams singing “Your Cheating Heart” to Dolly Parton begging “Jolene” to leave her man alone, affairs present complicated scenarios. Ducking, dodging, and hiding are inherent to the game. As some calculated and scary risks are taken, the escalation continues “at the dark end of the street…where they (the couple) always meet…” as singer Percy Sledge’s so rhythmically harmonized. Moving away from the words put to music, here is the abbreviated cost. According to recent surveys, the average affair costs $444 a month for a typical rendezvous. The cost consists of hotel bills, dinner / drinks, gifts, and dating activities. This amount does not include the relationship’s “maintenance” cost inclusive of secret cell phones / credit cards, airline tickets, and other miscellaneous expenses. The referenced abbreviated cost also does not factor in income variances for the high rollers. The $120 hotel daily room charge could be $700 for a suite if the purse strings allow. The price for secrecy can certainly sky rocket. So when the melodic Billy Paul sings, “Me and Mrs. Jones got a thing going on as they meet every day at the same café,” their secret rendezvous costs more than “the pair of boots under her bed” that country singer Shania Twain referenced that weren’t hers!
lipstick shirtAll kidding and poetic lyrics aside, for certain, financially, cheating is expensive, but the emotional trauma is equally riveting. Lip stick on his collar and the smell of perfume may be your least worry. Monitoring, or shall I say scooping around, to see who’s who on their Instagram and FaceBook pages are common time consuming tasks. He / she who looks, shall find! Installing a GPS device to track their cheating dirt is for the birds, but everything depends on where you sit! Tracking a slick cheater is tantamount to a part time job. Whew! What happens when the suspicions become the truth? What happens when the lies catch up and the cheater is caught red handed? Violations of trust, lies, secrecies, guilt … all take their toll. Lives are damaged; friendships are compromised; family life is altered. Starting over is tough, but a person must do what is needed if he / she wants to save their relationship, be reconnected as a couple, and preserve what they have built. For certain, there are associated and measurable costs of infidelity that may last after the cheating / affair is over. Sometimes, it may be too late; the damage may be too steep. Walking away may be the only solution. Thus, it is important to think before you walk in to meet your secret lover. Walking out is more than footsteps. It’s complicated! When it is over, your rebuild to “stay with the one you want” occurs one step at a time; baby steps at that! Forgiving, forgetting, erasing the memories … well that’s another subject!
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